Trialbyfire Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 That makes looks VERY important w/o it you aren't even given a chanceBy your own admission, you're pretty. So why, based on your own rationale, aren't you being flooded with date requests by men you find attractive?
GorillaTheater Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 That makes looks VERY important w/o it you aren't even given a chance Meagan, I'm going to be painfully candid with you: if you are anything IRL like you are here, you probably won't get past the entry foyer regardless of your looks. The good news is that you can do something about that. It's up to you.
amaysngrace Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 That makes looks VERY important w/o it you aren't even given a chance Meagan work your ass off and save your money and go get surgery. I bet you will still be miserable though. Do you know why? Because then you will bitch about how these guys are only after one thing and don't like you for who you really are! Geesh...there is no satisfying some people. It seems you are one of those people. The problem isn't with every guy in the world. The problem is with you.
Author MeaganRaye Posted June 9, 2009 Author Posted June 9, 2009 By your own admission, you're pretty. So why, based on your own rationale, aren't you being flooded with date requests by men you find attractive? I don't think that I am pretty enough. I am darkskin and Black, so the men that I appeal to seems limited. Now, I feel that if I were lighter complected I could attract more types of men(the type of men that I like) In my community, lightskin wmoen are prized. its gotten warmer where I live, the sun is out more so I have gotten darker. I am not getting noticed as much as when I was lighter during the winter/fall. With lightskin Black girls, guys notice them instantly, but with a darkskin girl like me, they have to see you upclose and get to know you before they think you are pretty. Not to mention I have to try a lot harder with my physical appearance
Trialbyfire Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 Here are a couple of other questions to answer, meagan. On a scale of 1 - 10, where 1 is less attractive and 10 is the ultimate, where would you rate yourself?By the same scale, where would you rate the men you find attractive?
amaysngrace Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 AMG, you're so right about the Rott(sic). I have a giant Airedale, Rufus, he would eat every flying monkey in OZ ( and probably most of the munchkins too). Dorothy would have owned Oz. Dripping in emeralds and living in the poppies.
Author MeaganRaye Posted June 9, 2009 Author Posted June 9, 2009 Here are a couple of other questions to answer, meagan.On a scale of 1 - 10, where 1 is less attractive and 10 is the ultimate, where would you rate yourself?By the same scale, where would you rate the men you find attractive? I don't like to rate myself. I just dont want to. But being a 10 is defintely ideal for me.
Bejita463 Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 But being a 10 is defintely ideal for me. Duh. That's kinda what the 10 on a 1-10 scale means.
Trialbyfire Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 I don't like to rate myself. I just dont want to. But being a 10 is defintely ideal for me.Just do the rating, both of you and your targets. As for skin colour making a difference, that's your own chip to bear. It's like bemoaning not having blonde hair, when you're a brunette. Moot.
Author MeaganRaye Posted June 9, 2009 Author Posted June 9, 2009 Just do the rating, both of you and your targets. As for skin colour making a difference, that's your own chip to bear. It's like bemoaning not having blonde hair, when you're a brunette. Moot. You're lucky you're not black because you don't have to deal with this. It's easy to change the color of your hair, I can be a blonde if I wanted to, but I can never be White unless I get extensive plastic surgery. I just know that I want to look the ideal (lightskin, long hair, light eyes) so I can appeal to as many black men as possible. I see how the lighter skin black women have it much easier and have access to the type of men that wont give me the time of day because I am not fair enough
Trialbyfire Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 You're lucky you're not black because you don't have to deal with this. It's easy to change the color of your hair, I can be a blonde if I wanted to, but I can never be White unless I get extensive plastic surgery. I just know that I want to look the ideal (lightskin, long hair, light eyes) so I can appeal to as many black men as possible. I see how the lighter skin black women have it much easier and have access to the type of men that wont give me the time of day because I am not fair enoughLink a sample of your skin tone.
lovestruck818 Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 You're lucky you're not black because you don't have to deal with this. It's easy to change the color of your hair, I can be a blonde if I wanted to, but I can never be White unless I get extensive plastic surgery. Skin colour has nothing to do with it. I know gorgeous black girls and ugly white girls...and vice versa. There are attractive people and ugly people in every race. Besides, what one person finds attractive, someone else may not and vice versa. Can you really argue something that is only an opinion and not a fact? A lot of men- white & black- like black girls. And if you are a good person, it shouldn't even matter.
lovestruck818 Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 You're lucky you're not black because you don't have to deal with this. It's easy to change the color of your hair, I can be a blonde if I wanted to, but I can never be White unless I get extensive plastic surgery. I just know that I want to look the ideal (lightskin, long hair, light eyes) so I can appeal to as many black men as possible. I see how the lighter skin black women have it much easier and have access to the type of men that wont give me the time of day because I am not fair enough And do you think everything is going to change when and if you finally gets the looks you desire? pretty people have things just as hard when it comes to dating...if not harder. I am a very attractive female, IMO, you can disagree- I don't care...but the point is...all my married friends are not as attractive as I am...and yet they are married and I can't even get past the first date. When you are pretty, guys want and expect sex more and if you don't give it, they bail.
Author MeaganRaye Posted June 9, 2009 Author Posted June 9, 2009 Skin colour has nothing to do with it. I know gorgeous black girls and ugly white girls...and vice versa. There are attractive people and ugly people in every race. Besides, what one person finds attractive, someone else may not and vice versa. Can you really argue something that is only an opinion and not a fact? A lot of men- white & black- like black girls. And if you are a good person, it shouldn't even matter. Skin color has everything to do with it. My culture is very colorstruck. Some black guys wont even look at a black girl if she isn't the right skin tone. They are very picky when it comes to darkskin girls, we have to try harder and our fashion, hair, and everything has to be on point. I never leave the house w/o makeup, always make sure my hair looks perfect with every strand in place. I cannot afford to let my hair down like the lightskin girls. I am held to a different standard. I grew up hearing black guys say they would only date a darkskin girl if she were stunning. Meaning they'd date an average looking fairksin girl but a darkskin girl she has to be above and beyond average looking And do you think everything is going to change when and if you finally gets the looks you desire? pretty people have things just as hard when it comes to dating...if not harder. I am a very attractive female, IMO, you can disagree- I don't care...but the point is...all my married friends are not as attractive as I am...and yet they are married and I can't even get past the first date. When you are pretty, guys want and expect sex more and if you don't give it, they bail. Yes, I feel my life and mental health would be much better. I'll be content with myself. I'll see other lightskin girls and not feel threatened because I will be just as light and pretty as they are. And statistics say that I may never marry, the dating pool just isn't that wide for a black girl like me. The competition is very high
lovestruck818 Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 Skin color has everything to do with it. My culture is very colorstruck. Some black guys wont even look at a black girl if she isn't the right skin tone. They are very picky when it comes to darkskin girls, we have to try harder and our fashion, hair, and everything has to be on point. I never leave the house w/o makeup, always make sure my hair looks perfect with every strand in place. I cannot afford to let my hair down like the lightskin girls. I am held to a different standard. I grew up hearing black guys say they would only date a darkskin girl if she were stunning. Meaning they'd date an average looking fairksin girl but a darkskin girl she has to be above and beyond average looking perhaps that's the problem? you are trying to be what you think THEY want you to be instead of what YOU want to be. (i understand I am probably being hypocritical here- I really need to take my own advice more often. I lost weight and keep losing it in order to try and appeal to men. The problem is, it's not working, and while I enjoy being thing...who am I really doing it for...them or me?)
boldjack Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 So Meagan, you are not only obsessed with appearance, but also a racist. I lived with a black woman and one of my sons is currently, head over heels, in love with a Kenyan girl, at college. My girl was dark-skinned and so is my sons girl, Black women used to be my Kryptonite. But I still wouldn't be attracted, unless they had something between their ears.
lovestruck818 Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 Skin color has everything to do with it. My culture is very colorstruck. Some black guys wont even look at a black girl if she isn't the right skin tone. They are very picky when it comes to darkskin girls, we have to try harder and our fashion, hair, and everything has to be on point. I never leave the house w/o makeup, always make sure my hair looks perfect with every strand in place. I cannot afford to let my hair down like the lightskin girls. I am held to a different standard. I grew up hearing black guys say they would only date a darkskin girl if she were stunning. Meaning they'd date an average looking fairksin girl but a darkskin girl she has to be above and beyond average looking Yes, I feel my life and mental health would be much better. I'll be content with myself. I'll see other lightskin girls and not feel threatened because I will be just as light and pretty as they are. And statistics say that I may never marry, the dating pool just isn't that wide for a black girl like me. The competition is very high But that is with any race. Dating isn't easy for ANYONE.
Author MeaganRaye Posted June 9, 2009 Author Posted June 9, 2009 So Meagan, you are not only obsessed with appearance, but also a racist. I lived with a black woman and one of my sons is currently, head over heels, in love with a Kenyan girl, at college. My girl was dark-skinned and so is my sons girl, Black women used to be my Kryptonite. But I still wouldn't be attracted, unless they had something between their ears. I am not a racist, I am discussing my issues dealing with intra-racism in my own community. Just because one of your sons is in love with a Kenyan girl doesn't mean that these problems don't exist, it doesn't make them go away
xpaperxcutx Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 You're lucky you're not black because you don't have to deal with this. It's easy to change the color of your hair, I can be a blonde if I wanted to, but I can never be White unless I get extensive plastic surgery. I just know that I want to look the ideal (lightskin, long hair, light eyes) so I can appeal to as many black men as possible. I see how the lighter skin black women have it much easier and have access to the type of men that wont give me the time of day because I am not fair enough It doesn't seem to be so much as looks as you're just not comfortable with being black. Do you do you want to be like Michael Jackson ( surgery wise)?
Author MeaganRaye Posted June 9, 2009 Author Posted June 9, 2009 It doesn't seem to be so much as looks as you're just not comfortable with being black. Do you do you want to be like Michael Jackson ( surgery wise)? No, Michael Jackson looks sick. There are some black women who have successfully lightened their skin and changed their features. I am a member of a forum where we all try to find ways to make ourselves look lighter. It has changed some of their lives and they talk about how differently black men treat them now that they have changed
coconuts Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 Huh? I know several very dark skinned black girls that are very attractive and have "your type" of man falling all over themselves to talk to them. I feel really sorry for you Meagan. It doesn't matter if you were your 'ideal' of beauty...it still wouldn't be enough for you. I am afraid you're going to end up one of those nutjobs that gets a new plastic surgery procedure every six months.
lovestruck818 Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 The underlying problem is...no matter how attractive someone is, life isn't all peaches and cookies. You could do whatever you want to your looks to try & better them, but if you think that's the magic answer to all your problems, the answer is no. Attractive people have problems too. Life is hard for the pretty people also. No one is exempt from anything. I will say attractive people have it easier in certain situations...but they are not exempt from heartbreak, illnesses, sadness or anything else.
Author MeaganRaye Posted June 9, 2009 Author Posted June 9, 2009 I just won't be totally happy with myself until I achieve that look; lightskin, refined features. Once I do, then I'll be happy and content. I notice how all the fairer complected girls seem happier because they get more attention from black guys. Even in clubs, they are able to enjoy themselves because of the amount of acceptance they get.
donnamaybe Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 Meagan, looks may get the door to open for you, but it's up to you how your personality is viewed once you get inside.
Author MeaganRaye Posted June 9, 2009 Author Posted June 9, 2009 Right Donna. That's why I need to imporve on my physical appearance so I can showcase that. If you aren't that pretty, men don't really care what you have to offer
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