Thomas X Forever Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 At this point, I've reached the maximum. Every night I have dreams of her now, mostly of her being with someone else. Then I wake up every morning, suspecting that that could be true. Then I imagine them doing what her and me did, and then it eats me alive. It's been this way for months. That's all that goes through my head all day. Every day. I am not interested in suicide, but my God I see why some people do it now.
BearPower Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 Hey bro, that really sucks man Your like this because you are now obsessing. Accept it as it IS true. She is probably with someone else, and your instincts are picking up on it. I had the same feeling yesterday, I just accept it as it has and was inevitable to happen. Now it means you can let go. You need to start going out and meeting NEW people. You will only get over her and these self destructing thoughts when you decide to make an active change in your day to day routine. You also need to try and control your mind a bit more. Yo have those thoughts is ok, we all do it, but to have them all the time and not be able to do ANYTHING about them is only a sign that You are not in control of yourself. Who's driving here? Its your body and your mind. You have the ultimate control over your thoughts and actions. Stay strong. Practice positive affirmations in your head. ''Your money and you dont even know it''! (from swingers) Personally, I have taken a shed load of pain, then some more, and then some more. I dont know why I put myself through it, I knew I was going to get the same answer every time I tried. Its almost a morbid way of making sure my heart gets totally smashed into smitherines so I will be stronger in the long run when I heal....hard to explain.
m00nstone Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 I have allowed myself to be abused emotionally in the past and allowed myself to stay in the relationship regardless. I have subjected myself to much pain and wallowing since then for a relationship that I STILL think will be worth it in the end. (I have my reasons for that.) But I realize that my pain is self-induced. When I do go out with friends, watch a movie (no John Cusack movies for you!), work out until I feel like my bones are jelly, etc., the pain actually subsides a little bit at a time. Build your better self now. I'm not saying you won't have breakthrough episodes where you just cannot hold yourself together, so my thing is always to give myself 10-15 minutes to wallow, cry, be disgusting, and blame myself. And then I give it up and say out loud to myself that I am beautiful, radiant, and having the time of my life. It sounds silly, but saying positive things out loud eventually kind of convinces your mind that it's true... and eventually, it will be completely true in reality. In terms of your dream, the tough-love advice that I would give is that, like Bear said, she probably is with someone else. And stop imagining them doing what you did with her. When you start thinking of it, pinch or slap yourself. It's a horrible thought, and nothing good ever comes of it.
Trialbyfire Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 Maybe it's better to self-examine why one needs to torture oneself with assorted negative fantasies. Use that much vaunted male compartmentalizing, and compartmentalize those negative fantasies to never-neverland where they belong. As for pain, I can take a lot. It's how I can get over relationships by telling myself brutal things but not creating useless fantasies, like imagining an ex with anyone else. Tell yourself brutal things like there's no use in continuing this due to x, y, z. If essence, focus on what went wrong between the two of you, instead of what she's doing right now. She's no longer yours to fantasize about.
Mike B. Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 It's been this way for months. That's all that goes through my head all day. Every day. I am not interested in suicide, but my God I see why some people do it now. Tom, what you describe sounds like what one may experience during the initial stage of a breakup. It is unusual to still be at this stage for months. At this point, this is not something that should go through your head all day and every day. How is your daily function? Are you productive in school or work? Are you neglecting other areas of life due to your preoccupation with your ex? You should seek professional help. Do not be ashamed to take this step. The professional are out there because there is a demand and need for them. You should strongly consider this.
Author Thomas X Forever Posted June 14, 2009 Author Posted June 14, 2009 Thank you all. Especially trial and mike. I do see a psychologist. The reason I am this way is Dependent Personality Disorder I have a minor form of it, but it sure as hell is major enough if you ask me
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