ThisOneGoes Posted October 30, 2003 Posted October 30, 2003 I posted before, but still having some problems.... Okay, I'm 26. I live with my Girlfriend......Mom and Dad divorced when i was 2 but remained good friends and have helped each other throughout the years with NO romantic ties (even though i think my dad still secretly loves my mom, But she's been remarried now for years and Dad has been single ever since i was 2.) Mom, moved away 2 years ago with my stepdad. I couldn't be more happy for them, they have a good thing going on. Here's the problem...My DAD(53) is sort of a Sit at home and Watch TV kinda guy. He has a great payin job, has a nice car but He's very over weight and drinks a bit too much. He doesn't really go out with friends and doesn't have ANY hobbies except watching football on the weekends. Only events he goes to are ones thrown by my Mom's family since He's still considered a part of the family By my MOM's family and invited to parties, events etc. I don't care for my mom's family, but that's a long story, they havent been very nice to me or my mom in the past. Okay, Before this gets boring to you all , My deal is: How can I tell my dad to BACK OFF a little......I feel like he still treats me like i'm 14 and constantly wants to do things with me. A typical day will include: Getting in to work and getting an email or two from him, he'll call around lunch to say hi, He'll call my cell phone on his way home from work(cuz he'll be stuck in traffic and needs something to do), if he doesn't reach me at lunch he'll call me at home later on. When he talks, he talks for days...about everthing from going to the post office to the supermarket changing the deli section he loved....I just wish he'd , in a nice way, GET A LIFE. he needs to get out and live. I feel like i'm the only thing in his life, but I shouldn't be. It bugs me. I feel bad telling him all the time "Sorry dad, I'm busy this weekend." I know he'd love it if I moved in with him because he's mentioned it before, meaning if things didn't work out with me and my girl. I appreciate him for everything he's ever done for me and I love him very much, he's a nice man and a great dad, he does include my girl to dinner on the weekends and always treats us...I don't Hate him i mean i know some day he wont be around ya know? I tell him i appreciate him AND i TELL HIM i LOVE HIM....But How can I tell him to back off a little bit, without hurting his feelings and sending him into a depression or a drinking binge(which wouldn't be the first time) I wish he had a Lady in his life or someone to take care of him.
HokeyReligions Posted October 30, 2003 Posted October 30, 2003 That's a tough one - I wish I had an easy answer for you. He sounds so lonley. He has NO friends at all? Could you help him to get out and make new friends? Maybe help him have a BBQ or something at his house and invite some friends over - maybe a sport-theme party or something where he can talk about sports with others? Or maybe a divorced mens group or, I don't know - anything that would bring some new people into his space where he could talk with some others? I feel sorry for him, but at the same time I understand your need to move forward with your own life. Does he have a computer at home--I think you mentioned he emails you? Can you get him on-line with some message forums- like this one and/or maybe some message forums with people talking about sports, or divorce, or something that might be relevant to him? That way he doesn't have to leave his house and will still have some interaction with others. That's one of the key reasons I'm here -- I don't have the opportunity to get out amongst them too often and my friends live too far to get together a lot. I like this neighborhood! Just be honest with him, tell him that you love him and don't want to hurt his feelings, but you need some time for your own interests and relationships and besides, if you spend every minute together then you will never have anything new to talk to him about.
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