Moving out of my parents' & in w/ my boyfriend...

[bittersweet1989]

Ok, I'm a 20yo who is tired of living at home w/ the rents and not being able to spend NEARLY enough time with my boyfriend of almost 2 years who lives about 40 min away. I know it is not a long distance, but we only see each other a couple of times a week since we both work and go to school.

 

A couple of months ago he asked me to move in and after some hesitation solely due to judgment of others I decide F*** them this is MY life I don't care what anyone else will think. Plus this is what I want! The ones that might disagree would be my older sister and parents who weren't completely fond of my bf , but they have been coming around recently.

 

I have told many people already, except for my parents, older sister, and one of my best friends who may or may not disapprove. The only reason one of my best friends might not approve is because she will think I am moving too fast. It has nothing to do with my boyfriend she thinks he's GREAT!

 

We are going to put a deposit down on the apt end of this month beginning of next, and will move in beginning of August! I cannot wait! We have all the furniture and everything we need! Everything financially has been figured out and the people I have told about it are super excited (including some friends and some of my family as well as ALL of his family).

 

My question is when do I tell the people who I feel might be against it? What if they ARE against it?

 

Oh, I forgot to tell you we found a place that is in the middle from where I will be going to school and where he works and is a very ideal, safe place. The only thing is it is about 25 min away from where I live now and I think that will be my families biggest issue.

 

I should probably just grow up and tell them, they will have to get over it eventually I mean I'm an adult and am capable of running my own life!

 

My relationship with my boyfriend is wonderful and I know we are 100% ready to move to the next step!!!! I have no doubt about that!!

 

Anyone who has information to share that might help me out, or maybe talk about how you went through something similar! Anything will help

 

Thanks!!!

[GorillaTheater]

I think you may well be my daughter. Just wait 'til I get home, young lady.

[bittersweet1989]

too bad my dad is at home. lol

[GorillaTheater]

Yeah, I kid, but in all honesty I DO have a 20 year old daughter and am going through something not dissimilar with her, so I'm obviously a little too emotionally invested to give you impartial advice. All I can do is tell you what I tell her (more or less): you're an adult, you're free to do what you want. Make sure this guy treats you right, and rest assured that no one will ever find his body if he doesn't. And if it all goes south, you'll always be welcome home with no recriminations or "I told you so's".

 

I don't know if this did anything for you, but it made me feel a little better...

 

I wish you the best of luck.

[TaraMaiden]

You're 20.

You're legally classified as an adult.

What business is it of anybody else's what you do?

If you're ready, you're ready.

 

Tell people by sending out change-of-address cards.

Old fashioned?

Maybe so, but it will sure get the point across.

And people do so like to be considered that way.

 

(Mind you, I would still follow the Judge Judy School of Advice and keep records of all bills paid by you/him, and keep separate bank accounts, and come to agreements regarding joint purchases.)

 

No.

Really.

I would.

 

And GorillaTheater's spot-on about him treating you good.

[bittersweet1989]

thanks guys that all really helps! and i know my family will be the same way and welcome me back if i need to. (hopefully i wont though lol)

 

We are being very smart about everything. Seperate bank accounts and records of everything will be kept! Marriage is when we become one...and so will everything else!

 

I can't wait! ...neither can he...last night he was like let's just move in now!!! lol (We are waiting until his lease is up at his other apartment lol)