pollswolls Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 Has anyone ever come to the realization that they aren't physically attracted to their spouse. I love my husband very much. We've had some ups & downs like all marriages. Our children are grown & out of the house. Recently I've realized that I'm just not attracted to him in a physical way like I used to be. We are in our late 40's- Is this normal?
Jennifer26 Posted June 8, 2009 Posted June 8, 2009 Has your husband appearance greatly changed? Obviously we all change over time as we age, but I mean anything above and beyond that? I don't know what the norm is. I do know my husband and I have been together 10-years, and (being honest) in that time he's gained probably 30 pounds, his hair has gone mostly grey, he's begun developing lines in his face. But I can say I find him every bit as attractive today as I did ten years ago. I know I've undergone physical changes (for the worst) with two children and a decade as well. I think being in love is a huge factor. When you're in love, you're able to see past physical flaws to an extent. Infact, sometimes flaws can be endearing. However, if you grow apart or fall out of love, I think that is when we really begin to find our spouses unattractive. I could be wrong, but these are just my thoughts on the subject.
JayJ Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 Physical attraction is extremely important in a marriage. Without it the marriage can become sexless. I married a woman I wasn't sexually attracted to because of other reasons and don't have any desire for her sexually and haven't had since day 1.
tami-chan Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 Physical attraction is extremely important in a marriage. Without it the marriage can become sexless. I married a woman I wasn't sexually attracted to because of other reasons and don't have any desire for her sexually and haven't had since day 1. Why are you STILL married to her, JayJ?
JayJ Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 Yes 20 years later we are still together, that's what happens when you have kids- they come first.
justxme Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 .....I think being in love is a huge factor. When you're in love, you're able to see past physical flaws to an extent. Infact, sometimes flaws can be endearing. However, if you grow apart or fall out of love, I think that is when we really begin to find our spouses unattractive. I could be wrong, but these are just my thoughts on the subject. I have to agree with this, though I am not the greatest example, when my hubby acts ugly I think he is ugly.
giotto Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 I married a woman I wasn't sexually attracted to because of other reasons What other reasons? What can make you marry a woman you are not sexually attracted to? I'm still fairly attracted to my wife and we are in our late forties as well... I don't know if she finds me that attractive anymore, though...
JayJ Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 What other reasons? What can make you marry a woman you are not sexually attracted to? It's a loooooong story. Let me just say that it seemed like a real good idea at the time. I often wonder what it would be like to be able to be turned on by the same person year after year. That some people can do this has always amazed me.
giotto Posted June 12, 2009 Posted June 12, 2009 It's a loooooong story. Let me just say that it seemed like a real good idea at the time. I often wonder what it would be like to be able to be turned on by the same person year after year. That some people can do this has always amazed me. well, I find my wife very attractive, physically speaking... she has the kind of body that really turns me on...
JayJ Posted June 15, 2009 Posted June 15, 2009 Has your husband appearance greatly changed? Obviously we all change over time as we age, but I mean anything above and beyond that? I don't know what the norm is. I do know my husband and I have been together 10-years, and (being honest) in that time he's gained probably 30 pounds, his hair has gone mostly grey, he's begun developing lines in his face. But I can say I find him every bit as attractive today as I did ten years ago. I know I've undergone physical changes (for the worst) with two children and a decade as well. I think being in love is a huge factor. When you're in love, you're able to see past physical flaws to an extent. Infact, sometimes flaws can be endearing. However, if you grow apart or fall out of love, I think that is when we really begin to find our spouses unattractive. I could be wrong, but these are just my thoughts on the subject. Jennifer. We don't get many cases (here) of sexless marriage caused mainly by a lack of sexual attraction although I think it's very common. Your case is interesting because you are a woman and it is usually men, with their primary sexual sense being the visual, that complain most about this problem. I'd like to hear more about the situation including whether any feeling of sexual boredom accompanied the lowering os sexual desire.
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