outbackmac Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Three weeks ago, I let my ex know that I was making a trip back to the states for the fourth of July (we had not been in contact for nearly a year and a half). A week later, I received an email back saying that she is planning to see her parents for the holiday, but asking which dates exactly I will be in town. I write back letting her know what my plans are and inquire how she is doing. Today I received a short message back letting me know that she is doing well, but is extremely busy with work. However, if I have an hour or so… it would be nice to get a coffee together, and that I should call her when I’m back in the US. She also proceeded to give me her number… something that though I deleted long ago I would never forget. Is she likely just being polite, as I only travel home once or twice a year. Or might she be trying to re-evaluate to see if things have changed and we could possibly take a few steps forward. I am clearly hoping it is the later, but don’t want to get my hopes up.
Leveller Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 It is possible she just sees no harm in meeting up and is curious. Enough time has passed now so my advice would be to keep and open mind and take things slowly...
Author outbackmac Posted June 15, 2009 Author Posted June 15, 2009 Thats more or less what I'm hoping. I am no longer the same person I was two years ago, but in the same respect neither is she. Hopefully the changes due to time and choice will be enough that when meet we can get to know each other once again without our past causing too much interference. However if things do go the way I hope, the biggest issue will be that I now live 15,000 miles away... not quite sure how to get over that hurdle. I have no intention of returning just for her
Ronni_W Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 However if things do go the way I hope, the biggest issue will be that I now live 15,000 miles away... not quite sure how to get over that hurdle. I have no intention of returning just for her Just in case you hadn't notices, that is ALREADY you having gotten your hopes up! The only cure, as far as I can see, is from now until the Fourth of July to repeat this mantra whenever you do feel the urge to wonder what it all means: She is just being nice, She is just being polite, She is just being nice. Because, she is just being polite and nice! It's a year-and-a-half later. You are coming in from 15,000 miles away and she is giving you ONE HOUR. That's her being polite, fitting you into her busy schedule. That's not her being interested in exploring changes due to time and choice. PLEASE do not do this to your psyche. She is just being nice and polite.
BCCA Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 I'm with Ronni, youre getting too far ahead of yourself, and are asking for dissapointment. Consider the fact that she made no efforts to initially contact you, took a week to respond, and only offered up an hour. To me, that doesnt look at all like something she would do if she was reconsidering. She would have been falling all over herself to see you if she was doing more than being nice. I'm almost thinking you shouldnt go at all. I think youre setting yourself up for dissapointment.
Author outbackmac Posted June 16, 2009 Author Posted June 16, 2009 Thanks guys, your right. I am definitely setting myself up for disappointment. However, I don't really think not going is an option. The what ifs would bother me far more than rejection. I've made it almost two years without her... worst case scenario, I'm right back where I am now. Except maybe I wont be getting an occasional email. Besides I have been in several short relationships since then, and I know that when I'm with someone else I don't think about her. So I know I can move on.
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