True2form Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 My boyfriend and I agreed that if we ever upset each other we should say something. He has days where he can be really cold and unaffectionate and of course I have days where I'm needier than usual. Unfortunately one of those situations clashed together the other day. I was a bit hormonal and I let it slide for most of the day because i knew he was tired but after a while I just felt like I was talking to myself, we watched a movie and he just wasn't in the mood for any cuddling. Ok ok ok....I can cope for a while but everyone has a limit and he really hit my nerves by the end of the day. So I brought it up. He acted like everything was fine, but now I've been being ignored for the past few days. From my past experience guys going cold and ignoring me means they're not interested anymore and it's over between us, but with him because this happens occasionally with no bad outcomes, it's really hard to tell. But it seems because i snapped this time and said something that he's not happy... ????
BCCA Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 He has a history, this is how he operates. This is not going to change, if anything, it will just get worse. The question really is, can you handle this or do you want more from a relationship?
sally4sara Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 I can only offer this: The only times I was not in the mood to cuddle during a movie, I had placed my priorities somewhere other than my relationship. I've never cheated or left to be with someone else, but I knew when its time to go back on the hunt. Its a sign of general unrest with one's current circumstance. Happy in the relationship = sure! lets cuddle during a movie! I've also never dated a guy who had no cuddle moods. I've heard of people being non touchy feelie; kinda weird to be so with someone you have sex with IMO. Are you sexually involved with your BF?
carhill Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 Perhaps your emotional and affection setpoints are incompatible. Talk with him about it, and give an example of when he ignores you and how that makes you feel. Really sore spot with me, and contributory to our D, so I won't go any further. FWIW, in our case, it had nothing to do with annoyance...
Author True2form Posted June 15, 2009 Author Posted June 15, 2009 I am sexually involved with him and you're right it's weird. He's been acting really weird with my best friend and I (She was friends with him before I was) usually they hang out and make plans which if I'm around I get involved in and they talk a lot. But this week, he's had a week off work and smoked pot with a few of his friends. He used to do it for a couple of years a long time ago and said it was a bad time for him. He's probably only smoked it two nights out of this week off and we are stunned by the change in him... He's gone cold, ignoring us, blew her off last night to smoke pot! He was talking to me all day via text yesterday and then the second he started smoking in the evening, silence....and nothing since. Sheesh... I know he's going to stop this when he goes back to work but I think I'm going to have to ignore him until he's detoxed. It's so bizarre... in other news I'm watching Ricki Lake. lol.
carhill Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Oh, another recreational pot user. Well, strap in honey
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