a4a Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 Not that I really care to use the info for myself. I am too old and set in my ways to change for a man. I am curious though. Besides hot bodies and boobies------ What do they want from us? Do they want a needy woman? Or a woman that can do things on her own? Men seem to like to squish the spider and feel manly - or am I wrong? I have heard men poke fun at a women because she cannot physically do something or does not know how to say - change a tire - squish a bug. Do men like doing these sorts of trival things for women? Do men feel not needed by women that do not require their manly assistance? Is it insulting to men to not need them for trival or physical deeds?
JackJack Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 I think it depends on the man. There are many men out there who are needy, so they will probably like a needy woman. Those who are more confident and do lots of things on their own, maybe want a woman who can do the same. As far as men poking fun at a woman for something she can not or doesn't want to do, well, that's just childish and uncalled for, and I'm sure they are just winners in other areas of their life as well, not! Hopefully if there is a woman involved with a man who wants to poke fun, they will realize he is being an insensitive jerk and dump him.
Thornton Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 If a man squished bugs I for one would not want to date him. Squishing any living creature shows a lack of compassion that I would not want in a partner.
quankanne Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 who the heck knows? They want someone with enough of her own money so she won't mooch off them, yet have a problem with a woman who will pay off big debts (like the mortgage) so they can be debt-free ... that threatens their masculinity for some reason they want someone who is going to give just enough attentiveness ... too little, they complain, too much, they complain. she doesn't have to be a traffic-stopper, but she'd better look nice or he'll complain: Doll herself up, look like something that stepped off the pages of a magazine, etc. worst part is sexuality: They want an eager bed partner, but not *too* eager, because it threatens their masculinity. She needs to be a 'ho, but ONLY when he wants her to be ... her needs are less than secondary, and if she takes the lead too often, it threatens his masculinity. basically, men want a living, breathing Barbie doll who they can shelve at whim. Even the nicer guys. Because otherwise, they feel threatened.
GorillaTheater Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 I want my wife to admire, appreciate, and desire me. Pretty much as simple as that.
carhill Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 My .02... Do they want a needy woman? If needy = insecure, IMO no. Certainly, for me, a woman who has needs and expresses them is a positive. Or a woman that can do things on her own? Happy for that. What does she want from a relationship? Be mindful of healthy interdependence. If one lives single, one remains single. Men seem to like to squish the spider and feel manly - or am I wrong? I use pesticides I have heard men poke fun at a women because she cannot physically do something or does not know how to say - change a tire - squish a bug. Sometimes I do, but only teasing women I know well and love. It's called banter. They get their licks in too. Do men like doing these sorts of trival things for women? Feeling useful and appreciated gives a male a sense of being valued by his mate. Again, one small aspect of healthy interdependence. Do men feel not needed by women that do not require their manly assistance? Some men, perhaps, but, IME, it's more an aspect of not being wanted that affects the male psyche. Most men define that want and satisfy it through action. Is it insulting to men to not need them for trival or physical deeds? IMO, not insulting. I can't think of a negative word that would apply. It would be the same as a man not 'needing' a woman for traditional female roles, say, like cooking, sewing, ironing, bed-making, bathroom cleaning, laundry, etc, etc. The trick is, again, healthy interdependence. If the roles are more blurred, each partner has to be more proactive in using their strengths to reinforce the dynamic of the couple. We talked a lot about the languages of love in MC and how actions are intended and perceived. This dynamic was another element of compatibility. The concept was how we feel when performing such actions and how that matches up with our partner feeling having them performed, and vice-versa. Communication is essential. If there is enough of a disconnect and hence, a great need for communication, then, as in our case, incompatibility rears its head. A good relationship shouldn't be a lot of work. FWIW, my mom was a lot like you describe. Very independent. Mowed her own lawn until she stroked out at 80. She and my dad got on fine because they understood the value of independence and self-suffiiciency as well as the concept of interdependence. They each utilized and valued the strengths of the other and made the best use of them. Hope that helps
JohnnyBlaze Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 What's that old expression? "Women want to be wanted, men need to be needed." Yeah, we like adding value to the relationship. We want to be useful, and not just arm candy. It's not a case of want a girl who can't do anything for herself. It's about accomplishing things and knowing that doing these things makes her happy. Sometimes we like being able to say "hey, I did that for her!"
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