amythan Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 Hi, I think i need to share this and feel i am not the freak i am ... Two years ago i was going out with a guy who broke my heart. I was going through a very difficult period in my life and i guess this was part of the reason i developed these deep feelings. We had the greatest time ever but due to different reasons (distance, age difference) he decided he didn't want a halfhearted relationship and disapeared. Perhaps he was just not interested, who knows .. I made all the imaginable mistakes, begging, crying, calling .. and he was sweet and caring. We keep some contact and during the last year i was doing fine and happy. Last week we met for drinks, we are not living in the same town so we rarely see each other. This was the fist time we hang out after we broke out. And we laughed, and talked and .. slept together. I felt so sad, i cannot feel anymore this irrational joy, the feeling that my life stops because he is with me ... Now i know it is over but my heart hurts because he didn't call me after. Again the same thing. Why he slept with me knowing how much time it toke me to be recovered ? He could sleep with anyone but why is he messing with my head again ? I am feeling so stupid, used, dirty and terribly sad. It was two years ago, i was doing fine and now everything is starting again ... Sorry for this long post, but write the full story make me feel bit better ..
Girlygal Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 You are not a freak, you heart is broken and someone that you dearly care for is not reciprocating that love and it hurts, terribly. Dry your tears and hold your head high, you got over him once you can do it again. But remember YOU ARE NOT A FREAK, you are a human being with a heart and soul and that is nothing to be ashamed of!
SweetyBear Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 No, you're definitely not a freak. It's easy to do something just to feel good again. To make sure it doesn't happen again, maybe you should think about not meeting up with him for any reason? It's so hard to know what to do, but you have to look after you. He's not.
coconuts Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 You are not a freak. Those feelings are normal. Almost the exact same thing happened to me. Guy was my "dream man" we had a great time (but no sex) for a while then he cut off all contact for no reason...Then came back a year later apologizing saying how he was going through a rough time, etc. and wanted to try again. We started seeing each other and after the 3rd date I slept with him. He never called me again after that. I felt totally used and disgusting. It took me a long time to even look at myself in the mirror after that. He was only the second person I'd ever slept with and I thought there was more to it than it was...I'd have never agreed to be a booty call. To be honest, I'm with a great guy now, this was over 5 years ago...but it still bothers me sometimes. Being used is the worst feeling in the world. I'm so sorry that you are hurting.
Author amythan Posted June 9, 2009 Author Posted June 9, 2009 Yeah, i know it is normal but i just felt so used and guilty ... I decided to do it so i am responsible as well ... Just though he wouldn't dare to do it if his intention was disappear again. He knows how much he hurts me so it was no need to take again advantage of this. Reality proves me wrong. I was just too stupid to realize he just wanted to have sex and i was the easiest at this time. It serves me right.
Taucher Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 For what it's worth...I think that HE is the freak. How lacking in self-respect is he, if he can do that to you? What you are feeling is normal and natural, what he is feeling is CONFUSED and probably he is feeling a bit of self loathing now he has got what he wanted. You are too good for him. I also know you are normal because my gf left me 3 weeks ago and, to be honest, if she wanted a night of passion, I would do it no questions asked. And I'M normal. Sorta. Take care.
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