neowulf Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 I'm in the process of watching a friendship die at the moment. The knowledge that the distance has begun to creep into what once was a deeply supportive friendship. Part of me wants to fight for it.. while another part simply accepts that sometimes, try as we might.. things end. I suppose I wanted to know how people do it. I feel sometimes like life is an endless series of gains and losses. I've met some really great people in my time, yet time and again.. they fade away. Regardless of what I do, or how hard I try to maintain them. People change, situations change. I understand this at a rational level. I tell myself that's just life. That's how the world is. Yet regardless I feel a deep sense of loss when these people leave my life. It touches something deep inside me that reminds me that nothing ever really lasts in life. I find myself wishing more and more as I get older that I cared less. That I could just switch off the pain that each loss brings. That I could some how stop the thoughts inside me that says "Oh why bother, everything ends sooner or later.. why bother getting attached in the first place...". Sorry, not trying to form a pitty party here. I'm just sick of hurting. Feels like its all I do lately.
darksky Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 Hi neowolf, I understand exactly where your coming from. But the truth is.. life is just like that, and people and situations do change. When I was at university I had a great group of friends and an awsome girlfriend, but when uni ended we all went our seperate ways and now we rarely see each other. This isn't by choice, its just how it worked out. But now I have new friends and enjoy spending my time with them.. but hey, that might not last forever either, and probably wont. Infact one of my closest friends is leaving the country, its sad, but its just life. The important thing to remember is that people come and go.. but that doesnt mean they forget. I remember all the friends and girlfriends i've had through life so far and I know they'll remember me and the good times and its those memories and knowing that we've made an impact on peoples lifes which is what matters. Sure it would be great to have all your friends around all throughout your life, but sometimes it just doesn't workout that way. This friendship that your talking about now, why is it ending? Is it something which you can not control and is not your fault? I guess there are certain things that keep friendships alive and other things that will surely kill a friendship.. so you could ask yourself why are my friendships ending, and was it anything to do with the way I behaved or was it just simply the way things worked out which was beyond your control. Rest easy knowing that friendships by nature come and go. Family on the other hand can be different. And as for the "Nothing lasts forever" thing.. well, A can of Beer doesn't last forever, but that doesn't stop you enjoying it while theres still some left. I'll leave you with that thought. ~Darksky
Author neowulf Posted June 11, 2009 Author Posted June 11, 2009 Hi neowolf, I understand exactly where your coming from. But the truth is.. life is just like that, and people and situations do change. When I was at university I had a great group of friends and an awsome girlfriend, but when uni ended we all went our seperate ways and now we rarely see each other. This isn't by choice, its just how it worked out. But now I have new friends and enjoy spending my time with them.. but hey, that might not last forever either, and probably wont. Infact one of my closest friends is leaving the country, its sad, but its just life. The important thing to remember is that people come and go.. but that doesnt mean they forget. I remember all the friends and girlfriends i've had through life so far and I know they'll remember me and the good times and its those memories and knowing that we've made an impact on peoples lifes which is what matters. Sure it would be great to have all your friends around all throughout your life, but sometimes it just doesn't workout that way. This friendship that your talking about now, why is it ending? Is it something which you can not control and is not your fault? I guess there are certain things that keep friendships alive and other things that will surely kill a friendship.. so you could ask yourself why are my friendships ending, and was it anything to do with the way I behaved or was it just simply the way things worked out which was beyond your control. Rest easy knowing that friendships by nature come and go. Family on the other hand can be different. And as for the "Nothing lasts forever" thing.. well, A can of Beer doesn't last forever, but that doesn't stop you enjoying it while theres still some left. I'll leave you with that thought. ~Darksky Thanks for taking the time to respond Darksky. I understand that it's just life. The way things go. Some days it's just a bit harder to deal with than others. The friend I'm talking about was there for me after a really difficult break up. We spent heaps of time together and she always made time for me. Now I'm hard pressed to even have a phone conversation with her. She's always "busy" or just simply doesn't return my calls. There have been things I could have done differently. Times I said things that were harsh and unfair. I've apologized for those mistakes each time, but there are limits to what people are willing to deal with I guess. Relationships should be a two way street, with both parties standing to benefit. I've always struggled with "the now". Appreciating things in the moment. My tendency is to be aware of the ending of things. Depressing I know. Anyways, I'll go on, as I always do. Thank you for your thoughts.
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