WineCountry Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 I just won't be totally happy with myself until I achieve that look; lightskin, refined features. Once I do, then I'll be happy and content. I notice how all the fairer complected girls seem happier because they get more attention from black guys. Even in clubs, they are able to enjoy themselves because of the amount of acceptance they get. Megan you ever thought of dating outside your race? I am lightskinned, and therefore you may think i have it good, but i have issues like anyone else. I see the black guys that chase after white or hispanic women, and over look black women. (lightskinned OR darkskinned) Black men like that are WEAK, Megan. They allow society's images to make them look down on their own kind. I am repulsed by them. I dont TRY to go after them. They are not worthy. I can get just as many white men to look at me as black men. As a matter of fact, I tend to have more similiar interests with white men. And stupid me, my last relationship was with a white man, and it could have led to much more more, but i didnt feel the same way...at the time. Now I kick myself because my head was not in the right place, and now he has found someone else. Im open minded when it comes to dating. I prefer my own, but i will date outside my race. Black, white, hispanic, etc. If black men act like that towards you, open up your dating pool to include other races. That's what i do. You may find someone else who will love and appreciate, and be intrigued by your dark skin. I KNOW what you are experiencing, Megan. We lightskinned women feel that too, believe it or not. We see what is going on. I honestly feel when I finally DO find THE one, he will not be black. Not because I choose that, but because I feel a non black man will be the one who will see what i have to offer, while a black man runs around trying to validate himself somehow by chasing white women. Like I said, I have gotten more interests/compliments from white men than black. Broaden your horizons..life is short.
DMoon Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 Yep, I know I get looked over specifically because I am dark. One guy in my classes did not talk to darkskin girls, only the lightskin ones Yes. I do understand your angst. I have a cousin that was mistreated because she was dark with strong Afrocentric features, by family and the community at large while her sister who was light was treated very well and also managed to snag a well to do Doctor. Still light skinned women hardly get a pass from Black men or any race of man for that matter. If anything relaxed Interracial relations of some groups have made it possible for Black men to side step Light skinned women altogther and date up with White, Hispanic or Asian women, thus prospects are poor for Black women no matter what the shade. In fact it is worse. As others have mentioned, if you are stunning then you might want to consider a non-Black man. Grant it, most Whites do find Black repulsive and make no bones about it, but there are some that do find dark skinned Black women attractive even more so then light skinned Black women. In fact they may be passed over in favor of velvet black skin—assuming of course that they don’t have a creepy skin fetish. I would also suggest taking a sabbatical to Europe (if you can manage it either through study abroad programs), preferably France, Germany or even Sweden and your self esteem will vastly improve. Two acquaintances of mine who do some business in Europe were frankly stunned by the attention they got from some of the European men. I would also suggest looking at stunning from Africa such as Senegal, the Ivory Coast, the Fulani (African tribe reknowned for beautiful women), etc These women are beyond beautiful, dark and thus you should be proud of who you are and stop trying to conform to ridiculous standards from Black or White men.
Lindarose84 Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 Well, I'd rather risk skin cancer than be extremely dark which I think makes me invisible and incredibly unattractive to black men. Hmm, with this statement alone, there is really nothing anyone on this board can say that will help you with your issues with your skin color. You keep telling yourself it's your skin color that's keeping men at bay. I promise you- it's not. Stop going after the guys that don't appreciate you for who you are- if you do, you'll be one of those chicks that wears makeup to bed because she doesn't want her bf/husband to see what she really looks like. Different men like different things- if you can't find what you're looking for in your community, LOOK OUTSIDE YOUR COMMUNITY. The world is your oyster. Please get help for your self hatred- it's really not an attractive trait. I was just reading some crap about Carrie Prejean (the notorious miss california, I'm embarassed I know ). Anyway. Appearances-wise, she's nothing short of a perfect specimen of a woman - absolutely spectacular body, face, hair, everything. Perfect? She obviously didn't think so with all the work she had done on her appearance. Have you actually seen pictures of her before she became "famous"? She was nothing to write home about. I would rate her "real" appearance a solid 6.
Lindarose84 Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 Megan you ever thought of dating outside your race? I am lightskinned, and therefore you may think i have it good, but i have issues like anyone else. I see the black guys that chase after white or hispanic women, and over look black women. (lightskinned OR darkskinned) Black men like that are WEAK, Megan. They allow society's images to make them look down on their own kind. I am repulsed by them. I dont TRY to go after them. They are not worthy. I can get just as many white men to look at me as black men. As a matter of fact, I tend to have more similiar interests with white men. And stupid me, my last relationship was with a white man, and it could have led to much more more, but i didnt feel the same way...at the time. Now I kick myself because my head was not in the right place, and now he has found someone else. Im open minded when it comes to dating. I prefer my own, but i will date outside my race. Black, white, hispanic, etc. If black men act like that towards you, open up your dating pool to include other races. That's what i do. You may find someone else who will love and appreciate, and be intrigued by your dark skin. I KNOW what you are experiencing, Megan. We lightskinned women feel that too, believe it or not. We see what is going on. I honestly feel when I finally DO find THE one, he will not be black. Not because I choose that, but because I feel a non black man will be the one who will see what i have to offer, while a black man runs around trying to validate himself somehow by chasing white women. Like I said, I have gotten more interests/compliments from white men than black. Broaden your horizons..life is short. Ok this is the perfect response and I couldn't have said it better myself. You shouldn't hate yourself Meagan, instead hate the losers who are making you feel that way. Find better and more worthy men. They are out there and will appreciate you for who you are. Light skinned black women don't have it THAT much better because those black men you're so keen about will probably pass over that light skinned black woman if a white woman gave them a passing glance. To them, they've "arrived" if they can date a white woman. It's about status to them. These are the turds you want to avoid. They're bona fide losers in life anyway.
WineCountry Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 . As others have mentioned, if you are stunning then you might want to consider a non-Black man. Grant it, most Whites do find Black repulsive and make no bones about it, I havent seen that. I actually get MORE attention from whites. Go figure. In fact they may be passed over in favor of velvet black skin—assuming of course that they don’t have a creepy skin fetish. You sound like a black guy
Sam Spade Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 I'd hit Ms Prejean, no problem. Nah, the ending of "Grease" is on VH1. Olivia Newton-John in the final dances, now that's a classy broad . 50's were awesome, because women dressed like presents .
clv0116 Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 In fact they may be passed over in favor of velvet black skin ... Mmmmmm. I couldn't respond to that because every time I quoted it, I blacked out. So to speak.
Lucky_One Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 But I still feel like I need to work on my outward appearance more. I feel that if I were lighter with keener features I'd get the acceptance I want from men It worked for Michael Jackson (although he was aiming more for young boys than for men). Go for it. Everybody loves a freak.
Samari Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 Looks matter yes, but if the person you are into just doesn't have a good personality, or rather one that clicks with yours, doesn't share the same interests, or is just an *******/bitch, I bet you 90% of the time it won't work out. And the the OP, please DATE OUTSIDE OF YOUR RACE. You are black correct? So am I, and I'm tired of hearing about black women complaining about black men and the lack of attention they get from them. There are a large amount of black men that have just grown up differently and have different perspectives of life. I don't see why some black females feel the need to be morally obligated to black men...especially when there are men that aren't black that will treat them WAY better. It's just stupid.
sb129 Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 I am fairly average in appearance (with fantastic legs and boobies ), but above average in intelligence and personality. I have never had a problem attracting handsome, quality guys who fall head over heels for me. I could obsess about my flaws and imperfections, and sometimes I did when I was a teenager, but at a certain point, you have to figure out that the best you can do is to work with what you've got. You need to work on your attitude more than anything. Great post Ruby. I shouldn't have to though...I'm an arm candy kind of girl. That's like Seth Rogan dating a gorgeous supermodel...rarely happens. High opinion of oneself much? Sheesh. That statement says it all. Your posts lovestruck make me wonder if maybe you and Meagan might be projecting your own issues onto the male gender. Since you put so much emphasis on their looks, is it possible you're shortchanging them and assume they're only interested in your looks? That maybe you don't spend enough time developping other aspects of the relationship on the first few dates? totally agree..... Are you freaking serious! You're going to get uneven pigmentation and will cause your skin permanent damage, even if you don't notice it right away. Yup. that's only if you use the wrong products that will give you a bad reaction to your skin. Besides, I've been bleaching since I was a teenager 16, and have pretty nice skin with no problems. But the stuff I use does not make me light enough, I want to be a totally different color, several shades lighter so I can attract more black men since they love light complected women. What about the rest of your body? Are you using it all over? Well, I'd rather risk skin cancer than be extremely dark which I think makes me invisible and incredibly unattractive to black men. Great. Just great. Another self absorbed comment. Quite a few people on LS have been directly affected by cancer. Its an HORRIFIC disease, and if I had any respect for you before, it would have been blown away by this pathetic comment. Grow up. I don't think its a mystery you are single. Not at all.. in fact where do i start? I was just reading some crap about Carrie Prejean (the notorious miss california, I'm embarassed I know ). Anyway. Appearances-wise, she's nothing short of a perfect specimen of a woman - absolutely spectacular body, face, hair, everything. Yet when trying to picture her nekkid on the floor of my living room (don't ask ) there is something about her that makes my private parts shiver and retreat in panic instead of you-know-what . Bitch is dumb as a doorknob wrapped in grating personality, and while most guys would muster up/love a ONS with someone like her (who am I kidding ), many would cut off their dicks rather than entertain the thought of having an actual relationships with 'that' (and now I'm not kidding ). I'd hit Ms Prejean, no problem. :lmao:
Author MeaganRaye Posted June 11, 2009 Author Posted June 11, 2009 Megan you ever thought of dating outside your race? I am lightskinned, and therefore you may think i have it good, but i have issues like anyone else. I see the black guys that chase after white or hispanic women, and over look black women. (lightskinned OR darkskinned) Black men like that are WEAK, Megan. They allow society's images to make them look down on their own kind. I am repulsed by them. I dont TRY to go after them. They are not worthy. I can get just as many white men to look at me as black men. As a matter of fact, I tend to have more similiar interests with white men. And stupid me, my last relationship was with a white man, and it could have led to much more more, but i didnt feel the same way...at the time. Now I kick myself because my head was not in the right place, and now he has found someone else. Im open minded when it comes to dating. I prefer my own, but i will date outside my race. Black, white, hispanic, etc. If black men act like that towards you, open up your dating pool to include other races. That's what i do. You may find someone else who will love and appreciate, and be intrigued by your dark skin. I KNOW what you are experiencing, Megan. We lightskinned women feel that too, believe it or not. We see what is going on. I honestly feel when I finally DO find THE one, he will not be black. Not because I choose that, but because I feel a non black man will be the one who will see what i have to offer, while a black man runs around trying to validate himself somehow by chasing white women. Like I said, I have gotten more interests/compliments from white men than black. Broaden your horizons..life is short. I live in an area where there is not a lot of interracial dating. The few IR couples I see are between a black man and a White woman.(and that's not a whole lot) It's diverse but we don't communicate with each other. The college I attend has a lot of different ethnicities but they only hang with their own kind.
Author MeaganRaye Posted June 11, 2009 Author Posted June 11, 2009 Megan you ever thought of dating outside your race? I am lightskinned, and therefore you may think i have it good, but i have issues like anyone else. I see the black guys that chase after white or hispanic women, and over look black women. (lightskinned OR darkskinned) Black men like that are WEAK, Megan. They allow society's images to make them look down on their own kind. I am repulsed by them. I dont TRY to go after them. They are not worthy. I can get just as many white men to look at me as black men. As a matter of fact, I tend to have more similiar interests with white men. And stupid me, my last relationship was with a white man, and it could have led to much more more, but i didnt feel the same way...at the time. Now I kick myself because my head was not in the right place, and now he has found someone else. Im open minded when it comes to dating. I prefer my own, but i will date outside my race. Black, white, hispanic, etc. If black men act like that towards you, open up your dating pool to include other races. That's what i do. You may find someone else who will love and appreciate, and be intrigued by your dark skin. I KNOW what you are experiencing, Megan. We lightskinned women feel that too, believe it or not. We see what is going on. I honestly feel when I finally DO find THE one, he will not be black. Not because I choose that, but because I feel a non black man will be the one who will see what i have to offer, while a black man runs around trying to validate himself somehow by chasing white women. Like I said, I have gotten more interests/compliments from white men than black. Broaden your horizons..life is short. Wine, as a lightskin woman, have you ever been in a relationship with a black guy who always talked bad about dark women? did it bother you?
lovestruck818 Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 I live in an area where there is not a lot of interracial dating. The few IR couples I see are between a black man and a White woman.(and that's not a whole lot) It's diverse but we don't communicate with each other. The college I attend has a lot of different ethnicities but they only hang with their own kind. where the heck are you from? In my area we always hung out w/ people of different races. dating I can see it mattering, but for the purpose of friendship- I never understood why people only choose to hang out with their own races. I am white- I have friends of all races.
Author MeaganRaye Posted June 11, 2009 Author Posted June 11, 2009 where the heck are you from? In my area we always hung out w/ people of different races. dating I can see it mattering, but for the purpose of friendship- I never understood why people only choose to hang out with their own races. I am white- I have friends of all races. I am in Michigan.
Trialbyfire Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 Meagan, there's no hope for you so you might as well accept that you'll be single your entire life unless you save up for the 10 billion cosmetic surgeries, necessary to make you smoking hawt to your target audience.
Samari Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 I live in an area where there is not a lot of interracial dating. The few IR couples I see are between a black man and a White woman.(and that's not a whole lot) It's diverse but we don't communicate with each other. The college I attend has a lot of different ethnicities but they only hang with their own kind. So that means you have the follow the same lead? I mean it sounds like you are making excuses for yourself to justify your cynical view on things. It really sounds like you came here to vent your frustration instead of seek guidance.
Sam Spade Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 I'm white and typically not much attracted to black girls, but this has nothing to do with skin color per se - I like all skin (black, white, olive, asian, indian, latin, siberian, anywhere in between). I gues the typical facial features just don't trigger as much whatever it is that needs to be trigerred .
Author MeaganRaye Posted June 11, 2009 Author Posted June 11, 2009 So that means you have the follow the same lead? I mean it sounds like you are making excuses for yourself to justify your cynical view on things. It really sounds like you came here to vent your frustration instead of seek guidance. huh? I can't make somebody date me I wish I could.
Author MeaganRaye Posted June 11, 2009 Author Posted June 11, 2009 I'm white and typically not much attracted to black girls, but this has nothing to do with skin color per se - I like all skin (black, white, olive, asian, indian, latin, siberian, anywhere in between). I gues the typical facial features just don't trigger as much whatever it is that needs to be trigerred . Why would you come into this thread and say this? You come in here to remind me that there are people out there like you who think my features are ugly when I am struggling to accept myself is really mean spirited
Sam Spade Posted June 11, 2009 Posted June 11, 2009 Why would you come into this thread and say this? You come in here to remind me that there are people out there like you who think my features are ugly when I am struggling to accept myself is really mean spirited Geez, you really need to relax a bit. I neither said nor implied anything about 'ugly'. I'm also not particularly drawn to sport cars. Does that make them ugly, huh? (Most guys salivate over sport cars and would wonder what the hell is wrong with me.)
Samari Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 huh? I can't make somebody date me I wish I could. What does that have to do with not following the lead of the stigma of not dating someone who isn't of the same ethnicity as you are? By saying what you just said, you are assuming that everyone of a certain heritage/ethnicity is the same. And that isn't true.
Samari Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 Why would you come into this thread and say this? You come in here to remind me that there are people out there like you who think my features are ugly when I am struggling to accept myself is really mean spirited Just because you aren't attracted to someone doesn't mean that person is ugly. You're trying to make everything black and white, and life is seldom like that.
Lindarose84 Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 I'm white and typically not much attracted to black girls, but this has nothing to do with skin color per se - I like all skin (black, white, olive, asian, indian, latin, siberian, anywhere in between). I gues the typical facial features just don't trigger as much whatever it is that needs to be trigerred . I agree with Meagan on this one- Meagan is over here struggling with the love/hate relationship she has with being black (based on "typical" black features) and you come in the thread and say you're not attracted to the very features she's trying (or should be trying) to accept. No one is saying you have to be attracted to black people but this isn't the thread you want to come in to voice that opinion.
Sam Spade Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 I agree with Meagan on this one- Meagan is over here struggling with the love/hate relationship she has with being black (based on "typical" black features) and you come in the thread and say you're not attracted to the very features she's trying (or should be trying) to accept. No one is saying you have to be attracted to black people but this isn't the thread you want to come in to voice that opinion. Yep, admittedly distasteful in the particular context, for which I apologise, esp. since I've overlooked her specific concerns in the general discussion...
Isolde Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 Sam, don't feel bad. I mean, I'm not all that attracted to certain types of men, especially the "tall, dark, and handsome" type that other girls love, like George Clooney or Orlando Bloom. That doesn't mean I think they're ugly; for example, some of the best looking guys I've seen were that type.
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