Adi Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 I met my ex 5 years ago, i had two long term partners before her, and never really had a conection, with them. This one was so so difrent we just fell in love and would always call each other our soulmate, the one big prob was she was 17 whaen we met and i was 23, i no there was a age diffrence but i fell for her. Any way we had loads of good times traveld the world worked has a team she was career minded and so was i, i dont even think we had 1 argument in the first 3 years, jus loads of fun then i moved into a bigger home and she moved in with me, we got a dog and life was good but after about 6 months i notced how untidy she was, and we would pick at each other over this which caused strain, anyway with out warning 6 months later i came home to find her dad there moving her stuff out, she came over to me and said we were not braking up she just wanted to go back to her mom and dads well one thing i no about girls is to more you beg the more they want to do it, so i just said fine no prob, then a day or two later she phoned crying too say sorry made the biggest mistake can she come back, i said lets give it some time come round when you wont to but we will leave a part, this was ok we still saw each other loads she would stop on weekends and we were happy again. This wen on for a while and we had a good xmas then the end of this January she moved back in after loads of hints by her, it was good we both took extra effort to get on she would do the tea i would walk the dog, and we got on sex was very good still but i would play mind games a bit i would love kids and too get engaged she would bring it up but i would always say maybe in a couple of years just thought she was young and i was trying too protect her, then we went away for a weekend it was cool came back then booked a nice hol, it was 3 days after this i came home from work tied and stressed i had a go at her about the mess she had left and using all the hot water up. Big big mistake i told her to move out she cryed and said please dont make me leave, the two days later she came home from work and said i will move out if you want i have found a house share on the net, i said dont be silly it was just a stupid agument, then on the bank hol easter weekend on the Sat she said i am just popping to my mates she came back 3 hours later i new somthing was going on i could sense it she said we are spliting up and she is moving out on Tue to a house share with a women, i was gutted but new if i craked so would no she could get me back any time and go for it so i said ok that is fine asked what the resons were which seem to be a cop out then asked if there was any one else she said no and, and i did belive her has she was happy to stay with me until the Tue and she indicated that she would like to still have sex just has mates, i thought if there was some one else she would just leave and make no more contact, any way we had fun over the next 2 days and i acted so so happy all the time i could sense she was upset and on the last day she got out of the bath crying and said i am not sure we are doing the right thing, she said if oniy i has showed more comitment so i went for it out of deperssion i said lets get engaged, she said yes i would love that and it felt great. Any way she had all ready sign the contract for this new place plus i dint want to put pressure on her so she still moved out, a couple of days later she went cold and this is how it was for the next 5 weeks she would go cold i would get scarred we would break up then meet 5 hours later have a big raw chat feel close then she would go cold 2 days later i got her a big ring took her away for the night, but i could sense stuff when we were at mine she would start day dreaming like she was board, she would make a excuse to go home earley, and her texts were short and mor like small talk, she just dint seem the same i tryed it all talk about a big wedding babys hols anything, to get her excited but northing would work. Then on the Thursday morning she rang and said i will be spending all weekend with my mates but you can see me tonight if you would like i went mad cause i new that your girlfriend if she was happy would want too see her b/f not her mates all weekend, any way we dint talk all next day but the next day i met her on lunch she gave me a letter telling me she should have done this a while ago and needed a clean break she said she was sorry but was being the person she wanted to be, i left cracefully and i was glad at first it had been a tough 5 weeks and i was tied, we text on the Tue and she said she was feeling sad and missed me and next week would be nice too go for a drink, then i called her at work big mistake we got into all the old stuff what went wrong and all that then she askes if i had been with anyone since we split i said yes just kissed a girl on the Sat night she said at first that she had not but then told me she had had sex on the Sat but it upset her and it was just sex, then worse come she said she had started to see a old friend and they were getting on well she said she was thinking of going out with him, i was gutted and made a excuse to hang up. The next day i said too myself well at least she tryed hard too make things work and she was always a nice loyal girl so i text her to say thankyou for a good 5 years i no the end was a bit rockey but no hard feeling,(i thought clean break i can not deal with her telling me stuff) she text straight away said the same and she was crying, then 1 min after text and said she had just done a prency test it was negative and she was sad, well what did this mean she must still want me if she is sad i thought so i played it cool but on the Fri i made a excuse to phone her we got talking and had a laugh. I went out that night got drunk and the next day texted her saying i still loved her i wanted to see how things could go between us just has friends she replied said she would like that not promising anything but we could go out next week have some drinks and talk and said at the end she felt not good without me. I made the mistake the next day of phoneing her we get talking at met that night we had sex which was good then went for a drive at first she made out how good her life was but when she asked how i felt i said you have changed so much i was unsure if i still loved her, she started to cry and said she had made the stuff up about it being good and she felt horrible when i said i was unsure if i loved her we talked and she said she felf a connection with me, i stayed at hers and the next day we text met up for drinks had a good night she even asked me back out told me her mate that she told me about was just there to make her feel better, we went back to hers she was going on about the future but we snapped at the end of the night i wanted to go to sleep and she wanted to stay up, the next day she was cold again until about 2 then she was ok talking how the furture is good, i met her that night she was very cold and even seem to enjoy telling me about sex she had had while we were split. the next morning i text her and asked how she felt cause she was cold again, she repled too say i am going to be honist now i am having douts big ones and i just dont feel the same way about you has i did sorry, i text to say no prob have a good life, it felt good in a way i had said my goodbye plus i new i could not make her love me so i was ok this was the Wen morning but then on the Fri night i was talking my dog to the kennals and she had got his book in her car so i had too meet her, she was frienley so was hi we kissed huged kissed and i could feel a spark we spoke about a drink and sex again she said she had trust prob with me and liked me but not has someone to spend her life with, but i could feel somthing more, we text a little but now i am going no contact, can any one tell me why she seems to miss me and flirt and want sex and tell me she loves me then just change her mind so much any ideas thanks Adi.
BearPower Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 Can you please copy/paste and repost that in paragraphs....
iBelieve In Symmetry Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 To me it seems as though a) She's keeping you as a back-up plan. b) She doesn't know what she wants. It can be either. I think you should keep NC and try moving on. It seems you've been very loyal and she's just screwing around with your head. I felt the pain you must have gone through while reading your story. Anyways, if she's keeping you as a back-up plan you obviously need to do NC and move on. All she's doing is using you and you're going to end up getting hurt. In this case all you're doing is going along for the ride thinking she's going to want to be committed to you soon, and next thing you know she's going to be with someone else. Put your foot down and don't let yourself get used! If she's confused as to what she wants, you still need to go NC and try moving on. Giving her this space will give her time to figure out what she wants. But you have to try moving on. This is where things get hard when you think of it this way. You start waiting for her thinking she's going to realize it's you she wants to be with, and it doesn't always work that way. She might even realize she doesn't want to be with you (I know even thinking about this hurts, hang in there). Go NC and focus on your life, focus on your job, school, whatever may be going on in your life. Start exercising, writing, anything. Keep yourself occupy. Treat the situation as if she's never coming back. If it was meant to be, she'll come back. And hey, maybe you might have realized by then she's not the one for you. If it wasn't, you'll be in a healthy state of mind and you'll be focused on your life. Doing your own thing. NOT WORRYING ABOUT HER. Patiently waiting for the woman who WILL stick with you forever, with no doubts.
Author Adi Posted June 14, 2009 Author Posted June 14, 2009 To me it seems as though a) She's keeping you as a back-up plan. b) She doesn't know what she wants. It can be either. I think you should keep NC and try moving on. It seems you've been very loyal and she's just screwing around with your head. I felt the pain you must have gone through while reading your story. Anyways, if she's keeping you as a back-up plan you obviously need to do NC and move on. All she's doing is using you and you're going to end up getting hurt. In this case all you're doing is going along for the ride thinking she's going to want to be committed to you soon, and next thing you know she's going to be with someone else. Put your foot down and don't let yourself get used! If she's confused as to what she wants, you still need to go NC and try moving on. Giving her this space will give her time to figure out what she wants. But you have to try moving on. This is where things get hard when you think of it this way. You start waiting for her thinking she's going to realize it's you she wants to be with, and it doesn't always work that way. She might even realize she doesn't want to be with you (I know even thinking about this hurts, hang in there). Go NC and focus on your life, focus on your job, school, whatever may be going on in your life. Start exercising, writing, anything. Keep yourself occupy. Treat the situation as if she's never coming back. If it was meant to be, she'll come back. And hey, maybe you might have realized by then she's not the one for you. If it wasn't, you'll be in a healthy state of mind and you'll be focused on your life. Doing your own thing. NOT WORRYING ABOUT HER. Patiently waiting for the woman who WILL stick with you forever, with no doubts. Hello thanks for the replie, we have now got to the point on Sat when she seems to phone me then put the phone down when her mate comes into the room, then will text too say sorry phone tommow. I have been in denile when i look back she has wanted this other guy all along maybe he was with someone two, that is why she stayed with me. I have text now and said no more contact she asked me out this Wen cause the new guy is at work, it makes me feel crap because each time she does that i think how many times did she do that too me, you no she was a fantactic girl once i think she has lost her way, i have been down this road 3 times now and no i will survive i just hope she was not my soulmate cause you oniy get one thank you so much for the advice.
Recommended Posts