BubblyPopcorn Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 YES you can be selective and take precautions and still get it....just like you can get in your car get in a serious accident....just like you can go on an airline flight and get in a crash.....just like you can buy a lottery ticket today and be a millionaire tomorrow.....see what I'm getting at? SLIM chances. Why not SIGNIFICANTLY lower your chances by not being promiscuous and being selective with sex partners. This is something where you have a CHOICE to SIGNIFICANTLY lower your chances of NOT getting HERPES.... Since this is something where I can be PROACTIVE and DO something to SIGNIFICANTLY prevent my chances of contracting a disease, I'm going to do it. You keep on sleeping with guys without being in relationships and not getting to know them very well...that is called NOT BEING SELECTIVE and INCREASING YOUR CHANCES of contracting herpes. You're 100% correct. Yet I am curious as to why you would advocate prostitution in another post? Just admit it, you are morally attacking the OP and anyone who disagrees with you, you conclude spreads his/her legs for every tom dick and harry.
dunstable Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 HSV1 can still spread to the genitals if a person has HSV1, just a heads up. Oral HSV1 is generally acquired from a kiss and genital HSV1 from oral/genital sex (or genital/genital contact if the infected person has it at that site). If you are suggesting that an oral HSV1 infection could cause a breakout on the genitals, that rarely if ever happens as I understand it.
hoping2heal Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 Oral HSV1 is generally acquired from a kiss and genital HSV1 from oral/genital sex (or genital/genital contact if the infected person has it at that site). If you are suggesting that an oral HSV1 infection could cause a breakout on the genitals, that rarely if ever happens as I understand it. Well I was told by my gynecologist it CAN happen to persons with HSV1. I understand where it's typically recieved, in fact it's believed that most people with HSV1 get it in childhood from kissing other children/saliva contact etc. I've never had a cold sore, so I'm hoping this means I don't have HSV1 either, I'll know for sure when my results come back though.
Author pandagirl Posted June 20, 2009 Author Posted June 20, 2009 the problem I have with some people's opionion is they think they are somehow immune or "better" than a person who has herpes. Even before I got it, I never judged--I understood that no one is safe from STD's and having one does not indicate promiscuity or risky sexual behavior necessarily. I have herpes and as far as I can tell my guy still really likes me and was not put off at all by this fact. He likes me because of who I am.
dreamergrl Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 Cherished is just ...'gasp'... high on her horse. She thinks she is better then everyone because she is ...'gasp'... selective. This isn't the first thread ...'gasp'... that she's put down others morally. The stupid part to all of this is that chances are she's been with someone who is a carrier of HSV 1 or 2. She just doesn't get it. She looks through her world with rosy colored glasses. Many people do. It's sad. It is people like that, that such a stigmata is placed on HSV 2. I haven't spread my legs for every Tom, Dick, and Harry. I don't have HSV 2. But I don't think it's because I'm selective. I don't screw the first guy that comes around, but I don't think that's the reason why I don't have it. I think it's because either A) I didn't get it when in contact with it (I do believe that chances are, I've been with someone who has had it). or B) I just haven't been with a person that has it, and think it's very possible I will. Because it's common. I don't prance around and tell everyone I am selective, and I wont get an STD. Seriously - this ignorant way of thinking really peeves me off.
dunstable Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 CIt's sad. It is people like that, that such a stigmata is placed on HSV 2. HSV2 needs to be destigmatized. I notice Cherished didn't reply on whether she avoids kissing to prevent catching HSV1. She may be one of those who thinks HSV1 is nothing much while HSV2 is terrible. Reality is there is not much difference. I read some place that HSV1 actually causes more fatalities, e.g. from herpetic encephalitis.
dreamergrl Posted June 20, 2009 Posted June 20, 2009 HSV2 needs to be destigmatized. I notice Cherished didn't reply on whether she avoids kissing to prevent catching HSV1. She may be one of those who thinks HSV1 is nothing much while HSV2 is terrible. Reality is there is not much difference. I read some place that HSV1 actually causes more fatalities, e.g. from herpetic encephalitis. Of course she didn't reply. She's probably busy spreading the word to everyone in real life that she's selective and there for wont get herpes. :rolleyes: Some people are so full of themselves. Next thing you know she'll start saying she only kisses certain guys, and is super selective about it. No kissing until maybe the 5 or 6th date! Seriously... so many people don't wait past a month to start becoming intimate. You need to know if there is that chemistry there for a R to develop. And no one is going to disclose they have HSV or anything else on the first date. It's not the right timing. May as well pull down your pants and say "Hey by the way I have this weird growth on my arse."
dunstable Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 Next thing you know she'll start saying she only kisses certain guys, and is super selective about it. No kissing until maybe the 5 or 6th date! She seems to find questions about kissing and oral HSV1 rather uncomfortable because she avoids answering them. Maybe she will eventually respond by saying she is protected against the hazards of kissing by her super selectivity. I could also envisage her saying something to the effect that oral HSV1 doesn't matter because it's not on the genitals. It might also be that she already has oral HSV1 and doesn't want to mention it because it would blow her super selectivity argument out of the water. Seriously... so many people don't wait past a month to start becoming intimate. You need to know if there is that chemistry there for a R to develop. And no one is going to disclose they have HSV or anything else on the first date. It's not the right timing. May as well pull down your pants and say "Hey by the way I have this weird growth on my arse." Absolutely right! My experience is that people beyond a certain age don't wait very long to become intimate. If they are attracted to someone they become intimate first and explore the idea of a long term relationship after that. Exactly how much information you reveal and when depends on how fast you are going. Timing is everything. With the speed with which most people become intimate, one can't wait very long but equally it's not the first thing you disclose. You focus on the positives not the negatives. Otherwise you come over as not respecting your own worth. There is lots of information that is too much too soon. I met one lady for the first time over lunch and she told me she planned to be married with a baby in 2 years time. While that idea was not incompatible with my own dreams, I found it scary that she would disclose it within an hour of meeting. A female friend of mine met a man for the first time over dinner and he told her at great length how generous he had been to all his wives and what he could do for her with all his wealth. She didn't see him a second time. One lady I met (admitedly this was after we had been intimate on a number of occasions) pulled down her panties and asked if I thought the skid marks were normal in color (even though we had been intimate, this was too much information too soon; in fact I'm not sure I would ever want to be asked my opinion over skid marks as I like to think that adults understand bathroom hygiene). I think some delicacy is needed over the timing of disclosing HSV. You don't put it in your dating ad and you don't mention it at first meeting unless you are so hot for each other you plan to have sex immediately afterwards. Having HSV does not define a person. Those who think that having HSV requires immediate disclosure should also contemplate telling their new date "I have a very small penis", "I have a cavernous vagina", "everyone in my family dies of heart disease by the time they are 60", "i get cystitis every time I have sex", "we have a lot of mental illness in our family", "I find it hard to hold down a job with my mental health issues",....
Jilly Bean Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 Those who think that having HSV requires immediate disclosure should also contemplate telling their new date "I have a very small penis" God, this would save me soooo much time.
dreamergrl Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 She seems to find questions about kissing and oral HSV1 rather uncomfortable because she avoids answering them. Maybe she will eventually respond by saying she is protected against the hazards of kissing by her super selectivity. I could also envisage her saying something to the effect that oral HSV1 doesn't matter because it's not on the genitals. It might also be that she already has oral HSV1 and doesn't want to mention it because it would blow her super selectivity argument out of the water. I think most people who claim that they don't have HSV 1 Orally and say they never have had a cold sore, probably have had one. It's so common in our much younger years. And how many people think to remember if and when they had one, especially growing up. But hey, she's selective, so she knows which 20% of the population has never had one. Absolutely right! My experience is that people beyond a certain age don't wait very long to become intimate. If they are attracted to someone they become intimate first and explore the idea of a long term relationship after that. Exactly how much information you reveal and when depends on how fast you are going. Timing is everything. With the speed with which most people become intimate, one can't wait very long but equally it's not the first thing you disclose. You focus on the positives not the negatives. Otherwise you come over as not respecting your own worth. Right, a first date is to sell yourself, so to speak. You're showing off your best traits. Not bringing up all that is wrong with you. There is lots of information that is too much too soon. I met one lady for the first time over lunch and she told me she planned to be married with a baby in 2 years time. While that idea was not incompatible with my own dreams, I found it scary that she would disclose it within an hour of meeting. A female friend of mine met a man for the first time over dinner and he told her at great length how generous he had been to all his wives and what he could do for her with all his wealth. She didn't see him a second time. One lady I met (admitedly this was after we had been intimate on a number of occasions) pulled down her panties and asked if I thought the skid marks were normal in color (even though we had been intimate, this was too much information too soon; in fact I'm not sure I would ever want to be asked my opinion over skid marks as I like to think that adults understand bathroom hygiene). Oh my... skid marks huh? So what color where they :laugh: Jk. I remember a guy telling me he's been with 44 women in 2 year, way more info then I needed to know off the bat. That would have been more appropriate later on (although, he wouldn't have made it to date 2 regardless). I had a guy cry over an ex on the first date. Told me I said something just like she did. Some things are just better off left for later on.. or never in some cases. I think some delicacy is needed over the timing of disclosing HSV. You don't put it in your dating ad and you don't mention it at first meeting unless you are so hot for each other you plan to have sex immediately afterwards. Having HSV does not define a person. No it does not define a person. It doesn't mean the person is a bad person. Like PG, receiving it from a cheating ex. How was she to know she'd be cheated on. We can predict everything that will happen. You can be 'selective' but that only gets you so far. Those who you would automatically think to avoid as far as carrying an STD probably have other reasons to be avoided (if you look at it with the stigma). Then there are those who were unfortunate. Those who didn't know they were carrying. Those who were misinformed, not properly education, or many of the other reasons. Those who think that having HSV requires immediate disclosure should also contemplate telling their new date "I have a very small penis", "I have a cavernous vagina", "everyone in my family dies of heart disease by the time they are 60", "i get cystitis every time I have sex", "we have a lot of mental illness in our family", "I find it hard to hold down a job with my mental health issues",.... "I obsessively call my ex" "I have a tendency to check up on you" "I'm a jealous person" "I've cheated on all my past relationships" "Sometimes it smells funny when I pee" "I have the worse gas when I eat peas" Seriously though, it would be like all the people on LS revealing their relationship issues they post about, and doing it on the first date.
dreamergrl Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 God, this would save me soooo much time. :lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:
dunstable Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 "I obsessively call my ex" "I have a tendency to check up on you" "I'm a jealous person" "I've cheated on all my past relationships" "Sometimes it smells funny when I pee" "I have the worse gas when I eat peas" Seriously though, it would be like all the people on LS revealing their relationship issues they post about, and doing it on the first date. That's exactly right. It would be just like that.
dunstable Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 God, this would save me soooo much time. You could always ask to take a look, like one lady I met did.
Jilly Bean Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 You could always ask to take a look, like one lady I met did. I like her style! I used to be pretty good at ferreting that info out early on, but then I quickly realized that most guys lied anyhow. lol
Cherished Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 You're 100% correct. Yet I am curious as to why you would advocate prostitution in another post? Just admit it, you are morally attacking the OP and anyone who disagrees with you, you conclude spreads his/her legs for every tom dick and harry. It was a totally different topic, duh, with a very specific case of a VERY desperate guy. I'm not morally attacking anyone. I'm being attacked for saying there are ways to greatly decrease your risk of getting herpes, by being selective with your sexual partners, just like there are ways to greatly descrease your risk of getting lung cancer by choosing not to smoke. This really can't be disputed.
BubblyPopcorn Posted June 21, 2009 Posted June 21, 2009 It was a totally different topic, duh, with a very specific case of a VERY desperate guy. I'm not morally attacking anyone. I'm being attacked for saying there are ways to greatly decrease your risk of getting herpes, by being selective with your sexual partners, just like there are ways to greatly descrease your risk of getting lung cancer by choosing not to smoke. This really can't be disputed. Yes but your initial reply to this thread had nothing to do with HSV... Anyway, I agree with being selective, reducing risks, etc. No one though, is 100% immune. It's the attitude to think and/or believe that an individual is more so immune versus anyone else, that is hard to digest.
Cherished Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Same as with lung cancer. Even if you don't smoke, you are not 100% immune.
dreamergrl Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Same as with lung cancer. Even if you don't smoke, you are not 100% immune. But you're selective about where you go so you don't get it right? :rolleyes:
dunstable Posted June 22, 2009 Posted June 22, 2009 Same as with lung cancer. Even if you don't smoke, you are not 100% immune. Cherished, no one is disagreeing with you on points such as the above -- others have been making the exact same points to you for some time now because we thought you didn't understand that your "selectivity" didn't mean that you are immune. I don't know whether you are only now coming round to the point of view expressed by others or whether you felt the same way along but didn't make it clear.
StayinFree Posted June 23, 2009 Posted June 23, 2009 "Sometimes it smells funny when I pee" It's aspargus.
Recommended Posts