LAZORSareeverywhere Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Hey there everyone, first time poster here I'm looking for some advice on how to control the thoughts in your head. Basically I started up my first real relasionship a few years ago. It wasnt the best, she cheated, and hit me, both of us too shy to enjoy the little sex we had. And after a year and a half of this we both decided it wasnt working. We decided to stay friends and we saw each other a couple of times a week, with a few drunken kisses. Anyway, it hurt, alot, but things got a little easier, I could tell I was making progress. Until one day when I saw her she told me that she had met a new guy who she was developing feelings for. Which just erased all the progress I've made, now everything reminds me of how quickly she moved on, my head's full of petty jealousys and I can't find anything to take solace in. I've cut off all contact now (much to her chagrin) and am doing my best to keep all thoughts of her and the new guy out of my head. But with having mutual friends I can't help but hear snippets of her new life/man. I know were not getting back together, I know things could never work between us, but I still love her, and fell incredibly jealous. Sometimes I can deal with this and keep happy. But sometimes I feel like throwing myself in front of a train. I was just wondering if anybody had any tips on how to deal with, reduce and hopefully erase those times. Thanks
andy2009 Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 I would say you should not contact her, means NC in strict way.
Cinnamon777 Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 The best advice I can give you about controlling the thoughts in your head is more to distract them. The more you try to "control" the less it actually works. Let it go... when you start thinking about her, acknowledge the thoughts, then refocus on something else. It's a little easier said than done... but with practice it will get easier. Also, start doing something new for yourself. Go to the gym. Join a group that interests you. Spend more time with friends or family. Take up a new hobby, something challenging that you will need to practice and will take up some of your time. There are so many opportunities for you to distract your brain, to take care of yourself, to learn something new. Before long you will start to realize that you are doing ok and someone new will come into your life - someone who will not cheat on you... who will not hit you... who will love and embrace you wholeheartedly. Big Hugs to you...
Author LAZORSareeverywhere Posted June 17, 2009 Author Posted June 17, 2009 Thanks, you've been really helpful
on edge Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 For your own sanity, distance yourself from her. And do not contact her. From the way you describe it, your relationship sounded really disfunctional. You deserve better.
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