LAZORSareeverywhere Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Hello all Had my first relasionship - it got f*cked up - wanna make sure it dont happen (at least for the same reasons) again 1. I'm very afraid of rejection and therefore find it hard to initiate romantic/sexual situations. Any tips on how to overcome this? 2. I don't do much, and don't earn much, and so often find myself bored (as my partner did). Any ideas on how to stop this? 3. I hate it when people dont say what they mean, and as far as I can tell women do this A LOT (especially when they have been previously annoyed), how can I learn to deal with this/get my partner to open up? Thanks
hey_beautiful Posted June 18, 2009 Posted June 18, 2009 1. I'm very afraid of rejection and therefore find it hard to initiate romantic/sexual situations. Any tips on how to overcome this? Truly, what I think you need to do is try to make the consequence of initiating romance in your head, and focus on the one thing that could happen. You'll be rejected if the person refuses. I know it's a fear, but is this a big deal? Is someone's rejection going to make your break you? No, it's not. Since that concept is easier said than done, I would just say to give yourself some positive affirmations, like "this will be okay", or "I will not be rejected". Sometimes you just need to knock some sense into yourself that way! 2. I don't do much, and don't earn much, and so often find myself bored (as my partner did). Any ideas on how to stop this? How to stop yourself from being bored? Find a hobby. A hobby can be anything from reading a series of trashy YA books, to blogging about the differences between mac's and pc's. That is a surefire way to cure boredom. Try a new workout routine or something. There are an infinite possibilities of things you can do to entertain yourself. 3. I hate it when people dont say what they mean, and as far as I can tell women do this A LOT (especially when they have been previously annoyed), how can I learn to deal with this/get my partner to open up? When I do this, (a form of passive aggression, in my book) I either really want a person to leave me alone, or for that person to ask questions about how I am feeling. I would appreciate someone trying both and seeing which one gets the best response. Anyway, I think you have to realize that can be the nature of women, sometimes. Don't take it personally. But maybe try what I suggested, and you may be surprised with the response you get. If none of that works, drop it. If she is not responding, chances are she doesn't really want to. A partner will not open up if his or her natural response is to retreat. But you can try and see what happens.
Author LAZORSareeverywhere Posted July 13, 2009 Author Posted July 13, 2009 Thank you for the advice, it's muc appreciated
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