DaGmen Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 I am newbie to the site, but not to the dating scene. I am of East Indian descent and mostly date Indian women. My dating mode for the last 5 years or so has all been about finding "Mrs. Right" not "Mrs. Right Now". I have all my Sh_t together, job, money, home everything. Only part missing is someone special to share it with. Thus whenever I date someone it is with intention and hope of getting married to that person, some point down the road. So I just started seeing a girl from NYC, she is born and raised on the west coast. I am in my late 30s she is in her mid 30s. We have gone out twice so far and we have really hit it off! I really like her a lot. It does not take me long to draw a conclusion. She is really pretty, has an awesome smile that I just love! She has very good career going. She has a great sense of humor. She loves to play golf, just like me! I don’t need anything more than all of this. To me it’s that simple, I don’t think it has to be any more complicated than this. After each of our dates I followed up with a text message telling her how much fun I had and that I can’t wait to see her again. She responded, eventually, if not right away with something positive. After our second date I had so much fun and just loved the whole afternoon that we spent together! I decided to send her an E-Card stating how much I like her and that any guy should be so lucky to find someone as nice as her. She replied after seeing my email and said thanks and that was very sweet of me. That was about it, she did not say much more than that. I tend to be a little insecure, as I have been rejected one time too many. I am the glass is half empty type guy so my mind races off into the negative thoughts rather quickly! Once I start seeing someone like this I like to chat with them often and keep in touch. However since I met her she has not called me at all. The only time we have spoken on the phone is on the day of our dates and we are calling to just find out where we are and stuff like that. I sent her an email a couple of weeks ago asking her do you prefer to just chat via email or can I call you? She said no you can call me whenever you like. I have exchanged quite a few text messages that last week and kind of flirted with her, but she has not sent me back any "flirty" messages? One thing I forgot to mention, I am brutally honest with girls when I go out with them. I am strong believer that honesty is the best policy. So I like to just come out and tell the girl how much I like her, point blank! Long and short of it...I want to know if this girl likes me as much as I do her. Do I make my usual move and tell her exactly how I feel about her or do I just keep my mouth shut? Oh BTW, next week, I am going to be relocating to the west coast. Thus this will become a long distance thing just for more fun! Thanks to all that reply! Be gentle....I’m a newbie!
Mel-Logan Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 Hi, You've done and are currently doing several things wrong: Never be too honest too soon. Sounds like you freaked her out. Basically you put it all out there. You should have made her try to figure you out! You have to play it cool and relax. No more eCards and flirty messages. Again play it cool and relax. Actually no more text messages until she messages you. In a few days or so call her and invite her out. Be confident. She already likes you because she went out with you! Rejection will happen, but never take it personal. Smile and move on.
Author DaGmen Posted June 10, 2009 Author Posted June 10, 2009 Hi, You've done and are currently doing several things wrong: Never be too honest too soon. Sounds like you freaked her out. Basically you put it all out there. You should have made her try to figure you out! You have to play it cool and relax. No more eCards and flirty messages. Again play it cool and relax. Actually no more text messages until she messages you. In a few days or so call her and invite her out. Be confident. She already likes you because she went out with you! Rejection will happen, but never take it personal. Smile and move on. One thing I want to make clear I have not verbally told her, how much I like her. I just did that via the E-Card and text message. My question was this next weekend maybe the last time I see her for a while coz of my move. So do I tell her that I like her a lot or not? Do I apply my honesty here at this juncture? Oh yes, I know all about rejection and it does not bother me. I move on very quickly. Thanks again and keep the feedback coming!
Author DaGmen Posted June 11, 2009 Author Posted June 11, 2009 anyone else? any more thoughts/suggestions? I would love to hear some more opinions.
itgirlragdoll Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 Yeah the card thing is a bit much. If, after a second date, I got a mushy e-card from a guy stating how much he likes me (and I guess this depends on what you wrote in the said card), I would be a little freaked out. Too much too soon. Nice gestures like that are great, but save them for once you've gotten to know each other better.
Author DaGmen Posted June 11, 2009 Author Posted June 11, 2009 Well she did like the E-card, she did give me a nice quick, short note saying it was sweet. But it sounds like the early results are that I should back off and slow down? My insecurity is really the source of my problems here...I guess going to have to fight off my urge to say something "too heavy" this weekend?
itgirlragdoll Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 Well she did like the E-card, she did give me a nice quick, short note saying it was sweet. But it sounds like the early results are that I should back off and slow down? My insecurity is really the source of my problems here...I guess going to have to fight off my urge to say something "too heavy" this weekend? Of course she told you she liked it, what was she going to say, "hey, that card you sent me really freaked me out,"? Even though you're looking for a potential life partner, telling any woman too much after only a couple dates, is asking for trouble. Trust me.
Author DaGmen Posted June 15, 2009 Author Posted June 15, 2009 Of course she told you she liked it, what was she going to say, "hey, that card you sent me really freaked me out,"? Even though you're looking for a potential life partner, telling any woman too much after only a couple dates, is asking for trouble. Trust me. I went out with her yesterday and I apologized for the E-Card. She said I was a little taken aback by the card, but it was sweet. I said I'm sorry I sent it out, I knew it was too soon, right after I sent it out. Lesson learned here, wont be making that mistake again! The date went really well, and we shall see what the future holds...
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