brock9911 Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 im not a person who will dwell on a subject immediately. when my father died, it took a few weeks for it to actually sink in. well its been 3 weeks since my ex n i broke up from an 8 year relationship. i had a little fling with another girl right after, which cushioned the blow, and i new it was unrealistic. now that shes moved back home, im starting to realize how much i miss my ex. im not sure if its her i miss or just the relationship. she was playing guilt trips on me after we broke up, which was her doing not mine. trying to make me feel bad for maskin the pain with another girl. she also said how much she missed me and still loves me...... than y break up? she accused me of cheating which i never did, but she did, 4 times that i know of. if shes so unloyal and really needed to get with other people than other than with me, than why does she keep trying to get me to come back after she broke up with me. im so confused and i have no clue what to do a little help, advice, or similar issues will help greatly
sean22 Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 i feel your pain... i think i swear i got over my fathers death faster than this first relationship of mine. May have been the fact that i knew my dad was gone and not coming back, whereas i still have false hope that my ex will come back to me. She just went overseas though so it should be a bit easier now.. Im not an expert on this stuff but yours kinda sounds like shes stringing you along. Maybe she doesnt like being alone. Mines the complete opposite, havnt heard a thing for over a month, shes just gone completely cold on me. I think it just kicked in how much i miss her now that shes on the other side of the world and my hope just plummeted. eh...thats just my two cents.
darksky Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 Sounds Like when she was with you she was "having her cake and eating it".. now the cakes gone, she hungry. Happens all the time.. girl dumps boy, boy starts to move on, girl gets insecure and reaches out to boy for "ego/security" fix.. basically for her own selfish reasons. why does she keep trying to get me to come back after she broke up with me. Why dont you go back?? ~Darksky
Author brock9911 Posted June 11, 2009 Author Posted June 11, 2009 Well the last i heard from my ex was on my fathers death day so to speak, which was june 2. shes sending messages saying she hopes this new girl reminds me of her, yada yada. trying to make me feel guilty for what shes done. as for not going back, or trying to at least, she cheated on me 4 times. its in my mind all the time and it burns. i have ocd (obsessive thoughts not cleaning) and anxiety. i would constantly dwell on what she did and it would cause anxiety. do i love her, have i ever loved her, does she love me, did she ever lover me, if so why did she do that. all **** like that that would rattle my brain all the time.by not being with her, im hoping to better myself and get rid of some of my problems even though i miss her terribly. life sux but what can you do about it. the other girl i was seeing was a nice temporary diversion, but its back to reality. we'll see where life takes us
wow123 Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 Cheating once I could probably forgive...but 4 times? Did she sleep with all of them or just kiss? I'm sorry man nobody deserves to have that on their mind. I've been there and it sucks.
Author brock9911 Posted June 12, 2009 Author Posted June 12, 2009 honestly, my friends caught her the 4 times she cheated, from what they saw it was making out. my biggest gripe was that who knows how many times shes hooked up and wasnt caught. how far did she wind up goin without anyone to interupt
wow123 Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 She had the nerve to do it in front of your friends knowing you may very well find out?
Author brock9911 Posted June 15, 2009 Author Posted June 15, 2009 yeah man, and she continues to tell me she blacked out and didnt remember. eh girls will be the death of me
Nedved Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 she'l always break your heart mate!!! She seems to totally want her cake and eat it and if you did take her back how long would it be before she starts kissing other guys behind your back(or in front of your friends)again. you have an opportunity here to give back some hurt she inflicted on you and go for it my friend. Give her a taste of her own medicine. D'ont allow her back in. As you said yourself who knows how many guys she was with and how far she went with them. You'l never trust her again for a start anyway. and who could blame you? I know myself i could'nt forgive cheating once never mind four times. By the sounds of it this girl will only continue to break your heart my friend...
notalone Posted June 16, 2009 Posted June 16, 2009 Four times!!! Once can be a mistake. Twice can be a character flaw. Four times and she is just playing you mate. I am a girl and I have had temptations to cheat in the past. I know how it works. Believe me, she has zero respect for you and the relationship. Get sane and get away.
Author brock9911 Posted June 17, 2009 Author Posted June 17, 2009 Yeah i found out about all 4 at once. it all came out of the wood works once she got caught by one friend who told me and than others told me about other instances. they said they thought it was a mistake and she wouldnt do it again and that they were afraid to tell me. i know for a fact i cant trust her. its just this new girl coming and going so quickly reminds me of how much i missed the relationship aspect not necassarily my ex herself. And i know its irrelevant but she hasnt changed her relationship status on myspace, of her profile pic of the 2 of us, of taking me off her friends list. what the hell is she trying to prove
fabulous_chk Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 sorry to hijack your thread. i just have a question about losing a parent. my ex cheated on me for three months. I went NC. The last time I broke NC, his father died (MAY 27). He did not want to be with anyone but me. He begged me to be with him (as a friend). But as much as I want to give him comfort, it is destroying me to be there for him and has set me back to the very first days of break-up. I was going through the motions of anger and sadness and tears again. I was doing so well without contact from him. I want to say goodbye to him, but is there a right time for this? Should I say goodbye now while he's numb over his loss? Or should I wait? I want this to be as painless as possible.
fabulous_chk Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 And oh yeah, a week after my 4 year relationship ended, i dated a guy for two months (well, i dated several guys but this particular one was special). i fell intensely in love with him and it ended as soon as it began. he cushioned the blow of my ex's betrayal, but as soon as him and i fell apart, i began missing my ex. so i know how you feel. do not break NC. cheaters do not deserve a second chance.
on edge Posted June 17, 2009 Posted June 17, 2009 Do not break NC. cheaters do not deserve a second chance. Great advice.
Author brock9911 Posted June 18, 2009 Author Posted June 18, 2009 thanx, i havent broken the nc and she hasnt tried to contact me. but i know for a fact that shes keeping dibs on me through other friends. she knew i was seeing this other girl and she had commented on that, i just told her its none of her business. as for your situation i might try to break it off now. if you keep consoling him, he might think theres a chance and it may hurt him more in the long run..... even though the whole situation was his fault i know you dont want to see him hurt. i keep thinking of my ex. about how things could have been different and how i may have changed, but how can you trus someone who cheated. and as for the knew girl, now that shes left, my mind has been racing like crazy, i miss her like crazy. i dont know if it was the sappy honeymoon stage, but i havent felt like this in a while. and now it gonna be a WHILE till i see her again.
fabulous_chk Posted June 18, 2009 Posted June 18, 2009 thanx, i havent broken the nc and she hasnt tried to contact me. but i know for a fact that shes keeping dibs on me through other friends. she knew i was seeing this other girl and she had commented on that, i just told her its none of her business. as for your situation i might try to break it off now. if you keep consoling him, he might think theres a chance and it may hurt him more in the long run..... even though the whole situation was his fault i know you dont want to see him hurt. i keep thinking of my ex. about how things could have been different and how i may have changed, but how can you trus someone who cheated. and as for the knew girl, now that shes left, my mind has been racing like crazy, i miss her like crazy. i dont know if it was the sappy honeymoon stage, but i havent felt like this in a while. and now it gonna be a WHILE till i see her again. Thanks, I'm going to wait a week before I send a goodbye letter. I miss my rebound romance too. It's either I'm missing the ex, or I'm missing the rebound. It's hella tiring ugh!
Author brock9911 Posted June 18, 2009 Author Posted June 18, 2009 yeah and unfortunatly nothing can keep you from thinking of either. it sux. i cant even have contact with my rebound cuz shes on a cruise over seas. every once in a while i get emails updating me on how the trip is. the worst part is we never officially started going out, we were just dating, so i have no right to be jealous of what she does, but i keep thinking shes gonna hook up with guys on the boat ect. but i think most of it stems from my ex cheating. its a never ending cycle
fabulous_chk Posted June 19, 2009 Posted June 19, 2009 yeah and unfortunatly nothing can keep you from thinking of either. it sux. i cant even have contact with my rebound cuz shes on a cruise over seas. every once in a while i get emails updating me on how the trip is. the worst part is we never officially started going out, we were just dating, so i have no right to be jealous of what she does, but i keep thinking shes gonna hook up with guys on the boat ect. but i think most of it stems from my ex cheating. its a never ending cycle yeah i freaked out when my rebound went out without me. The romance went downhill from there lol! I miss him. so. ****ing. much. We texted like crazy, from 8am to 12 midnight. Every single day. Now nothing. I know he'll say hi one of these days. To test the waters. To check if I'm still drinking too much. Then retreat. Ugh. Sorry for the rant. I do really feel what you're feeling right now.
Author brock9911 Posted June 19, 2009 Author Posted June 19, 2009 haha its funny cuz i get checked up on to see if im drinking too much. which i probably do but its my quick escape at the moment. but i did get a phone call from the rebound from her ship. she spent $20 for 5 minutes to talk to me. i thought that was nice. it feels good, and moments like that actually make your bad thoughts kinda just wash away until that voice is gone. than back to the same old rut. this whole page is for ranting. rant the hell on. who the hell on here is gonna critisize you, and if they do f them cuz you know there on here for similar reasons
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