t0ri Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 I'll start with the good. A guy I've been friends with for a few years has been heavily pursuing me ever since my ex dumped me a little over 3 months ago (Wow I can't believe it's already June...). He and I have hung out a handful of times and kissed a few of those. Tomorrow, he's taking me to dinner and a movie, and to a concert on Sunday! I'm definitely not used to being treated like a lady, pretty much! It's weird for him to want to take me out and pay for me because I got used to my ex not enjoying spoiling me. (Once he even told me while drunk, "I HATE taking you to dinner & paying for you," although I paid for his dumb a lot of the time.) Anyway, the new guy is the complete opposite of my ex. Athletic, just graduated college, good job, has manners, plays the guitar, adventurous, mature, doesn't smoke or do drugs, intelligent, and most importantly, RESPECTS me and treats me well. etc. Those are qualities I found attractive before (and now also) I dated my ex of over 2 years, and my ex had none of them. The bad news is that I don't know if I'm ready to date? I like this new guy, but I kind of feel overwhelmed because this guy wants to see me almost every day. It's kind of strange having someone so into me when my ex made me feel rejected and unappreciated. The new guy is definitely doing a good job of making me feel good about myself But it feels weird to cuddle with someone else after doing that with 1 person for over 2 years. I'm sooo frustrated that my ex is extremely interested in someone, and I am still not over him and contemplating whether or not I should even begin dating. How can my ex already be crazy about someone else? It's only been a month and a half that we've ended things for good, forever. Anyway, the new guy knows that I just got out of a long-term relationship, and that I'm just looking to have fun with my life for now. At first I thought we'd just hook up here and there, but now he wants to see me every day and is taking me out on actual dates (a FIRST for me). He's really sweet, and has every quality I'd want in someone. Is it a bad idea to date when you're not 100% over someone? I'd say I'm about 75% over my ex. I'd never ever want him back, and I don't even miss him very much. But I think about what the hell happened between he and I ALL THE TIME, because I never ever got closure and he confused the heck out of me. And it still bothers me that he's interested in other people. Should I tell the new guy to slow it down? He always says something about me not texting him back if I don't, and he wants to see me all the time. It's nice, but I don't want to see him as much as he does. I'm beginning to like being alone sometimes again.
amaysngrace Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 Should I tell the new guy to slow it down? He always says something about me not texting him back if I don't, and he wants to see me all the time. It's nice, but I don't want to see him as much as he does. I'm beginning to like being alone sometimes again. Yes. Tell him you want to take it slow. That will be the ultimate test of how much he respects you. Let him know that too. Then you will have time to see what's he's made of.
dwracing39 Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 T0ri.. before you turn this guy away, let me give some advice and perspective a guys stand point.. and a fellow nice guy on top of that. Now ive never gave any advice before so i might make a misstep or 2, but i think you will see what im saying. its like this. Dont turn this guy away if you really like him. He obviously likes you and if he has a lot of the qualities you want then please give the guy a chance. Im sure you have told him about how your ex didnt do all of these things. And hes just wanting to make you happier than you have ever been. And yes, hes wanting to prove to you that he is a better man than him. Hes probably thinking about you right now and wondering if you feel anywhere near like he does for you. If you want to slow down then just tell him!. Something to the tune of " I like you and I want to see where this may go, but im still having a hard time so lets take it slow" Thats what id want to hear anyway. If he cares that much about you he will give you all the time you need. A lot of us guys would absolutely love to show the right girl that we would climb mountains with bare feet to be with them. i have a feeling just from reading that your a nice, sweet and most likely very pretty woman. Give the nice guy a chance. We deserve them sometimes. Hope this helps
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