Hanabi Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 Hi there, this is classic the 'should I call or not'? and I will probably find out sooner or later anyway. I just met this guy about two weeks ago and he gave me his contact # so I texted him. He texted me back that same nite asking when will I have time to hang out and let's go for a movie etc. I text him back but he didn't reply so I phoned him the next day evening. He asked me again when will I have a day off so we can hang out for a coffee or something. We made plans and then we didn't talk for two days but I decided to maybe phone him up again to see how is it going (I guess I am a phone person and I do tend to talk on the phone alot). We talked alittle and we made concrete plans to meet up on the weekend. The next day he text me about his whereabout and he came and picked me up and we went out. He drove me all around town and had coffee and dinner, lots of conversation and getting to know each other this and that. I guess I have to say I am quite interest in him but also maybe things I said could make it alittle too obvious? I don't know. After the 'date' he dropped me off, I phoned him again to say thank you, talked for a few min and he said let's go to this other restaurant or this other place next time and he sounded quite happy. Now, it's been two days and he hasn't call nor text me. I know this is NORMAL but I think my question is, how many days would a guy wait to call the girl if he is interest? or if I should just give up already since I might have looked like I was so desperate or something...I just have a tendency of calling guys/girls regardless I guess I never go with the 'rule' since my past relationships never work in that ways. It's either the guy just call me alot or vice versa and it was fine. This person is considerably older than me (I think 10~15 yrs?) and he's Japanese. I'm just wondering perhaps he's just not interest in me but just wanted to be friends? but even as in friends, usually would call and say hi though.. Like I said I'm not expecting him to be calling me right away now but just wondering what's the maximum days that guys would call and if they don't then I should just give up and forget about him? Any ideas would be great, thanks!
D-Lish Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 I'd say you're being way too obvious and way too accessible. You're calling him far too much. You are in danger of putting the guy off by doing all the contacting. It's cringe worthy reading your post about how much you are reaching out. Let him pursue a bit.... You are not even giving him the chance to do so. Don't view this like a friendship- it's a romantic endeavour, and it's different. Just take a deep breath and relax. Let him come to you.
Author Hanabi Posted June 9, 2009 Author Posted June 9, 2009 Thanks for telling me that, I guess that's my problem sometimes, I have trouble swtiching between the 'friend' mode or 'dating' mode sometimes, I just called and say hi and whatever without really thinking too much into it. I have already decided not to call until he phones me, I guess I'm just wondering how long should I wait until I should just give up?
Shygirl15 Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 You don't need to wait for anything. Just proceed with your life as usual. Let him come to you. If he doesn't then maybe it wasn't meant to be. I think D-Lish gave some really great points.
Author Hanabi Posted June 9, 2009 Author Posted June 9, 2009 I guess ur right, I'm always like this at the beginning, seems to rush into things and worry and think too much. I'll just let it go and enjoy the summer ^^
D-Lish Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 Thanks for telling me that, I guess that's my problem sometimes, I have trouble swtiching between the 'friend' mode or 'dating' mode sometimes, I just called and say hi and whatever without really thinking too much into it. I have already decided not to call until he phones me, I guess I'm just wondering how long should I wait until I should just give up? Just remember men generally like a little mystery, I think we all do. If you have to keep calling him to remind him you are interested, there is something wrong, and it's not worth it. You'll have a bigger impact by hanging back and playing it cool. Honestly, if a guy is interested, he will call.... If he isn't that interested- calling him a bunch of times isn't going to change that. If he is interested- calling him too much will ruin it.... So hang back. Don't think of it like giving up on him- think of it as you have never put any merit into him in the first place. If he calls, he calls- if he doesn't- he doesn't. Never have it be about waiting. Girls that are worth it don't need to wait.
Author Hanabi Posted June 9, 2009 Author Posted June 9, 2009 Thanks again for your idea, you're so right.. I'm just not very confident in myself most of the time:confused: But anyway, thanks ^^
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