losing progress in being more socially outgoing

[griffinchicken53]

recently i realized i'm regressing again. used to i'd hug anyone. now i avoid hugs. i also avoid having my picture taken, i avoid dancing.

i used to be really shy and come out of my shell, i'd dance and wouldn't think twice, now i can't. and now with avoiding hugs i feel i'm regressing too much. mainly it is how i feel others see me. i feel people like me i come out of the shell. but if a girl is involved, it doesn't take much to pull my progress out from under me.

i thought a girl liked me i seemed to make progress, but when i feel it won't happen and i'm isolated, alone, depressed, i start slipping back. not sure if there is a question, just need help. i miss the feeling of thinking a girl likes me, only to find out i was probably wrong and i was just someone to talk to until someone more interesting comes around.

[playlislay]

After filtering through some of your posts I can see that you have low self-esteem at the moment. Your other post about women not meeting up for lunch (even though you know its not a date or anything?) is causing you to feel rejected.

 

Im the same. This time last year I looked exactly how I do now and felt confident within myself, but recently I have suffered so much rejection from one measely male (and a few others but nothing major) that it has BATTERED my confidence. Ive never felt anything like it!

 

I dont know the cure for healing ones self except for getting more exercise and maybe changing your image? Joining dating sites once gave me a boost but the affect has worn off over the years

 

Good luck hun, x

[sailing]

I can empathize so much with both of you. I had made a lot of progress in these areas, but recent rejection has brought out the familiar shame and negative thoughts. I imagine everyone pitying me and gossiping as I struggle to keep a brave face. The humiliation that brings makes me want to isolate myself, and I can feel the negative spiral cranking into gear. It's tempting to give in to it; after all, it's a familiar and perversly safe place to be.

 

The unquestionable truth is, of course, that if I do, no-one is going to suffer from it more than I. I also know that there is only one way out of this, and sooner or later I will have to deal with it, because I don't want to be unhappy.

 

I think it was on here somewhere that I read the Churchill quote "if you're going through hell, keep going". That's what we have to do. Perhaps we can support eachother?

[You'reasian]

recently i realized i'm regressing again. used to i'd hug anyone. now i avoid hugs. i also avoid having my picture taken, i avoid dancing. i used to be really shy and come out of my shell, i'd dance and wouldn't think twice, now i can't. and now with avoiding hugs i feel i'm regressing too much. mainly it is how i feel others see me. i feel people like me i come out of the shell. but if a girl is involved, it doesn't take much to pull my progress out from under me.i thought a girl liked me i seemed to make progress, but when i feel it won't happen and i'm isolated, alone, depressed, i start slipping back. not sure if there is a question, just need help. i miss the feeling of thinking a girl likes me, only to find out i was probably wrong and i was just someone to talk to until someone more interesting comes around.

 

Nothing wrong with avoiding the spotlight....

 

Being alone alone can be very re-charging and is an oppertune time for personal growth. Can't imagine a better way to spend some free time, but like yourself I also get invigorated by other people.

 

Being alone allows you to collect and process your thoughts, be still, catch up on rest, read, watch movies/shows and organize your belongings.

 

Women are shallow creatures (initially) - and yes we guys are too. Don't sweat it. Focus on whatever it is that you need to do, bro. Keep your thoughts positive - whether you are alone or out and about - challenge yourself to not think negative thoughts.