vizno Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 One year ago, I remember breaking up with my gf and coming here to read all the stories to make me feel better to know that I wasn't alone. Anyways, some background information: We had been going out for 10 months, and I thought we were the perfect couple, and in those 10 months we had never had a single fight, argument, or dispute. Everything seemed so perfect and my life was bliss. We even had to do long distance during the school semesters as we went to different schools, and during the Summer I would go back to my hometown because that's where my parents and where she lived too, and we got through that pretty good. Anyways, we had a lot of mutual friends, but one day at a dinner with a bunch of our friends, I didn't walk her to her car after dinner, and she got angry and didn't speak with me for days. Now at the time I had no idea why she suddenly cut communications with me. When we finally spoke a few days later, I found out she was angry that I didn't walk her to her car that night. and then started to pick me apart for all these things, like how she's always the one to hold my hand and I never initiate, how she always runs to me to hug me instead of me going to hug her, how she always has to tell me to say hi to her parents, and all these other little things that ticked her off that I would have never thought of. This was even more surprising because I am a naturally shy and quiet person, and she used to tease me about it all the time. Then she broke up with me and made it pretty clear that there was no chance of getting back. I was devastated how it all seemed to happen over night and that I never saw it coming. She said she would still want to be friends, but I went total NC as I thought it would be best for me. But in doing so, I lost a lot of my friends in the process as they thought I was a jerk and selfish to go NC when she still wanted to be friends as I was looking out for myself instead of her too. She was apparently devestated by my decision. So right after the breakup, I went back to school, which made NC easier as we were not in the same city anymore, and we never talked since. I went to improve myself over the year, as I now graduated with distinction, was the president of our graduation committee, and did all these little things to enjoy life. I made some new friends in the process, but it seems like they will never be as close as my old friends. But here is my problem: over the year while putting my head on straight, a thought still creeps into my head: "What if I didn't go NC? Would I still have my friends? Would we have gotten back together? Would we have been able to stay friends? Most importantly would I have been able to become the person I am today? Am I really a selfish jerk for doing that?" I am about to walk the stage to get my piece of paper in a few days and start a new phase in life, but all these nagging questions still creep into my mind and I can't help but think of them and I don't know what to do! I really want to put this behind me before I start a new stage in life, but I can't seem to. One more problem. I still have a picture of her and me together that she hand-drew for my birthday. Its a really nice picture, and she put a lot of effort into it. It has been sitting in the back of my closet for the past year, but I don't know what to do with it. Help!
moet70 Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 Call her...it is better to have loved and lost, than never loved at all
Author vizno Posted June 9, 2009 Author Posted June 9, 2009 it has been a while since we talked though. It feels like it would be really weird to try and contact her again, and I don't think she thinks highly of me for going NC..
BackonTrack2 Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 thats a crock of ****, you went NC because you loved her and she didn't want to be with you. She wanted you to be friends while she went out and sucked another's cock. If she wanted you, she would of called you. You made the right choice and chances are, that "not walking her to car" was a line of ****. She was looking for a reason to break up with you, and in regards to you losing friends, NO, that is not true. That female was probably spilling lies about you, and boo hoo, you didn't want to be her friend... Well she didn't want to be with you so fawk her. The End. Keep NC. You did the right thing.
Leveller Posted June 14, 2009 Posted June 14, 2009 thats a crock of ****, you went NC because you loved her and she didn't want to be with you. She wanted you to be friends while she went out and sucked another's cock. If she wanted you, she would of called you. You made the right choice and chances are, that "not walking her to car" was a line of ****. She was looking for a reason to break up with you, and in regards to you losing friends, NO, that is not true. That female was probably spilling lies about you, and boo hoo, you didn't want to be her friend... Well she didn't want to be with you so fawk her. The End. Keep NC. You did the right thing. IMHO This is both hard, unnecessary and cruel...how do you know? In my opinion, and if you still have feelings for her, pick up the phone...life's too short.
AriaIncognito Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 I say leave it as it is. Anyone that used the excuse of not walking her to her car, once, is not someone worth your time in the long term. If something is bothering someone, they should be adult about it, and talk to you. Not just get secretly angry and let things build up until they get mad and break up with you over 1 action. You are better off staying NC and keeping forward with your new life.
sedgwick Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 First of all, get rid of the picture!! Secondly, you did the right thing going NC -- you were doing what you had to do to protect yourself. When someone breaks up with you, they have to be prepared to completely lose you. They don't get to call all the shots: "There's no chance we'll get back together, but I still want to be friends." Relationships go both ways, and when breakups happen each person has to do what's best for him- or herself. For her, it was ending the relationship. For you, it was going NC. Maybe it hurt her that you did so, but didn't it hurt you that she broke up? Bottom line: any friend who would leave you for taking measures to protect your own heart is not a friend you need.
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