zhsoj Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 Going along with some of the recent questions regarding dating and "shy guys", I ask you women: What is it about shy guys that you don't like?
MusicChick24 Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 I guess I would have to say that they don't go for what they want. Now, don't get me wrong I HATE guys that persue women like deer, but I have so many shy male friends who like a girl but are too afraid to even say one word to her.
Jersey Shortie Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 I think there are probably alot of women that like shy guys. The thing is being shy makes it hard to talk to them. I personally prefer someone a little more out going then myself. Someone who will do a little guiding. But that's just because of my own personal personality. I think alot of girls can think shy guys are endearing or sexy depending. I know alot of girls that mooned over the quite types in high school and college.
Thornton Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 Truthfully? The sex. Shy guys are fine to date; they're sweet, unassuming, sometimes a little difficult to talk to but generally very endearing. In the bedroom is where it all goes wrong. They haven't got the nerve to take charge and be forceful and manly, they're like scared little rabbits. I'm the female and I don't want to be the dominant partner in bed, I want a real man!
Isolde Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 As someone who's pretty much half introvert and half extrovert, I feel that I'm at my best when around people that are fairly extroverted, that bring out that side of me. That's doesn't mean I necessarily want to date alpha males or that I don't like shy guys (in fact, I've crushed on far more shy guys than outgoing guys). It just means that someone who's totally wrapped up in his own world, someone who doesn't show a whole lot of initiative, isn't someone I'll generally be into. To catch my interest, all a shy guy needs to do is ask me out, though. It's totally cute, and would let me know his shyness isn't deep-cutting, in that he'll go after something he wants.
EddieN Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 Truthfully? The sex. Shy guys are fine to date; they're sweet, unassuming, sometimes a little difficult to talk to but generally very endearing. In the bedroom is where it all goes wrong. They haven't got the nerve to take charge and be forceful and manly, they're like scared little rabbits. I'm the female and I don't want to be the dominant partner in bed, I want a real man! Can't speak for other shy guys, but the next girl I get in bed, no f'ing way am I being a scared little rabbit.
Trialbyfire Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 I like men who know what they want and aren't afraid to go get it. This includes sports, school, career, romantic interests, whatever. It also includes the ability to clearly communicate without needing me to pull teeth or to create a safe harbour. I did find it kind of flattering and adorable when this sweet young thing, got himself transferred when I moved from one office to another, a number of years ago. He claimed he liked to talk hockey with me so he got himself transferred to the department close to my new office.
Author zhsoj Posted June 10, 2009 Author Posted June 10, 2009 Truthfully? The sex. Shy guys are fine to date; they're sweet, unassuming, sometimes a little difficult to talk to but generally very endearing. In the bedroom is where it all goes wrong. They haven't got the nerve to take charge and be forceful and manly, they're like scared little rabbits. I'm the female and I don't want to be the dominant partner in bed, I want a real man! Understandable. Is it the getting into bed part or once there part? If it's the actual act then did you talk to him about it? Or give it any time? I ask because I'm shy at times, but I'm no push-over. However I'm an older virgin so I not only don't know how to get into the bedroom but I'm not sure what the hell to expect once I get there. Even so, give me a little time and I am supremely confident that I'd get over it rather quickly. Especially if she was honest with me and gave me a little encouragement.
fabulous_chk Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 Love shy guys! They are sooooo adorable. The guy I'm dating is verrry introverted, I just wanna pinch him and kiss him and make him come out of his shell. He is soooooo cute! :love::love::love::love::love: The shy smile does it for me. My heart flips over when I see it.
MN randomguy Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 I think the problem is that the shy guy moves too slow. The sisterhood takes over. Whether you like him or not, by the time he makes a move your friends have already told you what to do.
MissHollywood Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 I like shy guys. I would also be the first to admit I like nice guys. But shy guys, who are too shy to initiate contact or ask me out, makes it difficult for me to get to know them. Even if the girls are bold enough to initiate a conversation, the shy guys may still be too shy to offer much.
JustLooking123 Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 They are too difficult to read. Like it or not, it is typical in our society for the man to (usually) make the first move. Shy guys, in my experience, have been reluctant to do this, which led to confusion about whether or not they even liked me.
Thornton Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 Understandable. Is it the getting into bed part or once there part? If it's the actual act then did you talk to him about it? Or give it any time? I ask because I'm shy at times, but I'm no push-over. However I'm an older virgin so I not only don't know how to get into the bedroom but I'm not sure what the hell to expect once I get there. Even so, give me a little time and I am supremely confident that I'd get over it rather quickly. Especially if she was honest with me and gave me a little encouragement. Um... all of it really. I dated a few shy guys and I found in general they didn't make a move on me and I usually had to initiate things, they were kind of reserved and didn't totally ravish me with wild abandon, they were very quiet during sex and didn't make any noise or talk dirty, they took no initiative and never said "let's try this", never brought any sex toys home, never suggested doing it anywhere other than the bedroom... I just got bored with being in charge all the time, I wanted to be totally ravished by someone who found me irresistible and the shy guys never really seemed to express much desire or forcefulness. I much prefer a confident man who will throw me on the sofa and give me a damn good seeing to! ETA: I tried my best with the shy guys I dated, but the sex never really improved - when it came down to it they were shy guys at heart and were never going to be the sort of guy who would throw me on the sofa and ravish me. I dated four different shy guys for three years, two years, six months, and two years respectively... the relationships lasted because I liked each of them as a person, but me not enjoying sex was one of the big factors in every breakup. My current bf is very good at the ravishing
BobSacamento Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 Um... all of it really. I dated a few shy guys and I found in general they didn't make a move on me and I usually had to initiate things, they were kind of reserved and didn't totally ravish me with wild abandon, they were very quiet during sex and didn't make any noise or talk dirty, they took no initiative and never said "let's try this", never brought any sex toys home, never suggested doing it anywhere other than the bedroom... I just got bored with being in charge all the time, I wanted to be totally ravished by someone who found me irresistible and the shy guys never really seemed to express much desire or forcefulness. I much prefer a confident man who will throw me on the sofa and give me a damn good seeing to! ETA: I tried my best with the shy guys I dated, but the sex never really improved - when it came down to it they were shy guys at heart and were never going to be the sort of guy who would throw me on the sofa and ravish me. I dated four different shy guys for three years, two years, six months, and two years respectively... the relationships lasted because I liked each of them as a person, but me not enjoying sex was one of the big factors in every breakup. My current bf is very good at the ravishing Long story short...........BORING I tend to be shy but I understand that comes off as extremely boring. So when I do speak I try to make it as entertaining/funny as possible.
Ruby Slippers Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 I am a softie for shy guys, BUT they have to have enough confidence to approach me in the first place and to throw down in bed. As long as they can do those two things, we're good to go.
mortensorchid Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 Shy guys? Introverted types have a certain mystery about them, wondering "What's he hiding?" But in the end, introverted or shy guys usually end up being weak people who don't go after what they want because they are afraid of rejection.
t0ri Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 Women like to be pursued. They like to know very well when someone is interested in them, and I don't think shy guys know how to handle that. Shy guys are probably a little unsure of themselves or what they should do when it comes to dating. They question themselves, and hold back, leaving girls bored or not feeling interested in. Typically speaking, of course. I wouldn't mind giving a shy guy a chance to come out of his shell, but I'd definitely get irritated if he never took any initiative or charge or gained any confidence.
lab_brat Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 They're useless! You like them, think they like you, you ask him out to coffee, have a great time, then nothing! They're perfectly willing to reciprocate, yet completely unable to instigate. Its like having a child, you constantly need to do everything, be everything, and they just hide behind shyness coz they're too lazy to bother or too scared of rejection to try. Everyone is scared of rejection, but occasionally you need to just grit your teeth and put yourself out there, even when it all turns to crap.
hoping2heal Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 Going along with some of the recent questions regarding dating and "shy guys", I ask you women: What is it about shy guys that you don't like? I think it boils down too..inherently women are attracted to masculinity, just like men are attracted to feminity. Of course, there always those exceptions that happen where the man prefers masculinity, and the woman prefers feminity, but being shy isn't a dominately masculine trait and I think it's a turn off.
Author zhsoj Posted June 11, 2009 Author Posted June 11, 2009 They're useless! You like them, think they like you, you ask him out to coffee, have a great time, then nothing! They're perfectly willing to reciprocate, yet completely unable to instigate. Its like having a child, you constantly need to do everything, be everything, and they just hide behind shyness coz they're too lazy to bother or too scared of rejection to try. Everyone is scared of rejection, but occasionally you need to just grit your teeth and put yourself out there, even when it all turns to crap. That's funny... I dated a girl that almost never instigated. Of course I think that had more to do with a lack of interest on her part than anything else... But I do know what you are talking about as I have guy friends that are so incredibly shy they could be asked out by a great girl and they STILL would be so closed they wouldn't reciprocate. I've tried helping them along but I'm afraid it's a bit hopeless... I think that's the extreme end though.
MrGeorge Posted July 5, 2009 Posted July 5, 2009 hi, I can see how it can be frustrating dealing with someone shy or seemingly aloof. I might start off a bit shy but evenually loosen up depending how much i know the person. But I wasn't going to a be a catch22 case.
runner Posted July 5, 2009 Posted July 5, 2009 Shy guys? Introverted types have a certain mystery about them, wondering "What's he hiding?" But in the end, introverted or shy guys usually end up being weak people who don't go after what they want because they are afraid of rejection. this seems quite perceptive. i know a few guys who fit this profile.
likeORIGAMI Posted July 5, 2009 Posted July 5, 2009 Shy guys are generally not assertive; it would be like dating a another woman.
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