hanna1973 Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 iv been single for 8 years, iv dated but no relationships during that time. i find it hard to trust people, i get paranoid, and look into things too much as i have been deceived so many times in my past. but 2 months ago i met this guy who was very similar to me and we had a lot in common and really hit it off. but our breakup was a result of me finding fault and breaking up with him several times, to then regret what i did, apologise and contact him again to say sorry, usually after 3 days. each time he took me back immediately and with no remorse. until recently, when i acted up again only this time he decided that we end it as he felt that nothing about him was right for me as i always look for we problems and fault him, that he thinks its what i want. i told him that i felt he was taking me for granted and that, that was the case in all aspects of our fallouts. but i then agreed that he was right and that we cant continue this way. which according to the book is what i should have done. but................ yes 3 days later i contacted him again, only this time to tell him that i was going to drop off his things, as i didnt want any reminders of him, which i did (thru his letterbox) as he didnt answer the door to me. and then text him immediately after saying all the best, no hard feelings i hope. but me being a fool i then text him the next day and told him that i had developed feelings for him and it scared me and that i didnt handle it very well. that i wasnt sure what he wanted from me, or if we want the same things. that i do want to be with him and that if only he would communicate with me more and pre arrange dates with me rather than have me waiting for him to ask me (as hes got a busy schedule) as it frustrates me, that we would never have had these problems to begin with. i then told him that i want him and asked does he want me. then ended the message by saying, just know that i never wanted rid of you and il miss you. but that wasnt enuf for me, as he still hadnt replied to me, i panicked and rang him a few hours later. it rang about 8 times then went on to the answering machine. so i left a message in desperation and said, all i need is a yes or no, thats all, infact iv a good mind to call over so we can talk about this and if you dont answer the door il just take it from there and accept that its over. still got no response so half hour later i text again saying, ok im leaving the house now, if you dont want me over text me and let me know. suddenly 10 mins later he text back saying (in enniskillen with no signal) altho i must mention that 2 weeks before that he was in enniskillen and had no trouble at all texting me then. ?? hmmm that got me thinking all sorts as you can imagine, such as how come all of a sudden he does have a signal. so i text back immediately saying, well at least i know you got my messages with a we smiley face at the end. i got no reply since. so the next morning i sent another message saying..... Morning you had me worried this few days, thot something was wrong, had to do something to get a reaction out of you so id know you were still alive :S phew! (as he has had suicidal tendencys as his mother committed suicide 3 years ago and he takes medication and sees a therapist for this) and i continued saying............. so whats happening do you want me to arrange to see you alone so we can chat and work this out or do you want to call it a day? its up to you, just let me know either way xxx well... another 3 days past and i still hadnt heard from him. during those 3 days i cried got depressed etc. you name it in fact i used this time to search the internet and stumbled accross the ebook which iv read and some helpful videos on youtube. but yet again another 3 days later lol i wrote him an email. more or less saying that him not talking to me was the best thing he ever did, that a lot has happened and im now getting the help i need (councelling & anti-depressants) which i should have done a long time ago. and doin things and seeing people that i have been neglecting and that i was sorry, as i now realise i was only ever thinking about myself. that i respect him enough to give him the space he needs and move on, that iv learned were i have went wrong in my past with men and that il use this knowledge to improve myself in any future relationship. that initially i looked to him to 'fill my empty cup' and when i felt he wasnt doin that, i got angry and frustrated with him. but realise now that i needed to do that for myself, that i wasnt ready then etc. that i do want him back but i accept the breakup and im sorry. that altho he isnt talking to me and may never again but i see this as my closier and one day he will come accross this email and remember the good times we shared etc and said my goodbyes. i sent that email 4 days ago and havent contacted him since. sorry iv written so much but felt i needed to tell you in order for you to understand my dilema and show me the right path to choose. i have faith in the no contact method but i got confused initially because i was unsure, did he dump me? did i dump him? does he want me? i hope i havent ruined all chances to get him back plz let me know your thots on the matter, because he wont reply to me and my mind is thinking all sorts!! it would be much appreciated.
Exit Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 To be completely honest with you, I only read the first couple paragraphs where you described everything you were doing wrong in the relationship. Until you can learn to trust someone and stop picking part their faults, you might as well be single. I'm not trying to be harsh but it's the truth. Someone who comes into your life doesn't deserve to be judged just because you've been "Deceived in the past", that's like taking points away from them before you even meet them. Until you can get over some of these issues, don't waste anyone else's time. Until you are truly able to trust and love someone, why bother? If you walk into a relationship knowing that you have these negative feelings, what you get in the end is exactly what you deserve. We all get dumped a heart broken and kicked when we're down, but you have to pick up and start fresh instead of carrying all this baggage with you and having it affect completely different relationships.
NopeNah Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 Quick question...why are ALL of your "smileys" coming up with that e-book " how to get your ex back" garbage, nonsense??
BearPower Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 Quick question...why are ALL of your "smileys" coming up with that e-book " how to get your ex back" garbage, nonsense?? Cos she copy pasted her story from that site, or its an article.
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