d0ll Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 I know everyone's different BUT from your experience/point of view how long would you wait to start seeing someone after breaking up a 2 year relationship
SoulSearch_CO Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 I've heard hundreds of theories. But I guess the most prevailing one is that you should wait one month for each year you were together. But everybody is going to be different. My BF's last relationship lasted 5 years and he took a year and a half to get over her. Mine lasted 5 1/2 years and 5 months later, I was looking to date. It REALLY depends on what kind of problems caused the relationship to break up. My BF was happy the majority of the time in his last relationship. It was only the last year of theirs that started to go kind of sour at times...but he was STILL planning to ask her to marry him when she dumped him. Me, on the other hand - I put up with lying, cheating, and emotional abandonment for YEARS. We did have some good times, but I had my heart broken so dang many times that by the time I was ready to file divorce papers, it really didn't have the jolt that the end of my BF's relationship had.
Soul Bear Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 You sound too eager.....watch you dont hurt someone, yourself, or destroy your ex in the process. T h i n k very carefully about what you want
Author d0ll Posted June 9, 2009 Author Posted June 9, 2009 You sound too eager.....watch you dont hurt someone, yourself, or destroy your ex in the process. T h i n k very carefully about what you want I'm not the one that just got out of a relationship ..
MusicChick24 Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 It depends on you...BUT since you already covered that....it would also depend on if you were "in love" etc. Let's put it this way....my first love and I dated for only 2 months and broke up within two months I dated two other guys but I wasn't "over him" for eight more months. If my current bf and I ever broke up, we've been together for 4 years, so I'm not sure what I would do. I would probably wait six months and then try to date depending on how I felt, but I don't think I would ever be over him for a long time. There is an old wisetale that says if you take the length of your relationship and multiply it by two that's how long it will take you to get over the person and start dating again. But I'm not sure if that applies to you.
Katherineos123 Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 Hmmm... I always heard that it takes half the time you dated in order to properly get over them... So. 2 year relationship = 1 year recovery
Author d0ll Posted June 10, 2009 Author Posted June 10, 2009 Hmm .. the guy I like just got out the relationship .. we've been friends for a while & the last 3-4 months of his relationship was pretty sh***y .. i'm pretty sure he likes/liked me but I don't want to rush anything
fabulous_chk Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 I dated immediately 1 week after the break-up....just casual dating is good to open yourself to the world. I had several first dates and now, three months after the break-up I'm falling for the very first person I dated after the break-up.:love: I was very pro-active with my healing though. People have different ways of coping so, for some, it might take months or years to be ready.
Author d0ll Posted June 10, 2009 Author Posted June 10, 2009 yeah well he still mentions her it's only been like two weeks but i'm thinking if he likes me why talk about her (nothing major or complaining just sometimes her name comes up)
Author d0ll Posted June 10, 2009 Author Posted June 10, 2009 uh I think my question was kind of answered .. he was doing good with the break up now it's sinking in more
SoulSearch_CO Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 I've been out of my relationship with my XH for a year, now. My BF has been out of his relationship with his ex for (I think) over 2 years. The X's names come up in our conversations now and again. Hell, I spent 6 years of my life with my XH. If I were banned from speaking his name at all, I'd have to leave 6 years of experiences out whenever I spoke of my past. Just because an X's name comes up, does NOT mean that person is hung up on that X.
Author d0ll Posted June 10, 2009 Author Posted June 10, 2009 I've been out of my relationship with my XH for a year, now. My BF has been out of his relationship with his ex for (I think) over 2 years. The X's names come up in our conversations now and again. Hell, I spent 6 years of my life with my XH. If I were banned from speaking his name at all, I'd have to leave 6 years of experiences out whenever I spoke of my past. Just because an X's name comes up, does NOT mean that person is hung up on that X. Thanks he's pretty bummed out about it right now
lovelorcet Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 Rules and theories are pretty much pointless I think. I all depends on the situation. For example I have ended almost every relationship I have had except one. By the time I end a relationship I am emotionally so far away I don't really even care anymore. I could easily start seeing someone very quickly with no problem. Now on the other hand I was with someone for 10 years and got blindsided one day when she came home and ended it. I would say that took me about 2 years to recover from it and it took about 3 years for me to actually be able to feel something for someone else. Its all relative ;-)
SoulSearch_CO Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 OK...so just to clarify. This is a guy you're interested in. He was in a 2-year relationship that just ended 2 weeks ago? Goodness. I'd be really wary of this one. Don't completely write him off. But if it's only been 2 weeks and he sounds bummed when he speaks of his X...it isn't looking good for anything stable between you two.
Author d0ll Posted June 10, 2009 Author Posted June 10, 2009 OK...so just to clarify. This is a guy you're interested in. He was in a 2-year relationship that just ended 2 weeks ago? Goodness. I'd be really wary of this one. Don't completely write him off. But if it's only been 2 weeks and he sounds bummed when he speaks of his X...it isn't looking good for anything stable between you two. Yep, I wouldn't write him off .. we're really good friends
Recommended Posts