LovieDove24 Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 As a single gal I never really understood why so many people in LDR's were complaining. I was always like, "Well at least you have someone who love's you, right? So whats the problem?" Well my opinion of things has changed considerably since just two nights ago. I know its going to sound terribly silly but I met someone while out with my girlfriends the other night and he was the most sweet, nice, and amazing guy I've met in a very long time, actually ever. He and I ended up talking for four hours straight at the bar and we ended up going home to talk more and we cuddled all night. The way he looked at me, and the way he held me felt so right. He was terribly sweet and I couldn't stop thinking, after all these years of dating men who were jerks or just didn't "fit", this just feels like how I always imagined it should. So what's the problem you're probably wondering? Well, he was only here in the states visiting on vacation, and he lives in London . I was very upset by the news. Especially because I met him on the second to last day of him being here, so no other chances for a meetup. It's only been a couple of days so the butterflies haven't had a chance to settle. But I can't help but being sad. Why does it have to be my luck I find the perfect man for me but he lives thousands of miles away? I gave him my email address, he said he'd love to stay in touch. But emotionally, I'm not sure what to prepare myself for? Probably nothing...right?
carhill Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Generally, out of sight, out of mind, at least until intimacy develops. I've experienced the long-distance and/or unrequited thing enough to recognize the signs. Unless one or both of you is willing to make a proactive effort, I suspect nothing will come of it. This is why, when I sense a connection and/or mutual interest, I just say "perhaps my next mileage run can be to xxxx (where they live)". If the response is positive, well maybe another friendship (or more) can begin. If you think of the world as a small place and are not intimidated by distance as a negative thing, and the other person feels likewise, anything is possible
Author LovieDove24 Posted June 17, 2009 Author Posted June 17, 2009 Thanks Carhill, if you remember me from previous posts then you know I also know a thing or two about unrequited love . First time with the long distance thing though. It has been five days and I presume he is now just arriving home or settling back into his routine of things...also probably sleeping off some serious jet lag. I have thought about him a lot already and decided I will hope for the best, but also presume that if nothing else can be gained from that night I can say I met someone who reminded me NEVER to lower my standards. Kind of a cool thing to know that someone like him is really out there. After putting myself out there on the dating scene A LOT lately I know what a rare thing both connection and RECIPROCITY are. As for now, I'll keep checking my email and keep you guys posted!
carhill Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 Oh, BTW, when I stated intimacy, I didn't mean sex, rather an intimate and honest sharing of one to another emotionally. Keep us posted!
Els Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 Heh, tell me about it. Three guys in my life so far, one started off as LDR, one started off ITR and became LDR, one was a local friend but we started off when we were LD. There were quite a few local ones (who are still around now, after years!) who were interested but they unfortunately weren't my type. It seems to be my destiny. All the best, I'd echo carhill's suggestion to take it slow til a second meeting develops at least.
Trialbyfire Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 I wouldn't wish an LDR on my worst enemy. If you can avoid it, don't do it!!!
Els Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 See, the unfortunate thing is that we CAN all avoid it -- we can all choose not to be with the person and thus avoid the LDR. I guess a better way to put it would be, only do it if you really think it's worth it.
Author LovieDove24 Posted June 17, 2009 Author Posted June 17, 2009 You're right Elswyth, it is avoidable by all parties. Actually probably more so than people who meet in "normal" conditions where they have the chance to run into their SO in public or see little reminders of time spent together around their neighborhood. These types of couplesl share friends in common and no doubt family is involved somehow. When they split, the option of out of sight out of mind isn't quite as easy. I feel like LDR's do have a bit of edge on the competition in that respect. It is easier to leave if things go south. But it does seem possible to make one work. What if this man I met was as surprised and delighted to meet someone like me as I was? What if he had all but given up on the dating world and was ready and comfortable to live a solitary lifestyle as I was when we met? I have to agree with Elswyth: if two people realize the effort is worth it, and realize what a rarity real love is, I think it can work. Those are all merely my opinions on LTR's. I am not trying to romanticize or project my feelings into my current situaion. I will most definitely take things slow if anything develops. So far, no email yet. I can't remember if he said he was leaving tuesday or getting home tuesday? So either way I'm gonna give it another few days til I call it a wonderful night and rejuvination of spirit...and nothing more.
Els Posted June 18, 2009 Posted June 18, 2009 All the best then, LovieDove. Hope it works out well for you.
Author LovieDove24 Posted June 22, 2009 Author Posted June 22, 2009 Grrr why didn't I get HIS email address...still no word.
ratingsguy Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 Did you get his full name? He might just be a Google search away.
Author LovieDove24 Posted June 23, 2009 Author Posted June 23, 2009 No, dang it. I just know his name is Andy from England Lol. I feel so silly for actually being worked up about this. After all, it was only one night--and the odds are against us--but connections like that don't just come around very often. You know maybe its my karma for blowing off a guy recently who smoked like a chimney on our first date. He called me a few times after and I never picked up. So I think I'm gonna give him a call and explain my disappearance in hopes to boost my good karma Lol.
subdued Posted June 29, 2009 Posted June 29, 2009 How do you know this great and wonderful guy wasn't married?
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