caz83 Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 So I am having the 'NC or not NC' debate with myself (even though I know I have to, but it is just difficult!) Anyway, I never really believed in horoscopes untill we broke up and now I have become a little obsessed with reading them! and over the last few days mine has been scarily accurate, and then today it said this: If you do nothing, will nothing happen? And if you do something, will you get the right result? These are important questions. Sadly, though, they are not easy to answer. Sometimes, even when we do nothing, we get exactly the outcome we were hoping for. Sometimes, too, even when we try very hard, we end up where we didn't want to be. Neither be so passive as to accept whatever you face, nor so active as to drive yourself into a frenzy of determination. Just gently steer the boat of your life so that it catches the right tide. Just thought I would share as it seemed freakishly accurate about the questions I have in my head at the moment. Weird.
Exit Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Yeah it's a fine line to walk. You don't want to try too hard to get someone back but you don't want to appear cold and indifferent either. So many people support the NC theory but depending on your partner's personality I think NC could definitely backfire if used in the wrong situation. If you want to talk to someone, talk. Be casual and lighthearted. If they ask you to stop, respect their wishes. But if you sit there strictly ignoring them, they might think you moved on and start moving on themselves.
Author caz83 Posted June 15, 2009 Author Posted June 15, 2009 Yes, that is the debate I am having with myself!
Exit Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Take it one day at a time instead of deciding how you want to handle it for the next 6 months. Do you need to talk to her today, or do you think she might appreciate having some space from you? If so leave it alone. All you need to worry about is today.
Charmaine_Champagne Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 yep this is exactly my problem i've been strictly NC now for 4months.. and has is got me anywhere?.. not really i'm sick of doing nothing but then if i do something.. could i be causing myself more pain? so what do i do? ahhh roll a dice? toss a coin. i come on here to weigh up my options and always leave thinking ok, NC is the way to go.. but is it actually getting me anywhere?
Author caz83 Posted June 15, 2009 Author Posted June 15, 2009 I know. I always like being proactive so the thought of doing 'nothing' goes against everything I naturally want to do! But maybe I need to start to think of doing NC as being proactive. But the thing I want to achieve is for him to come back. So will 'doing nothing' achieve this? (yes I know NC is meant to be about healing, but I am using it to try and get him to miss me and Im not going to lie and pretend thats not what Im doing!)
Exit Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 NC is just an idea guys. If you don't think it's working for you, then try something else. Obviously you can't talk to the person if they told you to leave them the hell alone, but if you decided to do NC on your own, you can also decide to break it. I decided to talk to my ex this weekend and ask her to talk and I'm supposed to see her tomorrow. I'm not sitting here killing myself over breaking NC. She will probably still say no tomorrow and I will have my answer.
Enema Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Horoscopes are written with pieces of vague information that will seem "scarily accurate" for almost anyone who reads them. Humans have a predisposition to see patterns and self-interest in many things. Here's a great video that shows how gullible and self centered we can be:
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