mr.dream merchant Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 So my GF broke up with me. She said it started building up a month ago and then she gave me the "we need our space" and relationship problems talk Wednesday and then NC Thursday until today. I made a couple attempts at contacting her via txt and phone calls but the only time she ever replied was to tell me "its over". I'm confused because...I feel like if she really loved me she would've made an attempt to work on things in the relationship instead of just giving me the ax so swift. So now in the middle of this NC, I've been talking to lots of different people. Some say she'll contact me again. Some say she won't. I know what the odds are and they aren't good. How do I take my mind off of her? How do I stop the idle mind wondering of what she's up to, if she has another guy or not? Its only been a couple days of NC, should I still have hope of her wanting to talk and make things work after a week of space from me?
LostInLimbo Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 Hey Mr Dream, its tough, I feel your pain, by reading your post, it doesn't seem as though she has axed you right away, it was month you said she felt this way, try hanging out with friends, going for walks has helped me and most of all, she has told you "It's Over" its very very important to stay NC, its going to be damn hard, but I Broke the NC rule and it killed me emotionally, because it bit me in the butt, if you read some of my earlier posts...as for thinking all the time...KEEP your mind occupied, it will kill you emotionally thinking of what MAYBE happening or what she is doing, as I always said, you have about as much control over the situation as you do over changing the weather....stay strong and NC.....if you have urges, call a friend, text a friend... Giver her what she has asked for...Her Space...if IF you have an urge to contact her, just let her know you will respect what she has asked for then go NC after that, its her call now... You are Certainly in the right forum, for help, whether you follow the advice is up to you, LiL
ON MY OWN Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 I have had some experience with the needing space to figure things out and have had a certified counselor ask me what I am wanting to gain from the time apart. Time apart creates a barrier almost from my experience and if you are going to work on it you need to be together and not seperate. it can work but the odds are against you once they start to distance themselves. It will be tough but try and create some of your own happiness, keep busy with friends, family and hobbies. Maybe even date a little and soon you will fine if it is meant to be you will get back together and if its not you are better off and will begin to feel better. If you find yourself getting stuck in a rut going to see a counselor will help you over the hump and get to a better spot in your life. Best of luck to you and I hope whoever your with respects you and treats you like you deserve!!
LostInLimbo Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 I have had some experience with the needing space to figure things out and have had a certified counselor ask me what I am wanting to gain from the time apart. Time apart creates a barrier almost from my experience and if you are going to work on it you need to be together and not seperate. it can work but the odds are against you once they start to distance themselves. It will be tough but try and create some of your own happiness, keep busy with friends, family and hobbies. Maybe even date a little and soon you will fine if it is meant to be you will get back together and if its not you are better off and will begin to feel better. If you find yourself getting stuck in a rut going to see a counselor will help you over the hump and get to a better spot in your life. Best of luck to you and I hope whoever your with respects you and treats you like you deserve!! Hi OMO,,,sometimes time apart also makes a heart grow fonder and you then come to terms withyourself, thinking what did I lose? I had it good...but for what your saying,,yup, definetly could go that way, depending on how badly the couple want to work it out, also one maybe just feel they have lost out on somethings in life and are doing them now (personal experience) , its a strange cycle... LiL
BearPower Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 OP- Ill give you some advice straight off the bat. PLEASE DON NOT CONTACT HER. YOU MUST RESPECT HER WISHES FOR SPACE I MADE THE MISTAKE OF NOT RESPECTING THAT, AND I ****ED IT ALL UP BECAUSE OF IT. LET HER MAKE THAT MOVE. IF SHE WANTS YOU, SHE WILL COME BACK!!! Listen to the folks on here, they know what they are talking about
carhill Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 OP, you foreshadowed this: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t190619/ You're 20. That's two lifetimes ago for me. Get out there and enjoy yourself. Plenty of time to wonder when you're older
SweetyBear Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 This could be way off, but it's been my personal experience and also the experience of a lot of the women I know. They will have a talk that they consider to be the "last shot" for their SO. The SO may have no idea and think it's a talk just like any other talk. Really, in the woman's mind it's an ultimatum. As in, if he doesn't respect me on it this time, it's over. I know how wrong this sounds, but I've seen it happen over and over again. Sometimes it's because you argue about the same thing all the time and the woman just makes up her mind that she's not having this argument again. I think that's why it seems like it's out of the blue because you thought it was just another argument and to her it meant the end of things.
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