Left in a Lurch Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 The first thing you say is something like "hello, this is XXX, how are you?" Let her respond and then ask right away if she has time to talk. If she says no, I just say something like I'll call her around 7:00 (or whatever time) and she'll tell you if that is a bad time. If she says 7:00ish is not good, I ask her when is a good time. If I don't get a specific answer, I know where I stand. Don't be too eager and that'll work pretty well.
Author 39388 Posted June 12, 2009 Author Posted June 12, 2009 The first thing you say is something like "hello, this is XXX, how are you?" Let her respond and then ask right away if she has time to talk. If she says no, I just say something like I'll call her around 7:00 (or whatever time) and she'll tell you if that is a bad time. If she says 7:00ish is not good, I ask her when is a good time. If I don't get a specific answer, I know where I stand. Don't be too eager and that'll work pretty well. I've gotten people mad at me when I ask them whether they have time to talk. I'm very wary of doing that. I think being nervous may be a bigger problem than I thought. Maybe a lot of women think nervous is creepy or somthing. I really don't understand.
Author 39388 Posted June 12, 2009 Author Posted June 12, 2009 It's failing because you're dicking around. It never gets to 'feel right' any more than it already is right. Also, don't ask them out, that's like issuing an ultimatum. Say something like "I'm going to ________ this _________, if you want to join me I think we'd have fun." Something like this says YOU know what you're doing and you'd like to share it with her, not that you're a lost puppy who is putting his plans on hold hoping she'll drop an attention crumb your way. If she says she'll think about it, tell her you'll call back or give your number. If she turns you down, say "Ah well, I guess I'll have all the fun without you then" or something like that. Good luck. I thought women want to be asked out. The tone of my voice screams that "I just want a crumb of her attention" no matter how hard I try to hide it. Maybe that's why I can't seem to talk to anyone for more than 45 seconds. They know I'm "desperate" by the time I get "hello" out and I'm already crossed off their list.
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