Leveller Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 I saw these posts in another forum and I would be interested to know what people think. [FONT=Times New Roman]Quote:[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Originally Posted by bexcelant [/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]But I'm not sure that I want someone who jumps from one guy to the next to the next. Why do people do that? [/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Immaturity. Either these are people who just don't know what they want, or they just can't settle down with one person. In the end it is usually their partner(s) who gets hurt. Some don't realize that rushing into relationships when they are not ready can really confuse and frustrate the person they are rebounding with. Some do, but are just so self-centered that they don't even care. I think its wrong to date a person while harboring strong feelings for your ex. Its unfair to yourself, and its unfair to your current gf/bf. If I were to meet a woman who was fresh out a relationship, I'd take it real slow and just be her friend and get to know her for the time being. If she was constantly talking about her ex and feeling down, then its obvious that she just isn't ready. I'd be afraid to date her even if she had shown interest in me. [/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]Owwww [/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman][/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]All this sounds very painful to me. All I can say is that if someone is dating someone else and still has strong feelings for you. That other relationship is 99.9% doomed from the very beginning. They will be thinking of you, remembering you, comparing the both of you, and fantasizing about you all the time they are with the other person. In the end..everything will come boiling out and then their new partner will get hurt, they will be confused about what they want and they will come back to you. I guess the real question I have..how do you handle em when they come back cause I wonder if their mind is going to be a jumble of confusion and emotions.[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]When your heart even slightly belongs to someone else, it's hard to focus on a new relationship even if it seems better for you.[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT] I am not sure I agree with everything in here but I do think they contain a few grains of truth both from the standpoint of my present situation and my past experiences both personally and with other people. What do others think?
Author Leveller Posted June 14, 2009 Author Posted June 14, 2009 Sorry for the font messages-this was a cut and paste job.
SweetyBear Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 I think there are those of us who are truly trying to learn from our mistakes and make ourselves better in light of a break up and those who just want the hurt to go away and will use any means necessary. I've read over and over again how girls have had a guy waiting in the wings before they even break up with their current. It does seem incredibly selfish yet I can understand at the same time. I understand that the pain of being alone and having to recognize your own faults in the relationship and how you were not maybe the stellar participant you always thought is excruciating. To move on and have that "honeymoon" phase with someone else who will do and say all the things you want simply because it's new would be incredibly tempting. I think those of us who are really trying to do the work necessary to have a good and healthy relationship in the future or perhaps even reconcile with our exes will be better off as people just for having dealt with our internal issues. That said, it all really just depends on the person themselves.
Author Leveller Posted June 14, 2009 Author Posted June 14, 2009 Well I posted this to also understand my present situation. I am sure she had her new man waiting in the wings but if it we were/are so done why I have even been in the picture? Apart from all the things she has said and done, too much to detail, both to push me away and bring me closer (including sleeping with me 8 times, 6 in the last month before I went NC) she has kept my stuff around, compared me in a favourable light to her current beau and says how confused she is and 'up and down'. To say now she want's (3 weeks ago) to give it 'a real go' with her new man, although she still wanted me in her life, defies my logic-what has she been doing for the last 3 months if not giving it a 'real go'? They don't even seem to get on well and he knows nothing about me and, it seems, very little of her life. Beats me...that's all.
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