CarrieT Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 I am on these dating sites and, as a 45-year old, I don't look that old. Or, perhaps I look really good for my age. But I am continually approached by guys in their early 30s. I thank them for their interest and tell them that I am looking for a contemporary and only want to get involved with men my own age. Then I get this response, "but I like mature women." Wait a minute -- did I not tell you that I'm not a Cougar and that I'm not interested in you? What makes them keep trying? This is happening over and over and over. I have been unable to start a dialogue with any men in my age bracket (I guess they want 20-something chicks) and I am only approached by boys. What gives?
Thornton Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 Be glad you're so hot! I'm guessing these guys probably want hot sex with a beautiful older woman, and probably aren't looking for a long term relationship. Guys your age are probably either a)intimidated, or b)looking for younger women, and guys who are significantly older than you are almost pensioners. Maybe you could try contacting some guys in your age bracket and see what their response is? (rather than waiting for them to hit on you). Or did you try that already? What did the guys say?
loser101 Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 it's ridiculous that you should complain about something like this. Men in their 30s are not boys. You expect men in your age bracket to be easy-going and flexible yet you are narrow-minded yourself
BCCA Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 I would be happy that people were interested, thats much better than the alternative. We cant control who finds us attractive or who we find attractive.
Author CarrieT Posted June 11, 2009 Author Posted June 11, 2009 it's ridiculous that you should complain about something like this. Men in their 30s are not boys. You expect men in your age bracket to be easy-going and flexible yet you are narrow-minded yourself You are presuming that I have no experience with 30-somethings, yet my last two relationships were with "men" ten years my junior. That is why I am anxious to date a contemporary. I never said I expected men in their 40s to be easy going so you are being narrow-minded in your assumptions. I am simply stating that I am surprised ANYONE would pursue someone who has indicated they have no interest; this would be the same scenario if it were someone stating they only wanted to date Asians and yet were approached by another ethnicity, or lesbians being approached by men, or someone who only wants to date a bald person being approached by someone with hair.
BCCA Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 I think people take rejection as a challenge, and unfortunately, there are a few people out there who play hard to get, which further confuses them. The best thing to do is be upfront and straight forward, "no thanks", and avoid any further conversation. Anything you do or say could be misinterpreted as a sign that you really are interested, or something like that. I dont think there is anything wrong with saying you dont want to date a guy in his 30's. Thats your choice, you like what you like.
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