BCCA Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 This is kind of a follow-up to a point I've made many, many times here on LS (much to the dismay of some members) about waiting to have sex. I met a girl Friday night while I was out with some friends. We hit it off pretty well, kind of flirted most of the night, and ended up back at her place. When things kind of got a little hot and heavy, I pulled away and told her, "I kind of like you, so if its all the same to you, maybe we can keep it PG-13 this time?" She seemed a bit taken back, but agreed, and we kind of kissed a bit more, and then I left. Now, I admit, when I left I was thinking there was a good chance that I wouldn't hear from this girl again. It's not a given that we were going to have sex, but I could see that happening very quickly. At the time I pulled back, we were making out pretty hard, shirts were off, and we had been drinking...I'm about 85% sure I could have gotten laid that night. BUT - I didnt want a one night stand, and I didnt want to piss away a potential for something better just to get off one night. I ended up hitting her up on facebook, and threw out the idea of going out sometime this weekend. Truth be told, I didnt know what to think, but she was totally interested in hanging out again, and we have an actual date Saturday. Moral of the story: waiting on sex is NEVER a bad idea.
loser101 Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 erm, you should wait until Saturday before you draw any conclusions. You way very well end up wishing you had got a sh*g while you had the chance. I noticed before in your other posts that you believed sex straight away led to one-night stands only. That's somewhat dated.
Author BCCA Posted June 11, 2009 Author Posted June 11, 2009 erm, you should wait until Saturday before you draw any conclusions. You way very well end up wishing you had got a sh*g while you had the chance. I noticed before in your other posts that you believed sex straight away led to one-night stands only. That's somewhat dated. Worst case, I have a date. Thats a lot better and more promising than getting laid one night. Im not going to wish I had gotten some while I can, getting laid is really not that difficult. And its not dated, its pretty much the standard. I know some people can get past that, and others dont want to believe it, but its the truth. Sex on the first date is pretty much ensuring that any potential relationship is going nowhere.
loser101 Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 how old are you if I may ask? I'm guessing you are quite young
Author BCCA Posted June 11, 2009 Author Posted June 11, 2009 how old are you if I may ask? I'm guessing you are quite young Tell you what, take a guess and I'll tell you how far off you are. If you nail it, more power to you, but Im probably not as young as you think.
lora22 Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 I tend to agree with BCCA on this - but I personally have just never had the desire to have a one night stand. Came pretty close once, didn't, and ended up dating the guy for over a year. But anyways, even if you're not thinking, "Wow, I should really wait to have sex with this guy/girl if I want to date him/her" I think it's a good thing to do, just because it's an awesome way to build sexual tension.
neowulf Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 I tend to agree with BCCA on this - but I personally have just never had the desire to have a one night stand. Came pretty close once, didn't, and ended up dating the guy for over a year. But anyways, even if you're not thinking, "Wow, I should really wait to have sex with this guy/girl if I want to date him/her" I think it's a good thing to do, just because it's an awesome way to build sexual tension. I find it kind of amusing to observe the endless mixed signals guys get from society. We have women complaining "Men just want one thing.. why's it always about the sex..." The next thing I know, I'm being jumped by girls on the first date? Then, when I turn them down, requesting we take it a bit slower.. they get upset at me for rejecting them? *sigh* Man I wish someone would write a rule book we could all agree on
loser101 Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 around 25-28? Much younger than I, I think, so it's hard for me to guess. I'm 37 this month and I'd say what I learnt by this ripe old age is not to judge those books by their cover.
lora22 Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 I find it kind of amusing to observe the endless mixed signals guys get from society. We have women complaining "Men just want one thing.. why's it always about the sex..." The next thing I know, I'm being jumped by girls on the first date? Then, when I turn them down, requesting we take it a bit slower.. they get upset at me for rejecting them? *sigh* Man I wish someone would write a rule book we could all agree on Some women just want one thing...it's all about the sex! (Although 9 times out of 10 that girl will then feel rejected if you only see her as a ONS, booty call or FWB...)
Author BCCA Posted June 11, 2009 Author Posted June 11, 2009 around 25-28? Much younger than I, I think, so it's hard for me to guess. I'm 37 this month and I'd say what I learnt by this ripe old age is not to judge those books by their cover. Im 29, not a bad guess. I dont really see what that has to do with waiting on sex, though. Its not like Im anywhere close to a virgin, Ive been there and done that with one night stands. At the end of the day, I'll pass on sex for the potential for a relationship anyday (If im interested in more than sex, obviously)
ruggy Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 Im 29, not a bad guess. I dont really see what that has to do with waiting on sex, though. Its not like Im anywhere close to a virgin, Ive been there and done that with one night stands. At the end of the day, I'll pass on sex for the potential for a relationship anyday (If im interested in more than sex, obviously) Luck you....
Author BCCA Posted June 11, 2009 Author Posted June 11, 2009 Luck you.... The best advice about sex I ever got was to stop giving a crap if you get it or not. Once you show that you can live without it, and you can handle it if a girl doesnt give in, women tend to be more apt to want to sleep with you. Being overly interested in having sex gives the impression that youre either just out for booty, or are pathetic and get none, neither of which are really flattering. When you can walk away from the opportunity (not saying I would do this every time), women realize that youre not going to be a sap who says/does whatever it takes to get some.
neowulf Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 Some women just want one thing...it's all about the sex! (Although 9 times out of 10 that girl will then feel rejected if you only see her as a ONS, booty call or FWB...) Wow.. *whew* Thanks so much for clearing that up!
Flamenco81 Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 I agree with BCCA. It is a very good point. But like he said, you have to differentiate 2 situations: 1- If you only want sex 2- If you see her as a potential relationship I definitely think having sex right away pretty much can ruin a chance for a real thing. Of course I have read posts of users here who have been on relationships for years with people they had sex with the first night. But I think that's a minority. I personally feel like after sex to quickly, all the mystery and excitement of the getting to know one another is ruined. Of course it is going to feel good, but in the long run it'll interfere with the emotional connection.
Trialbyfire Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 Being overly interested in having sex gives the impression that youre either just out for booty, or are pathetic and get none, neither of which are really flattering. When you can walk away from the opportunity (not saying I would do this every time), women realize that youre not going to be a sap who says/does whatever it takes to get some.Good female psychology, BCCA! The easiest way to turn relationship-style women off, is to pressure for sex.
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