BearPower Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 Something really strange has been going on.... We will cal them A and B A is my current ex, and B is my ex ex A week after 'A' left, 'B' called that evening. I couldnt figure it out....I havent spoken to her in almost 3 years on the phone. We have exchanged the odd email here and there but nothing really significant. She god drunk during our 5 hour phone call that evening. I heard her go from sober to total bloaber. She confessed her feelings for me, saying she still cared and missed me, talking about old times, talked about my private parts...ahem... bla bla bla said I was worth more than 'A', and that she thought we never matched up and was confused by the difference between her and my current ex 'A'. A- is Skinny, no curves, killer body and a brunette. Bit of a tom-boy, but equally as much a lady when she wants. B- is curvey, blonde hair, very much a girly girl...bit of a trophy gf..... They are complete oposites. Now, since 'A' left, B has been in touch quite a bit, getting in touch once or twice a week. Here is the funny part.... Tonight she texts me, asking how im doing/feeling etc etc. I just told her I was at home, and it would be just me and the fridge taking it slow, all weekend. Basicly being able to be TOTALLY aloof to her. There is zero left for her in my heart except a friendship. After all she did cheat on me. a few more messages went past and she starts telling me how her bf is doing her head in and how she would love to come and see me, i keep brushing off her comments about this and that, and I can see its getting to her!! Still...after 5.5 years apart!!! LOL It will be amazing when I can be like this with 'A'..... I thought i would NEVER get over this woman when she broke up with me, after cheating on me. She didnt want me back, and I think she is starting to see the grass ISNT more green! So it goes to show that TIME DOES HEAL!! I would never go back into a relationship with this girl, ONLY because she cheated on me. ALSO she is in a LTR herself right now.....she is emotionaly cheating on her partner with me at times. He doesnt like us keeping in touch apparently. But it is her who makes all the effort! I just pulled the friends card on her too!! That felt good Stranger things have happened im sure, but I wanted to share this with you.
Author BearPower Posted June 12, 2009 Author Posted June 12, 2009 HAHA! she just ends her most recent txt 'love ya xx'' This is comic, and such clockwork timing. They come back when you dont want them anymore Im probably just gonna reply, ''yup, you take care, speak soon'' I shouldnrt be playing games I know, but this has been a highlight of my day Another thing happened today, an other old girlFRIEND, i say friend as we never actually did anything but was always a spark their (physical I think) who I havent seen in about 8 years got in touch today, and is coming to see me on sunday for a jam.... weird weird weird ****ing day
redmelon Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 ...but it's happening to me, too. My long ago ex of 10 years has been in contact, I've run into another one, and got a text from yet another one! NO idea why they seem to sense this cosmically and come flying out of the wood work. Would love to hear any theories on why this is the case, as it really kinda freaks me out. Is it something with energy and the universe, or are we being endlessly stalked? I don't know... I guess it's nice to hear from some of them...others, not so much...
NopeNah Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 and one day soon you'll feel the same about "A" just like you do about "B"...and also be on the lookout for "A+" while you're at it!
Author BearPower Posted June 12, 2009 Author Posted June 12, 2009 redMelon, its been a WEIRD 2 days.....everyone breaking NC, people going nuts....ex's getting in touch.... I have been pretty crazy today too...seven shades of totally nuts Universe wroks strange indeed. Its nice tho, its a wee pick me up, a helping hand... Praying 4Daylight, The sound of 'A+' is truly the best thing that anyone has said to me on here.....I CAN NOT wait to meet her... She will blow the other 2 clean away thats for sure, she will be the best bits of both and none of the ****!!!!
drummerprince81 Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 Dude - I think this will help you get over your ex (aka exhibit A) very quickly and you seem to be playing your cards right. Keep it cool. Sounds like you're a bit of a stud! I had more contact from my ex yesterday (very friendly again but no kisses LOL or "love ya"s), and it was initiated by me but in a very indirect way. I didn't mean to contact her. Not sure how to proceed. As for your ex ex...she is emotionally cheating on her current partner which probably means she will leave him soon. Good to see that the grass is very rarely greener.
Author BearPower Posted June 13, 2009 Author Posted June 13, 2009 It will help, but its not the cure all. It says a lot about 'ex'hibit B....she is obviously STILL a cheater. Be it even emotionally. I didnt bother txting her back either!! I still stand my ground of never getting back together with 'B'.... The attention is nice tho. I feel sorry for her BF....It gets me thinking, '*****, what if my ex'A' was doing the same thing, emotional cheating...I would feel gutted'.....oh wait, she pretty much did. And B was probably doing the same thing while she was with me. DP, what happened with your ex? You say you 'didnt mean' to contact her...?! What happened? What was said? You proceed with caution, and act aloof, play it down and be friendly, but not overly so, you dont wanna be friendzoned. You can never go from Lovers to friends, but friends to lovers is entirely possible. So I can see in context why it is good to have enough time away from each other... Do you think you are over her ENOUGH, to be in contact with her? I think you should wait for her to make the next move, and then tell her that you would rather meet and talk face to face....... It has to come at some point. The ex is gonna want to talk to you....not every case, but most.
drummerprince81 Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 I sent everyone on my phone a message, inviting them to an event tonight...she responded last night asking me how i was and that she hoped everything was going well. She said that she was sorry that she couldn't make it! I wouldn't have even expected her to make an effort but the fact that she said it, means she could be willing to meet me in the future. She also made a reference to my friend who also has an event tonight, which she would have found out by social networking, meaning she was perhaps looking. What do you think? Problem is, I'm not over her. Coz I love her so much. But I'm gonna try my best this month to improve my mind, body and hopefully something good will happen whether I iniatiate more contact or she does. And I think you are right...I might wait for her to make the next move. I don't like NOT responding to messages, but I feel like if I keep on being super nice I'm gonna be 'friendzoned'. When I asked her to meet me just over a month and a half ago she told me that she didn't think meeting up would be a good idea. And then in the last 2 weeks, she has texted me twice and been super nice. Do you think not responding is a bad move? I'll proceed with caution. I wonder if you will have another bizarre night of exs contacting you!!!
Author BearPower Posted June 13, 2009 Author Posted June 13, 2009 DP, Im really happy for you bro. please dont trip up!!! I think, that you should respond. With haste, in the future.. Have you replied yet? Maybe its best not to, there was nothing really to reply to. I think its her move next. You have just managed to open the comms. Go gently... However, you need to respond with a cool head and untimely manner, not friendly or super nice, not hot, not cold...just short and possibly humerous, showing no emotion or no perticular urge to be in contact. I cant really explain...kind of the same thing i did with 'B'...if you catch my drift. I noticed the more she felt like I was not showing emotion and acting like she was no longer a priority, the more she showed to me and tried to pull me in. Im pretty sure if I played it right, I could get 'B' back within a few months. But thats not what I want to do as she cheated on me, AAND she has a LTR bf (poor guy). Red flags everywhere. One more thing, if she EVER tells you that she 'misses you' or anything like that, you MUST NOT say it back. Change the subject or leave it. If you let her spin you that one and you react to it to soon, the next day she will change her mind and go distant. You gotta make her work for it some. The more you push her away tacticly- just a bit, the more she will pull. Or she will just go NC again. Thats when you will know whats going on with HER. You obviously know what is going on with you atm. She knows your not over her yet. You and I both know that If it FEELS in your gut that your are being friendzoned, pull way back and stay NC until she makes the effort. Dont tell her you could never be friends and you are going NC, if you get emotional again and want to say that to her. She will probably end up respecting your wishes, and it will be on YOU to break it again down the line. Let her work it... So just play cool. SoulBear AKA BearPower!! RAAA!!
drummerprince81 Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 Hey dude I did respond. I could have waited until today I guess but I think coz it was a text, it would look bad if I left it an extra day. A phone call, can be returned days later! I've had no phone call yet though...hopefully one day...fingers crossed. However, you need to respond with a cool head and untimely manner, not friendly or super nice, not hot, not cold...just short and possibly humerous, showing no emotion or no perticular urge to be in contact I showed no urge for her to contact me again...ie. I didn't ask any questions back. It was friendly but I think I was a bit too nice. I said that I hoped her dad had a nice birthday last week, for example and that she has a good night (whatever she was doing). Didn't put any humour in there...I'll keep that in mind the next time. Its up to her to respond now. I think again, I was too friendly but there was no emotion in there apart from that. I've been talking to my mother this morning though and she thinks that I can't live my life like this and that I need to just go down her house TODAY to talk to her. She thinks its the only way anything will be sorted because I'm torturing myself. I'm so confused. Do you think this would be a bad move or keep doing what I'm doing? The pursuit of happiness could be cut short via this method. I just know this is a delicate situation and there are no guidelines How was your evening? Any exes contact you?
Author BearPower Posted June 14, 2009 Author Posted June 14, 2009 Bro...please dont go to her house..... What did her message say to you? What did yours say? How was her emotional tone in the message? The persuit of happiness could be more than cut short, it could be just cut......dead in its tracks unless you play a good game. I think your mum, possibly, just wants you to make or break. Parents are like that sometimes. The only guidelines you have, are to follow your intuition, and your heart head together. Not to follow your emotions. You and I both know how hard that is. No more txts from ex's for me....I have had a duff weekend. I live in the middle of no where, literally. All my family has been away, no friends to talk to except LS!! lol For you it has been 3 months tho...I dont know whether you should try and set up a meeting or not....give it a week and see if she responds to you at all....
drummerprince81 Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 I don't think it would be wise to go there either. Her parents will be there, and I don't know if she is single. I do think she is single though, but it could be embarrassing if I go there. I know that if I pursue a make or break pathway, it will mostly certainly ruin things forever. I really just have to play it cool. Its about time. I'm hoping a meeting will arise soon. Her message 2 days ago was "Hiya how are you? So you're in a band now? Hope its going well. Sorry I can't make it tomorrow though. I see that XXX (my friend) has a gig too down XXX". All I know is that her tone is warm. But there isn't much in it. Although it suggests she has been checking out my friends social networking site (probably Facebook) and the fact that she said she can't make it, suggests that she would have considered coming...I dunno. Maybe I'm reading into to it too much. The only guidelines you have, are to follow your intuition, and your heart head together. Not to follow your emotions. You and I both know how hard that is. My emotions are pulling me down!!! Intuition. I'm gonna sit down in the sun this afternoon and plan what to do next. The day ain't over yet, and she might reply to my message later. My message was simply friendly, a bit nice, but I didn't ask any questions. I worried that perhaps she wanted to talk and I'm not really participating, but she knows my number if she really wanted to! You should do the same today Soul Bear - go sit in the garden in the sun, and think about what you are gonna do this week
Author BearPower Posted June 14, 2009 Author Posted June 14, 2009 thats a tough call..... Part of me says you should ask her if she wants to meet up for half an hour or something, seeing as its a nice sunny day....half of me says you should wait. I dont know what I would do in your position to be honest, as I have not received that friendly how are you. Either way, the communication door is ajar.....you can take advantage of it, or take advantage of your healing process..... Im so gutted, my mobile got cut off today, but I have another contract, so I switched on the phone. I forgot about the messages from my ex in there...and thew way her name was stored. It cut real deep..... I was meant to be going out to a festival too today, but I got rejected by my own brother!! Sheesh...that sucks 'there is not enough room in the car, you need to get your life sorted out bro'' WTF!! your 3 years younger than me..... I hate rejection
Author BearPower Posted June 14, 2009 Author Posted June 14, 2009 :lmao::lmao::lmao: The ex ex or 'B', just popped up on Facebook chat...... I know what I said was wrong.....but I just couldnt resist...it's put a smile on my face..probably hers too!! 19:02Claire yo yo! thats a big long profile description thingy 19:02SoulBear yeah...just ranting a bit how are you? 19:03Claire i am good thanks. going to a bbq soon but the weather has turned **** - as usual! 19:03SoulBear its not the only big long thingy i got either!! 19:03Claire haha yeah i know that!! 19:03SoulBear I was talking about my guitar!! the weather is always **** in Scotland funny that, our first subject we talk about is the weather... quite the conversation going on here eh?! 19:04Claire oh yes!! 19:04SoulBear How are you doing? did you go out the other night? 19:05Claire no havnt been out all weekend 19:05SoulBear me neither 19:05Claire you?? 19:05SoulBear l thought my date with the fridge and a bottle of gin went really well.. put on some quiet music, dimmed the lights... and made love to myself ahahaha but it was a nice weekend anyway 19:07Claire nice one, i know you would have made love to yourself! hahah **** gotta run hunny boyfriends honking his horn outside, love u xxx take care 19:08SoulBear yup, take care hope to catch up soon x what is she like...jeeeez
Author BearPower Posted June 14, 2009 Author Posted June 14, 2009 How was your evening? Any exes contact you? Maybe you can predict my future...
Soul Bear Posted July 30, 2009 Posted July 30, 2009 Yes soulbear and bearpower are the same person... Oh my f-ing god..... I just wokw up to receive a txt at half 8 this morning from her again...the ex ex... She is moving to london...she dumped her bf and wants to see me and 'catch up' LMAO!!!!!! If this is fate playing some funny game, im afraid im not interested in starting things up again with her...she's too old now ( no offence to any 28yo women) But hey, i could really do with getting laid, i know what she is like.... ****....i may even have had a hand to play in their breaking up...i hope not tho....she got all emotional and told me how much she missed me just after my recent ex left me. we talked for 5 hours!!! UGH!!! Still tho...funny story and helped me ego out a bit getting this recent txt
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