WhyYesThankYou Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Hi, everyone. I did something unusual (for me) recently and put an ad online saying I'm going to be in this particular city for a weekend (I'll be there for work) and would like to meet up with someone for some fun. I wasn't really expecting too much to come out of it, at best was hoping to weed through sleazy scary replies to find someone to have some drinks with and see where the night leads. Well, I got one guy sending me some nice emails - short, friendly, flirtatious but not graphic or "weird." He wanted a pic, so I sent him one, and he sent me one, and he's asking "real" questions like what my hobbies are, following up on things I've mentioned casually... Now, I know it's only been a few emails, but he seems like an "okay" guy. My issue is that I'm not sure what he wants. In my last email, I told him that I appreciated his being interested in me, but that if he's just thinking about meeting up with me for some fun that weekend, I'd rather keep personal info to a minimum. Or if he's interested in getting to know me more, I'll answer his questions and will ask some of him, too. He's replied with:I don't really know how to answer your question about what I would like... You know, you seem very friendly, so it's nice to just have a chat, but a bit of fun .. seems... fun ... so hard to say. I guess I'm just enjoying a chat; if you want to answer things, you can, and if not, that's alright too. Ball is in your court ... Now what does that mean? Does it sound like he's interested in meeting up with me? And if so, does it sound more like he wants a hook-up or a "date" (by which I mean exchanging actual personal ideas and information rather than just heading to the nearest hotel room)? Or is he just online to exchange some emails for fun? What reading are you getting from his reply? And what should I do to see if he actually wants to meet up? Should I leave the actual, "Want to meet up" asking to him, since he's the guy, or do I ask him since I'm the one who posted the ad? Cheers...
SoulSearch_CO Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 I dabbled a bit with AFF a year ago. And I had several that acted "interested." I think it's how they figure to get a girl "turned on," meaning...like, interested, or something. A way to get them to open up and feel okay with the idea of sex with a stranger. But yeah, they'd ask about all kinds of things. Your ad sounded like a request for a hook-up, so I would assume that's what he's interested in unless he outright says otherwise. And I would think it'd be your job to suggest a time/place since you placed the ad. Meaning, it's not BAD if he asks first, but I wouldn't wait around for it, or expect it.
Jilly Bean Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 He's looking for sex, but then again, so were you. Women don't post ads online to find a "date" when in town for a weekend, that doesn't involve booty. It was pretty much implied...
Author WhyYesThankYou Posted June 15, 2009 Author Posted June 15, 2009 Okay - so the usual rules of "if the guy's interested, he'll ask you out" don't apply if you're a girl and have posted online for a random meet-up? That makes sense... but given my track record of expressing interest first and having it Not Work Out, I think I might try hinting strongly that I'd like to meet with him and see if I get a bite first. Also, is it too early to be making a time now? It'll be another 2.5 weeks before I'm town there. Should I email with him a bit more, or aim for making a time now?
Jilly Bean Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Is hooking up with strangers while you are on a business trip really what you want to spending your energy on? I would think finding casual sex would feel safer in your own town.
Author WhyYesThankYou Posted June 15, 2009 Author Posted June 15, 2009 "Casual sex" is a bit of a foreign concept to me anyway. Am still not sure if I could/would go through with it. But this guy seems kind of low-key, friendly, unlikely to rape/kill/dismember me, so... And in terms of geography, the place where I live is too small to have anonymous casual sex. I'd likely run into the guy at the grocery store the next day. But the place I'm going for work is a bigger city; I actually lived there myself a few years ago, so it's not entirely uncharted territory. Could conceivably have some fun and make a clean break if the guy turns out to be a freak and/or there's nothing to continue after the weekend.
mogul Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 He's replied with:I don't really know how to answer your question about what I would like... You know, you seem very friendly, so it's nice to just have a chat, but a bit of fun .. seems... fun ... so hard to say. I guess I'm just enjoying a chat; if you want to answer things, you can, and if not, that's alright too. Ball is in your court ... WOW, this guy good. He answered your question perfectly. I don't even think i could of came up with something that good...
Bejita463 Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 WOW, this guy good. He answered your question perfectly. I don't even think i could of came up with something that good... That was good?
lab_brat Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 "Casual sex" is a bit of a foreign concept to me anyway. Am still not sure if I could/would go through with it. But this guy seems kind of low-key, friendly, unlikely to rape/kill/dismember me... Coz in the pic he sent he wasn't holding a bloody hatchet and making crazy eyes with a suspicious pile of body-shaped garbage bags next to him? Funny that... Please be really really careful, because you just never know who'll you'll get. But in response to original q, i'd say its a hookup, not a date, so i wouldn't wait for him to ask when/where.
Author WhyYesThankYou Posted June 15, 2009 Author Posted June 15, 2009 Coz in the pic he sent he wasn't holding a bloody hatchet and making crazy eyes with a suspicious pile of body-shaped garbage bags next to him? Funny that... Of course not, don't be silly. His pic was really nice; he was holding the Certificate of Attendance he got for going to the anger-management course that was part of his parole conditions. Seriously - I take your point about safety and about how craziness, like carbon monoxide, can be virtually undetectable until it's too late. So - is two weeks too far in advance to make more concrete plans for a hook-up? Should I just keep chatting, see if his photos DO start looking like they were taken on the set of a horror movie, and ask him to meet up closer to the time? Or ask now?
loveslife Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Of course not, don't be silly. His pic was really nice; he was holding the Certificate of Attendance he got for going to the anger-management course that was part of his parole conditions. Seriously, I just about choked on my drink. Good answer!!! So - is two weeks too far in advance to make more concrete plans for a hook-up? Should I just keep chatting, see if his photos DO start looking like they were taken on the set of a horror movie, and ask him to meet up closer to the time? Or ask now? I'd say to wait. Two and a half weeks is a long time. You might find something (or someone) you'd rather do in between now and then. Or he could reveal something that makes you change your mind about meeting him.
lab_brat Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 Of course not, don't be silly. His pic was really nice; he was holding the Certificate of Attendance he got for going to the anger-management course that was part of his parole conditions. Seriously - I take your point about safety and about how craziness, like carbon monoxide, can be virtually undetectable until it's too late. ROFLOL, awesome
Recommended Posts