charleyangel90 Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 i really liked my ex. i dont know if im in love with him, but what i feel is real. i do love him on some level. i feel passionately about him. we honestly didnt "last" as a couple for too long, but i fell fast into him. i think one of the reasons im really into him is because hes all i ever known... which is everything, since he was my first boyfriend. we broke up 2 times. the last time i ended it. then we "fooled around" with eachother for months afterwards, which wasnt anything too serious because i was away at school so we couldnt get to eachother, but it was like we were together. then i had to take a break from him because things werent going right. he wasnt trying to commit. he said we were just friends, but sent me mixed signals for the longest time, which really broke my heart. when we started talking again, i decided that sex wasnt a good idea. so for the last 6 months, ive been trying for the life of me for us to be friends. its so hard, but i still have feelings, and im sure he does, but i dont know to the extent what they are. its been a year since we've broken up. he brings up a lot of the past things. the mere mention of him bringing it up so often makes me think that he hasnt moved on. he knows the dates of the things that happened between us. he makes jokes about things or we discuss our relationship, which i dont like to normally talk about because its stressful to relive that. talking about our relationship has no purpose for me. he once told me it was hard for him to speak to me because he catches feelings for me. i just dont know what to do. im definitely not telling you guys the whole story. he has a lot of **** with him. i know he isnt ready to settle, but why the mixed signals? i dont get his undivided attention. now we go through days, which turn into weeks without us talking. i get the feeling that one of us is waiting for the other "jump" if you will. i guess we want to show our indifference, or does he not really care?... he's use to me. he always knows im gonna be there and i dont want him to think that ill always be around. i want to move on. we arent real "friends", he treats me differently. he acts like he doesn`t care. he doesnt make any kind of effort, which i admit, i make it very easy for him. i just want to spark his interest again and i dont know how to do that or why i even care because to date him again, i feel like i would be taking a step back. & he hurt me so bad ... but this hurts so bad. we openly discuss with eachother our interests in other people, but he hides a lot of things from me, while im completely open with him. i don't know what to think. i know he's had sex with other girls because he's told me about it. what does he keep me around for then? its been 6 months? we're not even having sex, kissing, or even talking about sex with eachother, or anything like that, so why does he do this to me? it's like this awkward tension between us. it's almost like if i show too much emotion, he backs off. it's like this little dance we go through. he shows me or tries to tell me subtle things and i don't respond, but when i do too much, he kind of disappears. so i back off for a bit, but i want to get to a day where i will wake up, and just not care about him anymore. i just want to be his friend, but now i feel like i should hurt him. im just so confused. he has a younger sister and she use to let somethings slip out, like she asked me was it true that him and i were getting back together and i heard nothing about it even though this was a couple of months back. please help me out. im sorry this is so long. i just want to be exciting and give him a challenge again! or is he just stringing me along? he complains to me that other girls are boring to him and that no one holds his interest for too long. we when stopped talking he was so depressed but when i came back into his life, everything changed.
NiceGuy4Ever Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Well to simply wake up one day and have no feeling for him you must have to do one hard thing. BREAK ALL CONTACT. It hurts, it's hard, and it sucks but it helps so much. You still having contact with him is what's stopped you from healing. He seems to be keeping you hanging by a string and I really think you'd be better without him. You probably think about him a lot but why don't you focus your energies to new hobbies, new friends etc. Hide all the thing that remind you of him away in a box. Once you heal you can probably go back to being friends but breaking contact is a must. Hope this helps.
pinkbubbles Posted June 27, 2009 Posted June 27, 2009 Ya I agree brake all contact for a good long while. If he really wanted to be with you he would have told you by now. When guys really want to be with someone they will do something in order to make that happen. I think that he likes having you around as a friend and I also think that sometimes he pushes away b/c he prob freaks out a little b/c he thinks u still have feelings for him .
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