RosyDay Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 Hi. I just joined this website. I was in a relationship with a man that had a terribly chaotic life. While we were dating, he loss his apt., his car, had lots of health problems and more. He barely saw me- once every 4 to 6 weeks and I only lived an hour away. He put little effort into the relaitonship. His excuse was that his life was so chaotic and he was homeless. So I hung in there. We had lots of phone calls and that is what kept the relationship going. When I saw him, most of the dates were beautiful. I loved him. More than I ever loved anyone in my life. In the past, when he was supposed to meet me, and he had a "bad day." like his car breaking down...he would just stand me up...no explanations until hours and hours later. It hurt so much. He is an athelete, and it was like he treated his problem like he was running to the finish line and no distractions could get in the way. I believe that is why he ignored me. On the last day of our relationship. he was going to see me if his car was fixed, but he never called. I was upset and confused. I tried calling him, but he just ignored all of my calls. He didn't call me until 9pm. During the course of this day, I was so extremely upset. I felt stood up even though our plans were not definite. (By the way, the first time he stood me up, he went back to his ex-girlfriend). I was so upset. I had felt ignored and disregarded....all I needed was 30 seconds to tell me he couldn't make it. He said he was on the phone with mechanics and the warranty office, but there were several phone calls so he could have called me between calls. That whole day, I admit, I left mean messages on his phone. When he finally talked, I was so angry. He made fun of me. I called him an ass and hung up the phone. To make a long story short...within 7 days, he had hooked up with a new woman. Now, a month later, he has his car, has his apartment and has her. He completely cut me off as if I meant nothing. It was as if I never existed to him. I made excuse after excuse for him and just kept waiting for him to get his life together. I hung in there. He just completely cut me off- threw me away like trash. I've tried throwing myself into charity work, talking, seeing a therapist, but the pain is so bad, I feel like nothing helps. He never aplogized for the way he treated me (only "I'm sorry you feel that way"). He did not apologize for his behavior. My heart is so ripped to shreds I don't know what to do. I've called him a few times hoping to understand how he could say that he loves me and within 7 days be dating someone else and tell me he no longer loves me. I feel so broken inside and so shattered I feel as if I can't piece my life back together.
amaysngrace Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 I've called him a few times hoping to understand how he could say that he loves me and within 7 days be dating someone else and tell me he no longer loves me. I feel so broken inside and so shattered I feel as if I can't piece my life back together. It sounds like maybe he wanted you to take him in and support him or something. Like be his mom. This new one probably did just that. She's a sucker. Be glad you aren't.
Exit Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 Sounds like he just used you during a hard time in his life (I know how that goes!). First he went back to an old ex, then found a new girl immediately after you, and you were just the filler in between. You need to stop seeking answers. You may never get them. Maybe one day he will realize what a piece of trash he is and he will apologize. But right now you can't worry about that. You're letting your heart get ripped to shreds over someone who doesn't seem to care about you very much. It is good that you are trying to get help and involve yourself in different activities, the only other ingredient is time. Keep doing what you are doing, keep taking care of yourself, and one day soon you will not want to hurt any more.
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