ChitchBabyx Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 This might be abit of an essay but i need some help and someone to talk to because i no some of you might have been thru the same thing..this is my story I am 17 been in a relationship for 2 & half years now my Other half is 20, he is so kind & loves me to bits..but in the long run a **** boyfriend I am from a wealthy family & he isnt not saying i find this a problem because i DONT...he does, he doesnt come to my house because he thinks my parents wont approve of me going out with him...they have met him and my mum loves him but he doesnt see this. Also he has no job which affects our relationship. We dont go out never! we have been out about 3 times since being with each other and ive paid!! Since being with him i have lost so many friends from school! I havent been out once because he doesnt trust me because i have loads of "boy" friends. Anyway i have been going out alot lately without him knowing! And i am loveing every minute of it, i have got some friends back and i am seeing my best friend more! But this is making me feel like...can i do better? i have told him how i feel about our relationship and hes trying to make things better but i dont see the difference. This is a quick sentance so you know what he is like.... Hes 20..lives with his mum..has no job (but is "trying" to get one)..smokes like a chimney..out of all niceness he has 3 friends and to put it bluntly he is a low life! and i mean that in the nicest way! He moved to where i live about 3 years ago and was new so he didnt make many friends... He loves me sooo much and i no he does and ive tried to split up with him a couple of times in the last few weeks and i cant do it i get so emotionally black mailed by him and he cried and says loads of things and then i get thinking can i live without him ? i try not to do it but i cant help it...im so confused with my feelings! 2 years is alot to chuck away! .. I no what everyone is going to say..if your not happy finish it...yeah its REALLY NOT THAT EASY Im to much of a nice person to hurt someone like that...if i left him he would have nothing literally! and i still care about him thats the thing but i dont want to be with him but then i feel like i need to be with him i just need to be a normal teenager and go out and have fun Someone please help me
NiceGuy4Ever Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Okay as for you saying you're a nice person, trust me you can break this up. I had one of the nicest girlfriends ever, she Loved me to death and she was scared when she made her decision to break up with me and she still went ahead with it. Did it hurt? Of course it did. Did I cry? Yes that's what men should do from time to time. Did I hang on to the hope of coming back together? You can bet yourself I did. Have I moved on? Yes I finally have. This all happened recently. You are young and intitled to have fun because it becomes more rare that you do it as and adult which is why it's important to have fun now! If this guy is a low life as you put it and ISN'T doing anything to change the situation after all this time you've been with him, what makes you think he'll change? He won't. He needs to sort his life out and you need to focus on your future. I, personally, see him as a brick weighing you down that you feel you can't let go. You should. Letting go is something you need to learn in life and it's better to do it now than later when it will be harder. I think it'll be better for you and give him the straight reasons WHY you are breaking up. Treasure you're friends and best friends more than any boyfriend because boyfriends (as well as girlfriends) come and go but you're friends are always going to be there for you as well as your family. Just think "Who is more important here?" Him or you? You are because you're young and are growing in the ever changing cycle of life. You are going to find you are going to need you friends in the long run. Let him go and be happy. That's what's important. Your happiness. Hope this helps.
Exit Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Being a "nice person" is not about staying with someone who you don't want to be with. As much as he might cry and beg, you have to understand that you are doing the best thing for him by letting him go. If you stay with him now, when WILL you leave? You say he has nothing, so maybe you'll wait until he finds a job or gets some friends, and then you'll leave? That's not any better. He'll feel like finally his life is coming together and then you walk out on him. If you consider yourself a nice person you really need to think about what the nice thing to do is. It's not nice to lead someone on. You are 17 and he is 20. You will both survive.
boogieboy Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 If youre too nice and afraid to break up with him, and you wanna make it all about him instead of you, then stay with him.
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