scaredandlost Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 Hello to all and thanks for responding to my previous story. I am sorry it took me so long to get back to you guys but I am back. It took awhile because of my situation which hinders me from doing a lot of other things. I guess you would love to know that I am a female. Now to fully help you guys understand my situation I will tell you the full story and like many others it's long and interesting and believe me I do take criticism well no offense. To begin again I am a female who have been in a 10 year relationship with another female. As time went on we had our ups and downs like any other couple. During the course of that relationship I only touched and kissed one other female which only lasted a month or two, cannot remember. However during the course of the relationship I did encounter a lot of male friends which meant free dinner and free drinks but thats all. On the contrary, my girlfriend had several female friends. Aside from the female encounter I only did that because I thought my girlfriend went out on a double date with another female so I met this other young lady and had my encounter with her which lasted briefly only to get under my girl skin. The female I have been with for 10 years was my first girlfriend I ever been with so she was lucky. Well again recently we have been having so much problems because she did not trust me and couldn't understand me. She started having panic attacks, financial problems, work problems and health problems to top if off. So much and so many problems. Well during this time I was still faithful but I was clubbing a lot and taking phone numbers, but always faithful, nothing new with this situation but when she got mad that's when she would attempt to throw it all in my face and when it benefited her she said nothing. Well one night my girlfriend came home and just another day where we were not talking and she got mad at me, she began hitting me and all that other stuff. She then gets cut by a box cutter that she knew was in my hand, because she continued to grab on me and hit me and so forth. She then see me reaching for the phone threatening if she continues to put her hands on me I will call the cops, in which she figured she will do such before I did. However, that night the police came and I went to jail and I was calm, but calm for me meant no feelings what so ever. So while in jail I sat and I thought and I thought and I figured I was done with her, the relationship, the love was lost and I knew I was gonna react negatively. She did not even attempt to come to court or the police station or nothing to see if I was alright, get the charges dropped or anything. During the whole arrest the only thing she kept talking about was the fact that I walk around acting like I am single always in another state and going out to the clubs, she was not even talking about how she got cut. So during that situation a friend had to run around for me and get money out my account and everything because my girlfriend decided work was more important. But anyway I got out of jail and went home where I did not belong because if she decided to get mad she can get me arrested at any time. I also lost out on 3000 dollars because of getting an attorney and bailing myself out of jail. So at that point my feelings went into remission. A couple of days prior to the arrest I had dinner with a fellow I met and he was very nice but I knew that was all to it just dinner. But after the arrest I took notice of that individual and called the gentlemen because I needed to focus on something else and someone else. We then met and he let me crash at his crib because I did not want to go home that night. Between him and my friend I was crashing by their crib because I did not want to be home. I told my girl on several occasions it was over. So 1 week later I went to the club with a longtime female friend of mines and we had a blast dancing with each other and drinking. I ended up crashing at her house for the night. While there she came on to me and one thing led to another and we messed around. During this time it was just that a one night encounter and we left that alone. I continued talking to dude and then another situation arise and I gave the dude a chance to stay or leave. He chose to stay. My girlfriend kept trying to get back with me we talked and we argued we talked and we argued. Same **** different day. My feelings were still in remission because nothing became of it she was still in denial of having me locked up for no reason other than her selfishness. So eventually I told the story of the dude and the female to my girlfriend after we tried getting back together. She was furious but again I told her my feelings went out the door when I went into that jail and she just didn't understand. We continued to try but the more we try nothing seems to work. I say lets separate for a while she says no. I say we need space or time apart she says no. It works financially but mentally we are both drained. To top it off during this time she admitted to a two year relationship that she carried on with another individual during the course of this relationship. I did catch her kssing the girl in which she said the girl kissed her and that it was not nothing and now today it was a two year affair. I felt that was worse than any one night affair. Today we are still together but not without a price which is where dude comes in. During the whole situation he has been very understanding. He even offered his advice and friendship at one time. I do have so many questions about him and is very confused about who he really is but on every other aspect he makes me feel good. When you know someone for a decade and dont really know them how can I begin to think I know dude after only 3 months. When I say that one gives me what I want and the other gives me what I need that's exactly what it is. For a while dude was just holding me and touching me nothing more. Then one day everything just got real serious the day we finally kissed which was a month later. Your right I felt butterflies, I felt special, I felt loved, I feel all the emotions one feels when falling in love. He says all the right things, touch all the right places, and those eyes keeps me mesmerized and yet I still look for something to be wrong with him. However, here is the problem, I like to make sure I am taken care of mentally, physically,emotionally, and especially financially. Sex is not an issue. Right now with my girl we go half and half and nothing interferes with that not even the faults in the relationship. Yes we have our problems but I dont see a future without her. For right now I think mentally we can be apart but that's all. But anyway dude have fallen in love with me and again says all the right things but his game got twisted when things started to go downhill with his job and he lost his car. How strong a person is he to bounce back up I don't know and that's a chance I know definitely I am not willing to take. Call me selfish but if I was young maybe but in this day and age you have to make sure you are taken care of because no one else will. I think love comes second for me because without financial gain or access then you eventually end up losing the love because you end up losing a lot of the things that made you happy. Now when you talk about loyalty I wonder where was the loyalty when she had me arrested. I do feel that I owe her since we been in this relationship for 10 years and thats another reason I stay. But anyway I am going with the flow and I talk to dude more than I talk to my girlfriend that I live with. We always manage to argue but again I am content with the living situation. And I forbid to be fully with dude, because forbidden he cannot get a decent job according to the economy then where does that leave me, trying to take care of him I dont think so. Love or no love NOT. So again here goes my post looking forward to the replies.
dobler33 Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 whoo hoo! we were all wrong! i love it. thanks for sharing the rest of your story with us, scared. thing one is that it sounds like you're not physically safe with your girlfriend. that's the first priority we have to deal with. have there been any other incidents since the arrest?
fooled once Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 How were "we" all wrong? Many of us said the poster was a female; and WE were right. <shrug> As for the original post, sorry but I had a hard time reading it and understanding it. What I did get from it is that the OP wants someone to take care of her instead of supporting herself. So she is staying with the person she is in a relationship with because that person has a job and can provide for her financially vs her providing for herself and being independent.
Mino Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 Why do you need someone to take care of you? Can't you do that yourself? You sound very imature. Why even stay in a relationship were you cant commit? Obviously you pounced around town collecting phone numbers and kissing other girls. Your girl is no different. Both of you have issues. Now you pull a guy in to get some of your needs met, and you reject him because he lost his job and car? Your a female cakeeater... I would advice you to get yourself in IC, go NC with both and grow up and learn to take care of yourself for a change. How can you expect to recieve, if you have nothing to give?
Chrome Barracuda Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 Wow this is complete chaos. But I agree with mino, you can't commit, neither can she, she 's a female, your a female and you both beat each other up and go to jail. acting all recless? WTF , why all the damn drama? why all the fighting? Mad immature!
dobler33 Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 How were "we" all wrong? Many of us said the poster was a female; and WE were right. sure, but most posters assumed it was a heterosexual woman - playing one man off the other. so everybody's assumptions were bogus.
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