fabulous_chk Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 FIRST OF ALL, Wooo-hooooo! I'm ALMOST OVER MY EX!!!!:bunny: Three months after the break-up (a four year relationship), I'm falling in love with a new guy. Like, my mind right now is 90% on him, and not the ex. I'm obsessing, needing, wanting him, playing love songs, excited, scared, happy, etc etc. I've been told that it could end badly (we are FWBs right now). At first I didn't care I just wanted to get over the ex. But now I'm scared I messed this up. Should I continue this, or should I back off? (I don't wanna back off because the ex is luring me into this "friendship" thing which is seductive and painful at the same time).
Soul Bear Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 It could very well be a rebound romance....only you know that one tho My ex was pretty much my rebound R from my previous ex and visa versa. We were just going to be FWB, then fell in love, got engaged....4.5 years later she left If you are not over your ex yet, then I suggest you back off a bit til you are sure that's what you want. Sounds to me like you are usaing this to help you get over your ex, which isnt right as you are not dealing with the pain
jlr Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 my ex is doing the same thing now with a new guy. she's never let the pain pass. it's gotten to be too much for her, so she decided this was an easier way to go. now she won't have to think about us, and i'll fade out because there's a new dude in the picture. but, what happens when there's problems in the new relationship, or you start to realize things about the last one, or all that unresolved pain comes crashing? it could ruin what you have with the new person. i think it's not fair to you or the new person to persue it, unless you feel you're totally over the last one.
Soul Bear Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 I can say for one, after our 13 month honeymoon perio (yup it was long!) That my insecurities cam out from my lest ex cheating on me. I became insecure. JLR- You left her or the other way around?
Soul Bear Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 Yeah I just read your story.... That sucks bro, that really sucks... Im so sorry man
Author fabulous_chk Posted June 11, 2009 Author Posted June 11, 2009 I will be careful...it's just too amazing to find a new guy 3 months after a break-up. It's awesome!!!
Steadfast Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 I will be careful...it's just too amazing to find a new guy 3 months after a break-up. It's awesome!!! I'll try not to tell you things you already know. I went on my first 'rebound' date about three months after my break up too. Nothing makes the pain of a ex go away better or faster than the affection of another person. And although Miss Rebound was very pretty, smart and spoiled me, after awhile *her* issues came to light and I had new problems. Having tried that, I am now alone, by choice. There's a very pretty lady working at the local grocery that chats me up (did I mention she's pretty?) and although I'm tempted, I'm just not ready. One year after the breakup. I came thisclose to asking for her number when I was buying goodies for my little niece Sunday, but I didn't. I walked out shaking my head. Ugh. If it feels good and he's nice, then full speed ahead! Still, ask yourself (and be honest...if you're not, it's a worthless exercise) if you could be happy alone. If the thought scares you, you might in love with being in love... ...and it won't work. Blessings!
Cora Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 You know I think I'm going through the exact same thing! What is up with the three month mark? Like three months exactly after my ex left me I met this new and amazing guy who just made me forget about him completely!! I'm actually scared that I'm falling too fast for him. It also scares me that I'm falling this quickly when I really don't know what he wants? I'm thinking our relationship is only a FWB one but hoping it is or could be so much more someday! Either way I can't help but think I'm going to end up hurt again. My ex also came back and wanted a friendship with me after three months of NC. Silly me agrees but once he found him a new girlfriend he dropped me like a hot potato! Guess he can't handle a friend and a girlfriend. Needless to say I'm back at a week of NC again come Friday and I plan to stay that way! Anyway, that just made me want to forget about him and continue things with this new guy even more! I so hope it doesn't end badly but I can't help but have that fear in the back of my mind. I'm thinking I may have to have that dreaded talk with him soon....ughh. Right now I'm just trying to enjoy things while I can because he makes me really happy! I don't know what the future brings but I'm trying not to worry about it too much.
Author fabulous_chk Posted June 13, 2009 Author Posted June 13, 2009 thanks for replying cora. i'm actually in a freaking out mode. i can't sleep i want to be with this new guy. i'm losing my mind.
Tizzy Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 "I'm obsessing, needing, wanting him" That's a problem. You barely know the guy. Everything you claim to be falling in love with is what you're seeing thru rose-colored glasses. Hang out with the guy, have fun, get to know him well before handing your heart over to him. Otherwise you're just setting yourself up for some major heartbreak and psycho tendencies. There is no reason you should be obsessing over a guy you just met, no matter how great the "chemistry" feels.
BearPower Posted June 13, 2009 Posted June 13, 2009 Aaagh! Steve! I need you my friend! Compared to this new guy, falling in love with you was smooth sailing! This one is driving me insane. I feel so petrified. I miss you! Wanna cuddle with you. You were my home. You ARE NOT ready for this new guy yet....You still hold that torch for your ex. You are using this new guy as a tool to help combat your lonlieness, and your heartbreak. PLEASE for your own good, cease contact with them both, and explain to your 'new guy' the situation and how you feel. If he is caring he will understand. But as I see it, yu are going to end up getting hurt, or gurting the new guy. I know you can do it
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