LostInLimbo Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 I have had so much great advice on here, NC is great, but don't do what I did.... Here's where I am at, the last text I rec'd was from my Ex (because I have been NC for awhile, if ppl have read my other posts, you will know where I have been and where I am at), was "N when u know what you want, let me know" which was Friday Night, I had the urge to text her, but what I have been doing all this time is sending the text message urges to my female friend, as to help me stop sending them to the Ex. the problem I ran into, was I messed up, I ended up sending a text saying "Thats what the councellor is for" (which was explained im my previous posts we were suppose to see together for the first time after our breakup, thats in a week)to the Ex by accident, because they both have very similar numbers (2 last digits reversed order) and no names attached to them on my contact list, so I guess I messed up huh?, my Ex only replied "Good Morning", guess my biggest fault was not erasing her number, which I did right after that, and feel its best to keep my Cell off. I kinda feel as though she is going to think ha, he showed weakness, which I feel as the great advice in here may have been for nothing, but I am going back on NC, with more caution this time.. (Sorry For Double Post) TY LiL
wow123 Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 Do you want her back? "Text me when you know what you want" certainly sounds like she is interested in getting back together. And then a "good morning". She definitely still has feelings for you man.
Author LostInLimbo Posted June 14, 2009 Author Posted June 14, 2009 Hi WOW, thanks, she is the type of girl who still needs to know your still around....as we haven't seen each other more then 2 weeks ago (when I broke NC, that was a disaster) but I stopped replying and she had text me back then, saying "hey text me once in awhile, just to say hey" that to me wasn't somebody who wanted to work it out, as how I took it, if she did, we would have connected and met again, but I know what your saying....thats why I am messed, I have followed the NC rule as because when I didn't I would reply, then not hear back anything for a while (sometime days), its almost like she has to be in control, so I have reversed it and have had different results... TY for the help....and taking time to read my post
wow123 Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 I wish I was in your shoes with my ex. I would text her back and tell her that texting and calling isnt doing us any good. I know what I want. If you want to get together to talk let me know. That puts you in control of the situation.
Cloudberry Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 So, you say you are officially broken up but you are going to go to counseling in a week? Together? Or did I misunderstand... Anyway, you're doing pretty good at not contacting her too much. NC is a general guideline, not a strict rule.
Author LostInLimbo Posted June 14, 2009 Author Posted June 14, 2009 So, you say you are officially broken up but you are going to go to counseling in a week? Together? Or did I misunderstand... Anyway, you're doing pretty good at not contacting her too much. NC is a general guideline, not a strict rule. Hi Cloud, thats what was set just after we had broken up, I had decided to go on my own and she knew that, just until recently she said I will see you there..make more sense? I have been in NC for a bit now, broke that sometime ago......and had regained it... I m just confused, because today I got a txt saying, "I don't think the councilor will help us" "it gets easier being without you" then this txt "do you think it will help?, I want to c u again, but dont want to be pushed away by u again" (she had left me 3 times and rejected me when I broke the NC) then I get "lets meet and talk tomorrow" ok, now Im confused. I did break the NC 2day for 3 txt messages (will get raked for this one im sure) to only reply "maybe thats my problem, I have never pushed you away" and "I am only free 2nite and Wednesday" " she said "sorry I have plans 2nite" I replied (last reply) "it must not be that important to talk then" she had replied back "I have plans with my family and when you feel u can fit me in your schedule, let me know" The only thing I can see is whe was looking for me to react to the first 3 texts, as mentioned, this is the first time I have felt in control, out of the 3 times she has left me, twice I had given in easy and I had welcomed her back with open arms, this time I haven't and last week one of her text messages were "you aren't reacting the way u usually do" Confused yet?, I am.....I feel if I meet her, its a ploy to regain control of me, the only reason I would agree to meeting her is to get so much off my chest and rather do it in person then text, I am so much stronger this time to meet her then the first time when I broke NC..or do I just call what I believe to be her bluff and say, "why do you want to meet and talk, when you pretty much told me you don't want this?" Any Advice? usually great advice on here LiL
Cloudberry Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 You seem to think she is just manipulating your feelings, and doesn't really want you back. You know her better than any of us. Is she really that manipulative? If she's into games, then maybe you are better off without her. However, if you want her back, and if you think you can handle meeting her and talking in person, and if she is being sincere, then consider doing so. That's just my .02
Author LostInLimbo Posted June 15, 2009 Author Posted June 15, 2009 You seem to think she is just manipulating your feelings, and doesn't really want you back. You know her better than any of us. Is she really that manipulative? If she's into games, then maybe you are better off without her. However, if you want her back, and if you think you can handle meeting her and talking in person, and if she is being sincere, then consider doing so. That's just my .02 Very Manipulative, just likes to be in control and regain that control she lost, I am strong enough to meet her, I would like to try and work things out, but I am at the stage where if it does, great, if not, I don't care and will move on, so I suppose maybe the NC has helped me.... LiL
wow123 Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 If you don't care if things work out you may want to think about whether or not that's what you really want.
Cloudberry Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Yeah, and if she is very manipulative, as you say she is, then stay away from her and don't let her toy with your feelings anymore.
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