OregonTraveller Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 Well we had a fight...a good one (no abusive words, etc). But it wasn't resolved. My issue... she will come to be, we have the lights off and not knowing what mood she is in, we will talk till its way too late for much else. And if she looks like the mood is more intimate time (nude, or silk gown)..its the same. The night we fought, she was talking about some murder that had happened. And though I can completely, totally understand why it is important to talk about it....timing is everything. So yes I sulked. Fumed...and then I explained what was the problem... We dont talk about anything beyond kids, news...etc. And if I was to bring up anything flirty/sexual....well, I learned to NOT bring it up.. Probably the thing that most...annoyed me.. 1. When I mentioned some of the more...adventurous/intimate things we did in the past (making out in dark, mostly empty theaters)...she regrets those...OUCH. I would love to hear if ANYONE else has had this happen where the SO regrets something that they both loved at the time... 2. She mentioned that she would not remarry...and its not outa love...its because she has no need for sex or a man in that way. I know she has worries...but among them are the World recession....and there is little 'we' can do. She knows that... 1. I of course am praying for her...but I am not happy. I am generally an easy person to get along with...non-confronting. But not a doormat either. 2. The big 'D' is not an option..at least now. We are civil, generally happy... I know she might be going thru a physical phase...shes approaching 50. But just 9 months ago was much better..
tami-chan Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 Well we had a fight...a good one (no abusive words, etc). But it wasn't resolved. My issue... she will come to be, we have the lights off and not knowing what mood she is in, we will talk till its way too late for much else. And if she looks like the mood is more intimate time (nude, or silk gown)..its the same. The night we fought, she was talking about some murder that had happened. And though I can completely, totally understand why it is important to talk about it....timing is everything. So yes I sulked. Fumed...and then I explained what was the problem... We dont talk about anything beyond kids, news...etc. And if I was to bring up anything flirty/sexual....well, I learned to NOT bring it up.. Probably the thing that most...annoyed me.. 1. When I mentioned some of the more...adventurous/intimate things we did in the past (making out in dark, mostly empty theaters)...she regrets those...OUCH. I would love to hear if ANYONE else has had this happen where the SO regrets something that they both loved at the time... 2. She mentioned that she would not remarry...and its not outa love...its because she has no need for sex or a man in that way. I know she has worries...but among them are the World recession....and there is little 'we' can do. She knows that... 1. I of course am praying for her...but I am not happy. I am generally an easy person to get along with...non-confronting. But not a doormat either. 2. The big 'D' is not an option..at least now. We are civil, generally happy... I know she might be going thru a physical phase...shes approaching 50. But just 9 months ago was much better.. Your wife is probably in the menopausal stage. That does a body/mind weird- a lot of changes, some seemingly "unexplainable". Your wife MUST see her MD. Both of you need to understand the dynamics of this major occurrence in a woman's body-so you are able to deal with it better. HRT is an option.
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