RosyDay Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 Hi. I just joined this website. I was in a relationship with a man that had a terribly chaotic life. While we were dating, he loss his apt., his car, had lots of health problems and more. He barely saw me- once every 4 to 6 weeks and I only lived an hour away. He put little effort into the relaitonship. His excuse was that his life was so chaotic and he was homeless. So I hung in there. We had lots of phone calls and that is what kept the relationship going. When I saw him, most of the dates were beautiful. I loved him. More than I ever loved anyone in my life. In the past, when he was supposed to meet me, and he had a "bad day." like his car breaking down...he would just stand me up...no explanations until hours and hours later. It hurt so much. He is an athelete, and it was like he treated his problem like he was running to the finish line and no distractions could get in the way. I believe that is why he ignored me. On the last day of our relationship. he was going to see me if his car was fixed, but he never called. I was upset and confused. I tried calling him, but he just ignored all of my calls. He didn't call me until 9pm. During the course of this day, I was so extremely upset. I felt stood up even though our plans were not definite. (By the way, the first time he stood me up, he went back to his ex-girlfriend). I was so upset. I had felt ignored and disregarded....all I needed was 30 seconds to tell me he couldn't make it. He said he was on the phone with mechanics and the warranty office, but there were several phone calls so he could have called me between calls. That whole day, I admit, I left mean messages on his phone. When he finally talked, I was so angry. He made fun of me. I called him an ass and hung up the phone. To make a long story short...within 7 days, he had hooked up with a new woman. Now, a month later, he has his car, has his apartment and has her. He completely cut me off as if I meant nothing. It was as if I never existed to him. I made excuse after excuse for him and just kept waiting for him to get his life together. I hung in there. He just completely cut me off- threw me away like trash. I've tried throwing myself into charity work, talking, seeing a therapist, but the pain is so bad, I feel like nothing helps. He never aplogized for the way he treated me (only "I'm sorry you feel that way"). He did not apologize for his behavior. My heart is so ripped to shreds I don't know what to do. I've called him a few times hoping to understand how he could say that he loves me and within 7 days be dating someone else and tell me he no longer loves me. I feel so broken inside and so shattered I feel as if I can't piece my life back together.
iBelieve In Symmetry Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 You're not alone. Keep that in mind. And you made a good decision coming on here. Reading posts here really helps you stick to NC and reduce those feelings of loneliness. It's good support! Stay strong. We're all here for you.
Author RosyDay Posted June 11, 2009 Author Posted June 11, 2009 Thank you so much. I really do need to stay strong and not initiate contact. I fool myself into thinking if I contact him, he will take the pain away, but he never does.
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