wow123 Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 I realize some people are needy from the start or very early on in the relationship because that is who they are. Something nobody seems to realize is that people often become needy when their S/O is drifting away, not wanting to talk as much, not wanting to hang out often basically distancing them as they are on their way out of the relationship. I know this has happened to me on several occasions...Thoughts?
SweetyBear Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 I would agree that when your partner pulls away you feel and act more needy. You need them to pay attention, but you know they're not. I've seen it to the extreme where one person cheats on the other just to get a reaction basically to see if their partner will fight for them. More mildly, yes, the insecurity about the relationship in general will be displayed as neediness. I am very guilty of this and really had no reason to be insecure. I really think my SO pulled away because of a lack of time and not a lack of commitment, but my neediness was a definite turnoff for him.
Author wow123 Posted June 8, 2009 Author Posted June 8, 2009 I did the same. She was pushing me away and I became needy which is obviously a major turnoff. I didn't realize what i was doing until it was too late.
Trojan John Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 Needy people make me cringe. They're like energy vacuums, sucking the life force out of people. I used to be a well of patience, but that well dried up after my last 3 girlfriends. Their neediness pushed me further and further away. I've had to relearn patience when dealing with needy people, as my wife is one. Conversely, she has had to learn to deal with her neediness, but it has taken years of gaining self-confidence, self-respect, and learning how to be happy on her own. I'm happy to say that we are about 2 years away from a point of eqilibrium.
t0ri Posted June 9, 2009 Posted June 9, 2009 I made that same mistake, unknowingly at the time. The more I felt him pulling away, the tighter I clung. Wonder what would've happened if I hadn't been so needy :/
highfive123 Posted June 10, 2009 Posted June 10, 2009 I did the same thing became needy after i felt her pulling away. There was nothing else I could think of doing at the time except trying to find "why" she was pulling away therefore making me needy. I respected her wishes and backed off. Now i've turned around and became completely independent and that pissed her off as well and now she doesn't even want to be friends with me like she wanted to at first. Who the hell knows what some people want?
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