HsMomma Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 I wanted to update all those who were so supportive when I posted about what was happening with my hubby's back & the stress it put us under. We spent night before last in the ER - what joy THAT is - all night! We got there about 11:30 & he wasn't released until 5:30am yesterday. However, I think we may finally have an accurate diagnosis. The ER doctor diagnosed hubby with Sciatica (and has suffered from it himself). They hooked up an IV and pumped my h full of all kinds of stuff (pain meds, steroids for the inflammation, muscle relaxants, etc.) which allowed him to sleep for the first time in days. Yesterday, he managed to sleep several times in "clumps" of about 2-3 hours at a time. The meanness he was exhibiting (I still think it was a combination of the lack of sleep & the meds they had him on) has dissipated & I feel like I have my husband back. He is going for an MRI this afternoon so we can see exactly what's happening, but they've put him on a different medication regimen & it seems to be working. Like I said, he can sleep, he can lie down, he can move (though it's still a little slow for him) and he finally has color back in his face & a light back in his eyes. This morning, he thanked me for "standing by him" and told me I'm his hero. Hero! What a joke! Here I was on LS asking for advice on how to deal with his nastiness and he thinks I'm a hero. I almost cried... I did tell him that, honestly, when things were at their worst, I tried to concentrate on the wedding vows "for better or for worse," "in sickness and in health," and that that was what helped. He has been there for me when things were awful and I couldn't do anything BUT stand by him during this terrible time. Again, thank you to all of you who responded to my original post offering kind words & advice - you are SO appreciated!
confusedinkansas Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 That 'sickness & health" thing can sneak up on a person when you least expect it. Glad he's feeling better
Author HsMomma Posted June 12, 2009 Author Posted June 12, 2009 That 'sickness & health" thing can sneak up on a person when you least expect it. Glad he's feeling better Sneak up, bite you on the butt & test your mettle! Thanks - I'm glad he's feeling better too. At least I don't have to worry about ending up on "Snapped" now!
quankanne Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 thanks for the update – VERY glad that they are able to figure out how to treat his problem. my husband screwed up his back during his Army days 30 years ago, refused surgery, but in the 80s, had some kind of spinal block done. That lasted 10 years. While it was great for keeping the pain to a minimum, it was bad in that he overstressed his back ... because there was no pain "warning" him to stop doing whatever he was doing to make it hurt! that was about 5 years after we married. He refused surgery again, was progressively turning into a real bear and by 2000, the poop hit the fan. He'd messed up his back but good, and was fired by the railroad for "lying" about his injury. he went into a funk because of that, and things got really bad. Thank God for the V.A., who he was receiving pain management from. One doctor – not an american, and therefore had a more open approach to treatment – explained to DH that because of the pain, he was undergoing depression, which made him act so out of character: Being argumentive, screaming, being paranoid ... all KINDS of fun stuff. Bottom line is that we got him on anti-depressants, and it's made a world of difference. He's been off them once, but started back up last fall when the stress was at an all-time high and he was behaving even worse than he had the first time around. think of it this way: When the pain and sleeplessness are becoming a way of life, it's like an angry monster sets up camp inside your husband. He doesn't mean to respond the way he does, but the pain is too much and he reverts back to a mean little gremlin (kinda like being around a two-year-old, who doesn't know how to temper his responses, but just throws tantrums). The physical stress is causing him to go into a funk, which is causing him to behave out of character. so yeah, if he recognizes that he's not acting "normally," he's going to appreciate you for sticking it out when he was scraping the bottom of the barrel. talk to the doctor about anti-depressants if things get too out of control. It's not a sign that your husband is fooked-up, just a way to help his body chemistry to get back on track. this link will do a better job of explaining the delicate chemical balance our bodies possess: the "chemical imbalance" best of luck, and remember, we're here to support you! q
Author HsMomma Posted June 12, 2009 Author Posted June 12, 2009 One doctor – not an american, and therefore had a more open approach to treatment – explained to DH that because of the pain, he was undergoing depression, which made him act so out of character: Being argumentive, screaming, being paranoid ... all KINDS of fun stuff. Bottom line is that we got him on anti-depressants, and it's made a world of difference. think of it this way: When the pain and sleeplessness are becoming a way of life, it's like an angry monster sets up camp inside your husband. He doesn't mean to respond the way he does, but the pain is too much and he reverts back to a mean little gremlin (kinda like being around a two-year-old, who doesn't know how to temper his responses, but just throws tantrums). The physical stress is causing him to go into a funk, which is causing him to behave out of character. talk to the doctor about anti-depressants if things get too out of control. It's not a sign that your husband is fooked-up, just a way to help his body chemistry to get back on track. Thanks - I'm just so sorry you (and your h) had to go through all that with his back. What a nightmare for both of you! Luckily, depression doesn't seem to have set in - I'm thinking since the majority of this all happened inside a week, he hasn't had enough time to get fully depressed - not to mention all the drugs in his system! Yep, he was definitely a mean little gremlin for a while there. It's funny, really, because my h is the gentlest, most loving man in the world & I coulda sworn I saw the split pea soup coming out as his head was going 360 degrees. I'm usually the impatient one, so this was a real learning experience for me. I'd thought that being a parent had made me much more patient, but having a husband in massive amounts of pain taught me whole new definitions to the word. Ah well...we seem to be on the road to recovery. I'm looking forward to a weekend in my pj's just kicking back with him and being, ya know?
confusedinkansas Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 Sneak up, bite you on the butt & test your mettle! Thanks - I'm glad he's feeling better too. At least I don't have to worry about ending up on "Snapped" now! Had to laugh when I read this.........I love that show. Hubby thinks I'm wacked for watching it - but hey - they ALL get caught & jail wouldn't be much fun anyway
Author HsMomma Posted June 12, 2009 Author Posted June 12, 2009 Had to laugh when I read this.........I love that show.Hubby thinks I'm wacked for watching it - but hey - they ALL get caught & jail wouldn't be much fun anyway Mine watches it with me - and then tells me WHY they all got caught - I guess so I don't get any ideas about trying to get away with the "perfect crime!"
whichwayisup Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 which allowed him to sleep for the first time in days People go squirrely after not sleeping for so many days..I'm sure between his pain, frustration and not enough sleep is what made him be a pr*ck to you. I'm really happy to hear he's come around and is feeling better, and most of all, called you his hero. That's so sweet and loving of him, and to thank you for sticking by him during this rough time.
Author HsMomma Posted June 14, 2009 Author Posted June 14, 2009 People go squirrely after not sleeping for so many days..I'm sure between his pain, frustration and not enough sleep is what made him be a pr*ck to you. I'm really happy to hear he's come around and is feeling better, and most of all, called you his hero. That's so sweet and loving of him, and to thank you for sticking by him during this rough time. THIS is the kind of man I married - not the "gremlin" he was when sleep-deprived & hurting. I didn't need (nor deserve) to be called his hero nor to be thanked for sticking by him, but it was nice nonetheless to have my gentle, loving man back! We're still dealing with some ups & downs as the pain just sorta sneaks up on him occasionally, but overall, it's a HUGE improvement. I'm just glad to see color back in his face, light back in his eyes & his pain lessening. Life is definitely improving!
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