Juno Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 ...did I do the right thing? Basically I am horrible at nc. I tried and could go for several weeks, then when he contacts me, I chat him up under the pretense of being a friend. The last time we chatted he told me he started to see someone else, told me he missed me, and have even texted me pics. The conversation ended on what appeared to be a good note, but I was so deeply hurt on the inside. I decided since I always get excited to hear from him, it would be best not to hear from him, so I blocked both his cell and home phone numbers from my cell. Now I have absolutely no expectation of ever hearing from him again, and the blocking works both ways...I can not call him either. Now I'm questioning if this was the right path to take. I wish I could have just been strong enough to ignore him and stick to no contact. It is not my intent to get a response out of him by blocking him, or to piss him off. I'm just so weak with nc. Was it a bad idea to block him?
desertsun09 Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 It was a great idea. Especially if he is now seeing someone else. That is too painful to hear and you cannot put yourself through such torture. You did a smart thing and you should be proud of yourself for doing so. Good for you!
hopesndreams Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 You do what you have to do. You don't need to hear his bullcrap anymore about dating others, missing you and getting his piccies. It just opens the wounds and gives you false hope. You will never heal if you know his business. You know this, that's why you did what you did. Good job! Now when your phone rings there is no anticipation of it being him. If he misses you so dang much he knows where you live and by the time that happens, you would have healed and moved on.
Author Juno Posted June 17, 2009 Author Posted June 17, 2009 ..."Got the hint, stuff in the mail." I was actually shaking when I saw I had 1 unread message in the folder I created for him. Of course I will not respond, and I think he really didn't have to send an email to state what he did. Don't want to read too much into it, but I think he was looking for a reaction...what do you think? Still so very sad and hurt. I did not want it this way, and would do anything to be with him, but I have to protect my heart and heal. My life is a mess and I need to focus on making it better, not on him.
TaraMaiden Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 Well, it was short and sweet, and he let you know two things: One, he has posted your things. Two - he's not been getting responses to other communications he might have sent you, so it's obvious he's acceeding to your actions at blocking him off. Which actually, is good. You did absolutely the right thing, and now, you need to heal. It's good that he got the hint. Hopefully, he'll keep it up and stay away.
Author Juno Posted June 19, 2009 Author Posted June 19, 2009 Now he has blocked/deleted me from his instant messenger...as if I was the one making constant contact.
Exit Posted June 19, 2009 Posted June 19, 2009 Now he has blocked/deleted me from his instant messenger...as if I was the one making constant contact. No, he's not implying you were the one making constant contact, he just did it out of spite because you blocked his phone. You should have done that before he did anyway. Why block him from your phone but allow another avenue of communication to remain open.
nature Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 Juno, you did the RIGHT THING!!! Believe me!!! Do not react to him doing the same thing. He's just pissed that he's not getting his way....in otherwards, you are not allowing him to have his cake and eat it too. He's been loving the ego stroke. And you are now taking it away from him. Sillyness.
frownyface42 Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 i recently did the same thing... she moved out to NYC and i went to Colorado... we started talking on the phone every few weeks which was great, i felt like we were reconnecting. she would tell me how much i would love NYC, she would tell me to watch a movie (Definitely, Maybe) and tell me thats how she envisions her life (except for the divorce part, she said she would change that part). so to get to the point, she invited me to come visit her in NYC and i guess my hopes were higher than they should have been. the second night there she told me she was seeing someone (why she invited me out there is beyond me). she told me when we were both pretty drunk and we got in a big fight. so i dealt with this for the next few days while i was there and when i left i send her an email saying we cannot talk anymore and that i've blocked her on my phone because i will always want to be back with her and talking to her just makes me want it even more. i even blocked her emails so they get deleted right away. it feels good, feels good i know she can't call (unless she blocks her # or calls from some other phone, which still makes me want her to call me) but for now its over and i find happiness in that, but i do miss her terribly... its been 10 days since i left NYC...
Author Juno Posted June 24, 2009 Author Posted June 24, 2009 ...it's been over a week and I still have not recieved my stuff in the mail. I think he's just holding on to my things to piss me off or to use as a reason to to contact me or to have me contact him. I won't contact him ever again. He can keep it all. Am I rushing to judgment? Should I give him more time?
boogieboy Posted June 24, 2009 Posted June 24, 2009 ...it's been over a week and I still have not recieved my stuff in the mail. I think he's just holding on to my things to piss me off or to use as a reason to to contact me or to have me contact him. I won't contact him ever again. He can keep it all. Am I rushing to judgment? Should I give him more time? Nah youre right, its classic behavior of him using your stuff to make you contact him. If youre not going to contact him, and you dont need the stuff, dont worry bout it. Either he'll eventually send the stuff back, or he'll throw it out, not your worry.
wow123 Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 I learned a long time ago not to even bother getting my stuff back. Unless they have one of my watches, my flat screen tv, my car, or my laptop...they can keep it.
asuman Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 I learned a long time ago not to even bother getting my stuff back. Unless they have one of my watches, my flat screen tv, my car, or my laptop...they can keep it. Bingo. For most people, "getting my stuff back" is just an excuse to prolong contact with the other person and draw out the drama. I've never been one to do this but I've had more than one exgirlfriend who did, and it's annoying. I had one ex who emailed me to demand that I let her into my house so she could pick up "her" barstools. Um, they're my barstools, that I bought a few years ago. No, she insisted, they were HERS and her mom gave them to her. I just gave them up, to shut her up.
BCCA Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 I learned a long time ago not to even bother getting my stuff back. Unless they have one of my watches, my flat screen tv, my car, or my laptop...they can keep it. I feel the same way. Juno, he's just pissed because he doesnt get to have his cake and eat it, too. Its funny how people just have no problem being selfish as can be, and when you put a stop to it, YOU become the bad guy. Whatever, thats his deal. You did the absolute right thing, it was the only way. At least he got the hint. Do NOT unblock any of these things, ever. Leave it alone.
asuman Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 By the way... how do you even block someone from your cellphone? I didn't know you could do that.
Author Juno Posted June 25, 2009 Author Posted June 25, 2009 By the way... how do you even block someone from your cellphone? I didn't know you could do that. Tehehe. It was not easy. It depends on the type of cell phone you have and your cellular service provider. I actually had to add this option to my plan @ an additional $5.00 per month. It's meant to be used as a parental control to keep your kid from making calls to certain #s and to restrict them from receiving calls from certain #s. I was so desperate to stop the unsolicited calls, texts, and ummm...risque images that I just added it to my plan.
boogieboy Posted June 25, 2009 Posted June 25, 2009 By the way... how do you even block someone from your cellphone? I didn't know you could do that. Yeah but Asuman, you only need it if you cannot resist answering calls and texs from your ex. If you have no desire to answer when they call, then you dont need to do this.
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