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Posted

long relationship - pop the question?

I met this girl almost 8 years ago. We were both 22. I fell for her immedaitley but she didn't want to be serious as she was about to graduate and move away...and she did. So I worked to contue the relationship long distance. But she's very attractive and had lots of options. When she still didn't want to commit I finally gave up. I met someone new about a month later. Still I couldn't quit thinking of her. The next thing you know I'm starting to fall for the new girl as I have less and less hope the other one will ever come around. but then she starts to give me hope and I find my self in a dishonest relationship with them both. after about 3 months I find the courage to cut it off with the new girl, but less then a month later the first girl finds out. the whole thing blew up in my face. I never meant to hurt either which is why I was dishonest in the first place...that and I was a coward. Anyway so I worked like you wouldn't believe to get the first girl back. All this was over a period of about 3 years. I finally got her back and she ended up moving in with me after about 5 years. Then she confessed to cheating on me before she moved in with me and we had arguments over that for the next two years. we've been through so much but i've never stopped caring for her. She's about to turn 30 and really wants to have kids. I love her, but after all we've been through, I'm still not sure its right. But I do think I could spend my life with her and giving up after everything seems so horrible. should I pop the question? I'd like to do it on or before her birthday, but I'm not sure.

Posted

sounds like some issues need ironed out first. jumps your bones about a girl, then turns around and cheats on you. hows the time since then been?

Posted

One of the best pieces of advice I've ever received was from my mother:

 

When in doubt, don't.

Posted
One of the best pieces of advice I've ever received was from my mother:

 

When in doubt, don't.

 

At least in my experience, this hasn't been true for me. Nearly everything that I have set out to do, I have been in doubt. And nearly everything has turned out just fine but I still doubted!

:)

Posted
At least in my experience, this hasn't been true for me. Nearly everything that I have set out to do, I have been in doubt. And nearly everything has turned out just fine but I still doubted!

:)

 

Funny how different people have such different experiences, huh? I have followed that advice since I was very young (a hundred years or so!) & it hasn't failed me yet. If I have serious misgivings about something & choose to do it anyway, I usually find myself wishing I hadn't. When I follow that advice (and my gut), it usually works out best. Ahhhh...different strokes:)

Posted
Funny how different people have such different experiences, huh? I have followed that advice since I was very young (a hundred years or so!) & it hasn't failed me yet. If I have serious misgivings about something & choose to do it anyway, I usually find myself wishing I hadn't. When I follow that advice (and my gut), it usually works out best. Ahhhh...different strokes:)

 

Oh, I understand. For me, I have always had self-doubts and i have had many situations in my life that were definitely worthy of doubts. And some decisions I made I certainly wasn't sure of myself or if it was the best thing. There are definitely some events when I felt doubt and it didn't work out. But, at least in my own life, I have found that doubt almost always means success! :laugh:

 

But it is funny how different we all are and that is why giving advice can be tricky since what may work for me may not work for you! :)

Posted
Oh, I understand. For me, I have always had self-doubts and i have had many situations in my life that were definitely worthy of doubts. And some decisions I made I certainly wasn't sure of myself or if it was the best thing. There are definitely some events when I felt doubt and it didn't work out. But, at least in my own life, I have found that doubt almost always means success! :laugh:

 

But it is funny how different we all are and that is why giving advice can be tricky since what may work for me may not work for you! :)

 

Yep, which is why I agree with those whose advice is: take what applies to your situation and leave the rest.

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