sully 123 Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 I was seeing this guy from grammar school, for the past 3 months not alot, like once a month, but we enjoyed each other's company. He called all the time, and we really hit it off a complete gentlemen. All of a sudden out of nowhere, he stopped calling two weeks ago, I called him two weeks ago, if he wanted to go for a walk by the beach, he returned my call and said he was going out fishing with his buddy friend. He said he would of loved too, but he made plans, and always seemed honest to me. Well I text him during that week and he text me back. Well a few days later, I called him and his mom answered who is very sweet and said he was out, and asked how I was. She said she would give him the message, which I am sure she did, because she likes me. Well haven't heard a word, and my birthday was yesterday, and nothing. WE originally made plans he ask to do something on that day which was a month ago, to dinner or something last time I saw him a month ago. But this all started out of nowhere two weeks ago, the phone calls stop, I am shocked. I won't call because I did so last week, I don't understand. We are not kids, he told me how much he liked me, and I knew he did, because we have been in contact over the past few months. Explain............ WE are both in our fifties.
carhill Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 A red flag to me, as a guy who is 50, is that mom answers the phone. Don't get me wrong; I love my mom and cared for her (she has dementia) until I could no longer but she never, ever, not once answered my phone, even when she used to come out and work in my orchard back when I was single. Also, at 50, I can tell you, if I was interested, I'd be talking to you in person or on the phone and we'd be going out on dates, or I would not be talking to you at all or make it clear that I'm not interested. That's what a mature man does. Probably best to leave this fish with his mother
SoulSearch_CO Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 I think you pursued him too much. If he had really been interested, he would have pursued you.
Author sully 123 Posted June 14, 2009 Author Posted June 14, 2009 No Soul Search I have never been the aggresive one, he use to call me all the time. I could count the times I called him, maybe three compared to his hundred. I always let him call me and make the moves, that is what I dont understand all of a sudden out of nowhere he changed. He seemed so honest and why would he do this to me, when we go back many years.
Author sully 123 Posted June 14, 2009 Author Posted June 14, 2009 A red flag to me, as a guy who is 50, is that mom answers the phone. Don't get me wrong; I love my mom and cared for her (she has dementia) until I could no longer but she never, ever, not once answered my phone, even when she used to come out and work in my orchard back when I was single. Also, at 50, I can tell you, if I was interested, I'd be talking to you in person or on the phone and we'd be going out on dates, or I would not be talking to you at all or make it clear that I'm not interested. That's what a mature man does. Probably best to leave this fish with his mother Yes, I agree, he seemed so sincere all the time. We were talking about the summer time and what we would do. It just amazes me how someone could just do that to someone he already knows.. it hurts
carhill Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 Some possibilities: 1. Your signals of interest weren't reaching him. I have plenty of women who are friendly with me but few to none who are interested (romantically). Men read signals from women, just like women do from men. It's the content, not the volume. 2. He's involved with or pursuing someone else. 3. He's emotionally immature. Having known him for years, you should be able to gauge that part. Having a conversation with his mom about him might (or might not) be such an indication. A mature man, especially one in his 50's, does not involve mom in his social/romantic life. 4. He's just not interested in you. Bummer I know that feeling only too well (being in your potential position). TBH, I've had plenty of experience with women (men do this too) who show just enough interest to keep me hanging on. My wife did that during our M. Other women have done it off and on during my life. True platonic friends did not. People use words to manipulate other people. Sometimes it's purposeful. Sometimes it's instinctive. Sometimes they don't even realize they're doing it. Regardless, the effect is still the same. Learning to match actions with words will help you, as it did me. Another day, another lesson in life
Author sully 123 Posted June 14, 2009 Author Posted June 14, 2009 Thanks Carhill for the advice. You do learn a hard lesson. We both were kind of in the same situation also. His mom lives with him now, she is ederley. My dad passed away last year and my ederley mom lives with me since last year. What bothers me is I truely believed him whenever he talked about anything, but now I wonder. The most I never heard from him was like ten days, and its now two weeks. He knew when my birthday was because we talked about it last month and then nothing yesterday. He had three heart attacks quite a few years ago, I thought maybe something happened, but as I said I called which I don't do often on Sunday last week and never returned my call, which is just odd. I knew we liked each other so much, so it just doesnt make sense. To know him since grammar school, we grew up in the same neighborhood. I know I shouldn't contact him anymore, but you just wonder, what did I do?
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