Michael Daigwood Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 My girlfriend(30) and I(30 as well) have been dating for a year and half. I met her two months after my ex wife and I separated. Generally we get along pretty good. Best sex I've ever had, as well as a good friend and lover. But she has some hang ups. The other night we had gotten back to her moms house from the bar and somehow or another she got on the topic of how she isn't worthy of having my kids, but my ex was. My ex and I have a five year old together. I tried to roll over in bed while saying something like, "that's not true, I don't want any more kids right now because I can't afford anymore". Then she continued into me about it. So I got up and said I was leaving. I wasn't going to listen to this. It was late, both of us had been drinking and I was tired and didn't want a fight. She jumped up and chased me out the front door naked, coaxing me back inside. Once back inside she started bitching at me again and I said I was leaving. But she wouldn't let me leave. She was standing in front of her bedroom door blocking it. I didn't want to be physical with her, so I only yelled back. Telling her to move because I was leaving and she can't trap me here. About ten minutes goes by of this and by now her mother is up (it's 3Am) and I'm telling her mom, to help get me out of here. Her mom is yelling at her telling her she can't keep me in there against my will and telling her she is acting crazy. Finally at some point I managed to get to the door knob and begin to open it even with her full body weight against it, her mom on the other side pushing as well to try and get me out. I managed to squeak through and run to the front door, but she jumped on me from behind grabbing my sweatshirt, pulling it over my head and digging her finger nails into the back of my neck. The entire time she's crying for me to stay and her mom trying to pull her away from me. Finally I get out the front door, jump the bush and get to my car where I promptly get in and take off. That was Saturday night. All day Sunday she tried calling and emailing me. Today she's emailed me twice. She's been apologizing and saying that will never happen again. Well that was the second time it has happened. The first time it had her pulling her own hair out but otherwise wasn't nearly as dramatic. You'd think from my description that I am describing some raving lunatic. But otherwise she's been one the sweetest girlfriends I've ever had. Very caring, always there, extremely loyal, ect. My only other real issue with her is that she doesn't have a job. She's had about four in the time we've been together. None of them lasting longer then a month. She's gotten fired from two and quick the other two for various reasons. I've pretty much lost hope that she may ever get a job and stick with it. In the mean time it every time we go anywhere or do anything I always have pay. I don't have a problem with that for the first month of a relationship, but a year and half in, I'd expect she can pay her own way or we could trade off or something. I do have child support, taxes, rent, auto, ect I have to pay for and have found myself living paycheck to paycheck. I know of all of this sound pretty bad, but part of me does love her for her sweet side. I feel like I'm losing a good friend and a great lover. I'm perplexed. I don't know if I should give her a second chance or keep on walking.
stace79 Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Sounds eerily like Borderline Personality Disorder. She needs therapy if it's that. It's not incurable and she can definitely improve. http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/borderline-personality-disorder-fact-sheet/index.shtml As for the job thing, that may be more of the deal breaker. If she isn't able to get or keep a job, that's a big problem for you. I would only give her a second chance if she agreed to see a counselor for her freaking out issue.
mark982 Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 micheal,run like your azz is on fire. ladies nuts,she don't wanna lose you cause you're her sugar daddy right now. she attacked you(bad move),one of these days she's going to mark herself up and call the cops saying you did it.even her mom knows she's crazy. also look at her work history,no stability there
hoping2heal Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 micheal,run like your azz is on fire. ladies nuts,she don't wanna lose you cause you're her sugar daddy right now. she attacked you(bad move),one of these days she's going to mark herself up and call the cops saying you did it.even her mom knows she's crazy. also look at her work history,no stability there I hadn't even read the thread yet, but I saw the first line of this, and laughed so hard. This is hilarious .
hopesndreams Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 The other night we had gotten back to her moms house from the bar and somehow or another she got on the topic of how she isn't worthy of having my kids, but my ex was. You both were drunk and it brought out her insecurities. Did you mention, before this incident, that you didn't want to have children with her? The drinking brought out her jealously of your ex, she was good enough to have your children and she felt she wasn't. There could have been a way for you to calm her down but you chose the path of running away, which brought out her anger. That was Saturday night. All day Sunday she tried calling and emailing me. Today she's emailed me twice. She's been apologizing and saying that will never happen again. You didn't respond to her emails or calling? Why not? She can't handle the booze, woke up sick and scared and was apologetic and you chose to do nothing? I don't think you are looking for a second chance with her otherwise you would have been in contact with her. but part of me does love her for her sweet side. Just a part of you loving her just isn't enough. Let her go, gently, and make sure she hasn't had a few when you do break things off. Incidents that you have described will only continue and you can't face them and try to make the relationship better, you run out the door, causing a huge scene with her mother around.
Surfer Dude Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 Try to see the pattern here. She gets fired or quits jobs very often. She is prone to causing drama and starting physical fights. Dude, she is a major freak. It's bad now and as time passes it will only get worse. Not only will she try to OWN you and absorb your value, but she will systematically make your life miserable until you decide to dump her. The thing with crazy people (men or women, regardless) is that they manage to hide their true nature for as long as they don't suck you into a relationship you can't back out of, due to either legal contract or emotional investment. If I were you, I'd dump her without thinking twice. The girl has some major issues, and she's probably borderline or histrionic. Don't waste your life on such people. You wouldn't believe how many great and amazing women are out there.
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