r0xigirll991 Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 My ex is hooking up with another girl. I am sure a lot of you have read my pathetic threads. What to do now. My world feels like its falling apart. I can not absolutely can not get my mind off of it. Thats sorta why I am here. Need inspiration... Need to get past this and move on. His last words to me were "your dam right we aren't getting back together. and your right I don't even care."... Anyone out there who reads this, I'd love for anyone to make me feel better. I hope eventually I can stop thinking about this all the time. It has been consuming my life. I don't know what to do to stop thinking about it, I go out.. Try to forget, but just can't..
Mike B. Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 My ex is hooking up with another girl. I am sure a lot of you have read my pathetic threads. What to do now. My world feels like its falling apart. I can not absolutely can not get my mind off of it. Thats sorta why I am here. Need inspiration... Need to get past this and move on. His last words to me were "your dam right we aren't getting back together. and your right I don't even care."... Anyone out there who reads this, I'd love for anyone to make me feel better. I hope eventually I can stop thinking about this all the time. It has been consuming my life. I don't know what to do to stop thinking about it, I go out.. Try to forget, but just can't.. I understand how you are feeling and I hope you feel better soon. I am sorry. From your other posts, it became quite clear that you was not willing to accept any of our advice. You seem to just want to be held. You must realize that in order for you to feel better and stop thinking about it so much that you have to be ready and willing to move on. Unless you are willing to at least try some of the advice we give or incorporate it in some way for the sake of moving on, you are stuck. You must realize that it is over. He has moved on. Let him ruin someone else's life. Matter-of-fact, you may want to give the next young lady he is with the address to this site because she will likely need it. It is worth repeating over and over again. No contact. Don't contact him to ask him why. Don't contact him to just say "hi." Do not contact him just to get by. Soon, your mind will be so exhausted from thinking about him that you will just look up one day and realize that you don't think of him much any more. Right now, your mind is running off of the fuel of an initial heartbreak so expect to think about him a lo for now but if you continue to contact him, you add more fuel to those thoughts and they will continue to gnaw at you. Stop contacting him. Accept that he will be on your mind for a bit and let the process take its course and in time, this moment will be a distant memory. Talk to a friend or two who loves you enough that they are willing to hear you go and on about this. Keep us updated and read other posts around here. Read as many as you can and identify with those who are going through the same process as you and those who have endured it and have moved on. Help others to cope with their loss by responding to posts and using your thoughts to focus on others. Soon you will be following your own advice. I was in your place several months ago. I too could not stop thinking about my breakup and what the person did to me. I replayed the events over and over and over to the point that I thought it would drive me insane but here I am now. It doesn't hurt at all any more. I still feel the disappointment but no pain or obsessive thoughts and what helped tremendously is what i posted above. Good luck!
Exit Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 Sometimes you just want to hurt, and that is normal. Everyone kept telling me to move on and I kept telling them "not until I'm ready". You don't want to spend an abnormal amount of time feeling crappy about this, but this doesn't mean you have to start moving on RIGHT NOW. Sometimes you just want to sit and hurt. But definitely take up No Contact. Based on what he says there is clearly no chance. You need to distract yourself somehow. Go get a book from the library. Start setting goals for yourself in your life. Join a gym or start an exercise program. Listen to music (nothing that will make you sad). Believe it or not, is IS a choice whether or not to think about it, stop feeling helpless. Take a deep breath and know that you are in control of your existence. You can turn off the suffering if you really try, whenever you're ready. Take a walk. Read a book. Watch a movie. Watch a TV show. Even being distracted for 20 minutes will help. I've been exercising and eating healthy since my ex left and just a few minutes ago I was in my weight room and I bench pressed more than I ever have in my life, and it was such a break through to realize that I have strength without her and I accomplished something without her. If she was still with me I guarantee I'd be spending this Friday night watching TV and eating fast food.
NopeNah Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 Nicely put, Mike B.!! very well said! You can't control what he does any longer, to be honest you never could. Accepting that it's really over is your best bet. It's friday night! Get out there and find someone.. or.. just go out with friends and have some laughs/goodtimes! take care..
Author r0xigirll991 Posted June 13, 2009 Author Posted June 13, 2009 Well I forgot to mention what happen tonight. I admitted to hooking up with other boys after he told me he'd been hooking up with this one girl. He said he will never speak to me again tonight. He's upset? idk, and he said he did loved me, and he DID want a future with me... blah, blah.. for some reason he thinks its wasn't okay for me to hook up with other people? and it was for him... whatever, perfect way to move on if he wont speak to me right?
Author r0xigirll991 Posted June 13, 2009 Author Posted June 13, 2009 Oh and thank you all so much for the help! I come here when I need to cope and some how feel connected with people so I KNOW i can get through this... I hate bothering my friends and family bc they are sick of it... and this is just so hard, and its just so hard to let go of him because he was such a big and important part of my life..
boogieboy Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 Start flirting with new guys to get your confidence back. Start conversating with new guys so you can see that there are better ones out there. (might not want to go to bars and clubs tho, those guys just want to hook up for one night)
ON MY OWN Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 Take a look at "Trading one engagement for another "by me ( its in the breakup section )and i would be happy to keep in contact with you. You are more deserving then to be treated in such a disrespectful manner. I was definitely at a point where I needed to feel better. Time does heal all wounds thats for sure but one is not always to the point of perception of that while in the midst of a broken heart. Ppl grieve in different ways this is a loss and your trying to work past it, dont let anyone tell you how to feel either, because they will. Everyone has their own pace, however at some point you need to make baby steps and when your not moving forward even minimally is when you may think about seeking help. Friends and family can only do so much and bashing a person never helped my heart heal any faster over anything ever. We are not counselors and can offer kindness however if you ARE stuck, a counselor can offer assistance in getting to a better point in your life. My story is so long the story to make a long story short is long, lol. Please wipe away those tears and realize your worth so much more. Someone will appreciate you for the great person that you are!!! Need a friend with a kind heart and an understanding soul, I am here. I log on and off quite often. KEEP A SMILE ~ YOU DESERVE IT!!!!!!
Author r0xigirll991 Posted June 14, 2009 Author Posted June 14, 2009 wow, this guy is such a tool bag. You'll never guess what he text me tonight. He wants to see me because "he thinks love is a rare thing" and is going nuts thinking about me with anyone else.. I admitted to him yesterday about hooking up with two other boys. He tells me the thought of me with another guy sickens him. He feels sick. It has been driving him crazy all day. He can't bare it, and he doesn't want me with any other guy because he "loves" me. I told him I block out the thought of him with this other girl and I DONT let it bother me. I dont! Then he tries to tell me how we are going to work it out!!!! **** HIM! Honestly I think this is a jealousy thing and I WILL NOT FALL INTO HIS TRAP! haha it does make me happy to see him like this when I am perfectly okay with him hooking up with some other chick, who btw used to be my BEST ****ING FRIEND FOR OVER A YEAR!!! Just thought Id give everyone an update. does this mean i am over him? or making progress? its not even affecting me that he hooked up with her... i am not even sad or upset. I dont even hate her... wtf
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