mammax3 Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 Carhill commented in the "How long to wait before you have sex" thread: "Conventional male wisdom would indicate sexing the woman as rapidly as possible to promote oxytocin production and emotional bonding, if his desire is to keep her around and have more sex with her. The longer he waits, the more likely she is to think and evaluate, risking incompatibility revelations or a change of heart regarding his attractiveness." I didn't want to hijack the other thread, but I'm interested in peoples opinions on this 'conventional' wisdom, and if that's the reason why men seek sex earlier than women (stereotypically). I've learned that women's oxytocin and emotional bonding is strengthened through eye contact, communication and sharing of feelings whereas men get the emotional bonding strengthened by physical intimacy. I can't quite discern if Carhill's comment is intended to read "...promote oxytocin production and emotional bonding for him..." since it's different in women. Would this account for the reasons women may engage in sexual activity before she's ready, as she recognizes that the man 'needs' this form of bonding and she likes him, so she engages to keep him around...? Thoughts?
Trialbyfire Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 As a woman, I'll only say that any woman who engages in sex before she's ready, is a fool.
LovieDove24 Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 I've had men so worked up for sex after a five minute makeout session that they were practically ripping my clothes off. There was a time where I was afraid of being branded a tease so I'd do something to relieve him. After all, I was enjoying the making out and even provoked it so I felt a bit obligated. After years of bad relationships and therapy helping me realize my sick desire for approval, I've realized my prior feelings of obligation were disgusting. Women should NOT feel they need to do anything to fulfill a man's "need" for emotional attachment. At least, not when it comes in the form of giving yourself sexually. Sadly though, women do. I did too. But I agree with Trial, it shouldn't be for him, it should be for you.
neowulf Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 Carhill commented in the "How long to wait before you have sex" thread: "Conventional male wisdom would indicate sexing the woman as rapidly as possible to promote oxytocin production and emotional bonding, if his desire is to keep her around and have more sex with her. The longer he waits, the more likely she is to think and evaluate, risking incompatibility revelations or a change of heart regarding his attractiveness." I didn't want to hijack the other thread, but I'm interested in peoples opinions on this 'conventional' wisdom, and if that's the reason why men seek sex earlier than women (stereotypically). I've learned that women's oxytocin and emotional bonding is strengthened through eye contact, communication and sharing of feelings whereas men get the emotional bonding strengthened by physical intimacy. I can't quite discern if Carhill's comment is intended to read "...promote oxytocin production and emotional bonding for him..." since it's different in women. Would this account for the reasons women may engage in sexual activity before she's ready, as she recognizes that the man 'needs' this form of bonding and she likes him, so she engages to keep him around...? Thoughts? I think Carhill has this one a little back to front actually Males are in a hurry to have sex with a woman because, biologically speaking the more women he gets pregnant, the more offspring he's likely to have. In other words, the male of the species is programmed to spread his seed as far and wide as he's able to manage, to further his own genetic line. The male who manages to beget many offspring is assumed by nature to be the strongest / most suitable for survival. With that in mind, Oxytocin's role seems almost counter intuitive. It results in emotional bonding causing the male to hang around much longer than his natural biological drives would have him do. From a female's perspective, having the male "bonded" to her and her offspring drastically increases the likelihood of both their survival. That's how the theory goes anyway
bac Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 Desire to have sex is called the libido. The more testosterone in blood the more the libido. Males have much higher level of testosterone in blood than females because it is produced mostly in testes and much less in adrenals and even less in ovaries. That is why males want to have sex.
BentSpine Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 I interpret Carhill to mean that sex bonds the woman to her lover. And when she has bonded she's open to more sex with her lover. So if having plenty of sex is what the man wants, it would be in his interest to have sex with her as soon as possible. Level of testosterone in the blood cannot be the only factor determining sex drive. You see, the male drive is drastically lower one minut after ejaculation than a minute before. And the man doesn't bleed during ejaculation. (Well, hopefully not.)
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