JohnP82 Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Carhill I get what you're saying. What I'm trying to understand is how a woman can hop into bed with a stranger (who i presume she has no feelings for) yet hold off with her boyfriend (who I would hope that she has feelings for).
carhill Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 It's essentially the same "why" as why you would bang one woman the night you meet her in the bar and not be the least bit interested in the woman sitting right next to her. Do you see the psychology of that? The key here is not to assign all these deep meanings to a woman's psychology, like "feelings". Sometimes they want a bag of chips and sometimes they want a 5 course meal and own the table for the night. It's all eating
rod_in_gtown Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 What I'm most concerned about is how I will react to an opportunity if I'm nearing 40 and am still a virgin. The emotional pull toward breaking it might be so strong that I might do it earlier in a relationship than I might have intended otherwise. "You're putting the p*ssy on a pedestal" - 40 year old virgin movie. I lost my virginity at 20 or 21 (can't remember exactly), and back then it was very important to me the whole love issue. I did it with a friend, it was nice, we wore protection, we might've dated except we lived in different cities back then, and we still talk every now and then. Now after being married and having had several long term relationships, I am way more relaxed about sex than I was before. It provides such pleasure to both parties and it does enhance healthy relationships. I would do it on a 1st date but usually happens around the 3rd-ish date. One unusual thing about me. I like to be very physical but no intercourse the first time we do it. To me is easier to proceed to intercourse on the following date. There's some familiarity at this point and we can both be comfortable and enjoy the sensations and nuances of each other.
rod_in_gtown Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 It's essentially the same "why" as why you would bang one woman the night you meet her in the bar and not be the least bit interested in the woman sitting right next to her. Do you see the psychology of that? The key here is not to assign all these deep meanings to a woman's psychology, like "feelings". Sometimes they want a bag of chips and sometimes they want a 5 course meal and own the table for the night. It's all eating Both literally and figuratively! :lmao:
Els Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 However, the fact is that proper attention to birth control (for example pills plus condoms) can be 99.9%+ effective at preventing pregnancy so if you are really depriving yourself of something you want out of fear of an event that has <0.01% chance of happening you are either overly paranoid, grossly misinformed, or using the "pregnancy" issue to justify asexuality and prudishness. Again, if that's what you want, fine, but don't pretend it's something else. Ehhh, I wouldn't consider it 'over-paranoia' in my case. Abortions are illegal here, so if I were to really get pregnant I would either need to sneak into some underground unregistered clinic and get an illegal one (and probably die since there are no safety regulations) or carry the child to term, have my parents disown me, and drop out of university (because my parents sponsor me). Not to mention the baby would probably die after that since our welfare system is screwed. Given such grave consequences, I think 0.01% chance is entirely too high. My bf views sex as a commitment as well and does not want to deflower a girl til marriage is at least in clear and close sight. So that goes well. Just not having intercourse (I assume that's what the OP means by sex) doesn't mean that a couple need be sexually deprived, though. We've probably done everything but, and I can trust myself to say on his behalf that he really enjoys his sex life.
rod_in_gtown Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 Ehhh, I wouldn't consider it 'over-paranoia' in my case. Abortions are illegal here, so if I were to really get pregnant I would either need to sneak into some underground unregistered clinic and get an illegal one (and probably die since there are no safety regulations) or carry the child to term, have my parents disown me, and drop out of university (because my parents sponsor me). Not to mention the baby would probably die after that since our welfare system is screwed. Given such grave consequences, I think 0.01% chance is entirely too high. aaaaaand here's why Roe v. wade is SO important. It's still beyond me how "pro-lifers" don't get it and are constantly lobbying to have it overturned.
Els Posted July 10, 2009 Posted July 10, 2009 *shrugs* Tell that to my Muslim government. I'm surprised I'm still free to post this on the Internet. Hopefully I'll be outta there when they start to develop sufficient technology to crank down...
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